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can i handle it?

Posted by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 1:14 AM
  • 16 Replies
Determined to finally start college after almost 4 years of being a stay at home mom/wife. but im scared about it all.... Maybe Leaving my kids in a daycare/school, would it make me a bad mom? adjusting to school after so long and handling my home and kids and everything at the same time, i know i can but i guess the fear of failure is always in the back of my head :/ im only 21 but i feel like its been forever since i was in school any advice on how to go about it all? Your views on daycares? ( my son is almost 4 wld be starting preK but thinking about placing him in head-start next half of the day and my baby boy is 18 months would be close to 2 by then thinking about placing him same head-start where they watch them for 5-6 hours perfect so i could go to school?) any advice at all very appreciated :)
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by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 1:14 AM
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want10more
by Member on Mar. 11, 2013 at 1:35 AM
1 mom liked this

oh girl, don't be so scared... just go for it! and of course it doesn't make you a bad mom! i'm 43 and would LOVE to go back to school too... and you sure don't wanna wait THAT long, then it really does get scary! i'm pretty sure you could visit the daycare before you enroll your baby, maybe that would make you more comfortable. and you know, i never had daycare for my kids either, i'm a stay at home mom too. when it was time for my 6 yr old to start kindergarten, altho he was academically WAY ahead, he was emotionally and behaviorally immature, and was VERY anxious, more than normal. he just hadn't been socialized at all. we almost had to hold him back, but didn't dare cuz he was so far ahead. yeah he acclimatized really quickly, but it could have been a disaster. now i wish i would have put him in daycare at least once in a while, and i'm going to do that for my younger kids.

piwife
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 2:35 AM
Am almost 26 and thinking about college...
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KeriAZ
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 2:53 AM

I did the college thing at 30 and I became an EMT. It was the best thing for me. My kids did well but they were older. Just go for it. Your kids will thank you in the long run I believe.

MamaSnaps
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 12:09 PM
1 mom liked this

I am partial to home care providers who have a strong educational foundation, but that's me. I do NOT like the big commercial daycares that are also educational. They always felt like a kennel to me. 
I think head start is a fantastic idea. I am not sure how that works with a child who is in PreK too, but if you can do it? I'd try it. Just be aware if it is overloading him. I doubt it. I have kids who had full day kinder at that age and they did awesome-even the one with a learning disability.

Do not feel guilty for putting your kids into school/daycare. You are a mom and they are your responsibility, but you also have to be the best mom you can be. Getting an education is only going to make you a better mom. Plus we all need adult stimiulation of some sort for some of our time-it makes us come home and kiss our babies and WANT to play with them instead of we HAVE to play and care for them.  

I'm not going to lie to you, it won't be easy. The homework load in college course work is hell when you have a family to care for at home. I did it, my daughter-in-law is doing it now and it's a HUGE juggling act that you can't always win. The laundry might just not get done and the dishes may pile up for a day. You only have so many hours in the day and the kids have to come first. So, if the dishes soak in the sink overnight and the laundry doesn't get done till Saturday don't let it get to you. You can't live in filth, but you can allow yourself some leeway too. 

Don't take a heavy course load. English 1530 is a LOT of reading and writing and it takes some time investment. If you are going full time take the minimum credit requirement until you know you can balance it. I believe that most colleges now won't let you take the maximum course load as a first semester student but, just in case. For each hour of class you can almost expect that much in homework too. 

Get the failure fear out of your head. It's not an option at this point. If you make it so-it will be so. Keep reminding yourelf that failure isn't an option and why. If you have to make it the background for your computer and your phone-do it!!! If you start to slip with something remind yourself that failure isn't an option and find some other way that will help you with that little bit of a slip. As far as your college course work goes-make sure you are being the Mom. To you, not the kids. If you were doing this in high school what would your mom/dad whomever say? would they crack down on you or would they be saying good job? Don't forget to tell yourself good job when you get a good grade and celebrate it!!! Even if it's just a Shamrock Shake or a bubble bath!!! We all talk about how our kids work well with rewards-so do we!!! If someone would reward me for cleaning up my desk I could see the surface of it every day. As it is? They just pile more crap on it, so I can't see it and there's no reason to find out what color it is. KWIM? 


Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Mar. 11, 2013 at 12:10 PM

Do it! It makes you a better mom, you will be setting a good example for them. A lot of colleges have on-site daycare, you could look into that. Your kids will have lots of fun, don't worry.

mamacita92
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 12:21 PM
Yes since Pre-k is half a day he can be in head-start the other half majority of my friends are doing it that way and say their kids love it and are learning alot! So im really considering it, as for the my smaller one i dont know i feel guilty because in my family Daycares are seen as a way to not be responsible for your kids but its not that i just want to go to school and be a mother my kids can be proud of, but fact is im grown and i know what i do with them and how much they can benefit from it too, so i going to give it my all and like "mamaSnaps" said failure is not an option! Thank-you so much ladies for your advice :)
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MrsJoe125
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 12:22 PM

You should do what you believe is best for your family and make adjustments as needed.  Prioritize.

Personally, I would wait until my kids were older before I went back, but, like I said, you have to do what you believe is best for your family.

((((hugs))))

MamaSnaps
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 12:22 PM

I wanted to touch back on English 1530... ASK and read the syllabus/outline from the professor on each different professor's class. There can be EXTREMELY different classes all in the same course. Mine was all centered around writing and culminating in a HUGE Term Paper. However my husband's was all centered around reading-from political to classics to one of the current best selling fiction authors-and then writing about those works or about themes and ideas from those works. His was by far the more eudcational class and also the easier class to me!

Find the one that looks right for you. You may have to talk with former students of each class in order to find out! It's worth it!

DCR1
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 1:01 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes indeed, proud of you! This will be a great thing all around, your children will be around other children and learn how to interact and a whole lot of other great things, you get to live out your dream and open a whole new world for yourself., DO NOT place yourself in the seat of a defeatist attitude, that's self sabotaging, you are in a wonderful position, and can accomplish awesome things with it. allow both yourself and your children to grow and learn, keep your head high, walk with confidence, meet new people, enjoy this experience and grasp what you can along the way., get excited about everything, in about a week or so it will feel as if you and yours always belonged where you are, keep your feet solid no matter what and congratulations!

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Mar. 11, 2013 at 1:16 PM
School will only help you, not hinder you.
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