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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms
i just started a new relationship about 2 months ago things are good and we are very happy together. but i just miscarried his baby. i wasn't far along and we had no clue i was pregnant.

we have talked about having kids and we both agreed we wanted to wait a year or so.

so my question is should i tell him i miscarried?? i waited til he went to work the other day and went to the ER where they told me it was a miscarriage. i am very upset although i didn't want another baby right now...im still very hurt...WWYD???
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by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 2:45 AM
Replies (41-50):
kbeeck
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 9:49 AM

I would tell him. You shouldn't hold something like that from someone you see as being a future husband. Holding secretsis no way to start a good relationship. Your husband should be the one person you can't hold anything back from. So be open and honest to him about it, if anything it will bring you two closer together and if he really cares about you he'll be there for you through this hard time. I've gone through three miscarriages and ectopic pregnancy, my husband was by my side through all of it. It is hard and it's nice to have someone to talk to about it openly. Like I said earlier, this might be a thing that brings you two closer together. And if you want to wait to have kids you should probably look into some form of birth control. All thou I will tell you being on birth control pills can cause fertility problems later if your on it for along time. I was on mine for seven years and the doctors think that's why I had such a hard time. Just a FYI.

butterflycircle
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 9:58 AM

So sorry for your loss. No matter how far along you were it is still a loss and that is always hard : (

I would def tell him and I am not really sure why you waited to go to the er with out him and would hide this in the first place. It might not be when you wanted this and it might be early in your relationship and it is your body, but this is both of your relationship and both of your baby. If you stay with him, in the long run I think you would regret never telling him this. The longer you wait to tell him the harder it might be and the harder it might be to explain why you didn't tell him sooner.

Good luck 

momamanda
by Member on Mar. 20, 2013 at 10:03 AM

I would tell him! honesty is the best policy in any relationship!

Jesswright25
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 10:07 AM

If you love him, tell him. A good relationship needs to be open and honest. If he is a good man he will hold you, kiss you, and tell you that it is ok, and that he loves you. He will help you get through it emotionally (it is a hard thing to miscarry, as I am sure you know), and if he is any kind of man, he will stick with you.

SlightlyPerfect
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by Bronze Member on Mar. 20, 2013 at 10:38 AM

What kind of BC are you on?

slightlyperfect

LilDzMamma2010
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 1:11 PM
marriage is just a piece of paper to us. i am happy it worked for u though

Quoting ali840:

 Can I ask why? Why would you not want to get married if you have talked about having babies? Marriage gets a bad rap these days, but it's still really important to a stable family. Marriage provides both parties with a support system they can rely on. It's just a whole other level of commitment. Why would you not want that if you have children together? My husband and I got married and got pregnant right away. Those first few years were really tough and I can honestly say that if we hadn't been married one of us probably would have left. But we didn't because we were married. Now 2 children later we're coming up on our 10th anniversary this summer. I'm so happy with him and my kids have a secure, stable home life where they know nobody is going anywhere.


Quoting LilDzMamma2010:

neither of us want marriage but thanks :-)



Quoting ali840:

Relationships are all about honesty, communication, and working through things together. Use this as an opportunity to do those things. Also, I know this is crazy, but consider getting married before having a baby together?

 

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jesusgirl76
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 5:14 PM
I agree. ((hugs))

Quoting Bmat:

Yes for sure you should tell him.  You should be able to rely on him for comforting and emotional support.

I am sorry about your loss. :(

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liliem
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 6:21 PM

I would tell him. You can also see how he feels about these kinds of things. And best to start a relationship on trust.

Diane1223
by Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:29 AM
I think he deserves to know!
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imultracool
by Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:30 AM
Tell him.
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