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My son has a birth defect/clothing issues

Posted by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 12:48 AM
  • 13 Replies

My son is 8 and has an incomplete right hand so buttoning and snapping has always been a little difficult for him. He hates to wear button shirts and used to hate wearing zip/button pants but in the past year we have only let him wear his comfy pull-on pants once or twice a week.  My question is are we being overly hard on him or should we keep "raising the bar" so to speak.  The big issue now is button shirts.  He is fine with polos or a shirt with just a couple buttons on top but when it comes to dressier shirts that obviously have more than a couple buttons, he strongly dislikes them.  Is it mean of me to buy him the shirts & ask that he wear them once or twice a week, to church or whatever ?

by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 12:48 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Pukalani79
by Bronze Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 12:53 AM
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 I don't think you're being mean.  I think you're challenging him and raising him to be self supporting in spite of his handicap.  You're not letting that define who is, nor letting him use it as an excuse.  Good for you.

AngelicMommy_72
by Bronze Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 1:03 AM
I agree with puka, my niece is missing her leftp thumb, she demands to do things on her own.
shes only four, but I hope she demands it forever. I think you're doing right by. him.
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victoriaherring
by Bronze Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 1:19 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't think you're being mean exactly, but if I'm understanding right he is wearing button up shirts multiple times a week.. why? It just seems like they can be saved only for special occasions. I don't know the nature of his birth defect or anything, but maybe he can use a tool to help him if he needs to wear button up shirts more often. Here's one on amazon that may help..

http://www.amazon.com/Aids-for-Arthritis-Grips-Button/dp/B0006Z3GYG?tag=americaninven-20

OXO%20Good%20Grips%20Button%20Hook


Katenemsmom
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 1:29 AM
I think it is mean to make him wear clothes he strongly dislikes. I let my kids choose their own clothes from an early age. At 8 he is capable of making choices. Save the difficult clothing for picture day.
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frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:10 AM

Would you treat a child with no defects the same way?  What if a child with no defects wanted to just wear tshirts and sweat pants, would you force them to wear more formal clothing as well?   I agree with Kate that I allow dd to choose her own clothing unless it is picture day or somewhere more formal than school.   Also look into tools that could help him.   Has he been through physical or occupational therapy for his defects so he could be taught coping skills with dressing and other life skills?

Kazmira222
by Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:24 AM
This


Quoting Katenemsmom:

I think it is mean to make him wear clothes he strongly dislikes. I let my kids choose their own clothes from an early age. At 8 he is capable of making choices. Save the difficult clothing for picture day.

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Mommy2justone
by Mommy2justtwo on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:37 AM

I would keep raising the bar. If he didn't have a birth defect you would push him with other things, right? 
So push him with this! Just know his limits, and make sure not to over do it.  

blessedisme3
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:41 AM
This exactly. Don't let him limit himself, or define himself by his hand. He needs to challenge himself and learn to do these things for himself. As his mother, you are doing the right thing. Keep it up!


Quoting Pukalani79:

 I don't think you're being mean.  I think you're challenging him and raising him to be self supporting in spite of his handicap.  You're not letting that define who is, nor letting him use it as an excuse.  Good for you.


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brittany208
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 1:08 PM

If it were me, I would make sure he practiced so he was capable of buttoning, but I wouldn't force him to wear button up shirts. Kids with no hand probems only wear button up shirts once a week, if that. Jeans though... yeah, its one button....

oahoah
by Bronze Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:38 PM

Thanks everyone for the input!

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