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he will not budge on

Posted by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:35 AM
  • 13 Replies
Modification of the co. I've asked him numerous times if we can modify the court order to include what i want basically eow because he works and he will not budge! He says no then turns around and says well u have her more than i do. No duh dipshit because you work every other weekend!

One weekend i caught him at home and texted him and said since your home you can pick kiddo up from my brothers because i have to go babysit the other kids.

He showed up but it wasn't to take kiddo it was so he could say he was called in to work.

How can i get him to agree to the modification without a huge blow up? I would appreciate him going along with the modification because it would make things easier on both of us.

He'd rather use me as a babysitter instead of having his wife of 2 years(as of monday) babysit or find a sitter himself so he can work
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by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:35 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mommy_2_be_2010
by Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:57 AM
Bump
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breebree04
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:57 AM

You dont need his permission. I get that it would be easier if you could both agree and just go into court and sign some papers but if you want to have it modified it sounds like your just ganna have to take him to court. It really shouldnt be that big of a deal in court either. They will here you both out, make a decision and have you sign the paperwork. He may be pissed if it doesnt go his way but oh well, he'll get over it.

mommy_2_be_2010
by Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:05 AM
Thats the thing i agreed to give him jc but he will not agree to the modification so that we can both be sure it includes what i want eow(since i already have her) with moderate visitation supervised by me during the week at my descretion outside of my home.

I don't want to fight him on this because everytime i bring up the issue he threatens me with well i'm filing for full custody. He's done this for 3 years i'm tired of fighting him for this the co should have included what i wanted from the begining but it's only one sided and thats his side it's protecting him.


Quoting breebree04:

You dont need his permission. I get that it would be easier if you could both agree and just go into court and sign some papers but if you want to have it modified it sounds like your just ganna have to take him to court. It really shouldnt be that big of a deal in court either. They will here you both out, make a decision and have you sign the paperwork. He may be pissed if it doesnt go his way but oh well, he'll get over it.

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breebree04
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:21 AM

 Hes threatening you because he thinks it will stop you from taking him to court and it is obviously working. If he is not sticking to his jc agreement there is no way a judge is going to give him full custody. Make sure you have some proof that he is not getting her like he is suppose to so its not your word against his and take him to court. If you have proof (text messages, witnesses) that hes not seeing/getting her like hes suppose to then I dont see why any judge would not listen to you and modify the agreement. Alls you can do is try, otherwise things will stay the same since he obviously isnt going to agree to anything. Dont let his threats keep you from doing what you gotta do.


Quoting mommy_2_be_2010:

Thats the thing i agreed to give him jc but he will not agree to the modification so that we can both be sure it includes what i want eow(since i already have her) with moderate visitation supervised by me during the week at my descretion outside of my home.

I don't want to fight him on this because everytime i bring up the issue he threatens me with well i'm filing for full custody. He's done this for 3 years i'm tired of fighting him for this the co should have included what i wanted from the begining but it's only one sided and thats his side it's protecting him.

 


 

mommy_2_be_2010
by Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:23 AM
My mom is the only witness i have

Quoting breebree04:

 Hes threatening you because he thinks it will stop you from taking him to court and it is obviously working. If he is not sticking to his jc agreement there is no way a judge is going to give him full custody. Make sure you have some proof that he is not getting her like he is suppose to so its not your word against his and take him to court. If you have proof (text messages, witnesses) that hes not seeing/getting her like hes suppose to then I dont see why any judge would not listen to you and modify the agreement. Alls you can do is try, otherwise things will stay the same since he obviously isnt going to agree to anything. Dont let his threats keep you from doing what you gotta do.




Quoting mommy_2_be_2010:

Thats the thing i agreed to give him jc but he will not agree to the modification so that we can both be sure it includes what i want eow(since i already have her) with moderate visitation supervised by me during the week at my descretion outside of my home.

I don't want to fight him on this because everytime i bring up the issue he threatens me with well i'm filing for full custody. He's done this for 3 years i'm tired of fighting him for this the co should have included what i wanted from the begining but it's only one sided and thats his side it's protecting him.


 



 

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breebree04
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:28 AM

 You dont have any text messages of him saying hes not getting her or cancelling? What about your brother? You said he stopped by your brothers house but didnt pick her up. Either way if you want things to change you will have to just file the paperwork and take your chances. Im thinking worst case senario is your agreement will stay the same, best case the agreement will change in your favor. He is not going to get full custody unless he has something on you that will prove you an unfit mother.


Quoting mommy_2_be_2010:

My mom is the only witness i have

Quoting breebree04:

 Hes threatening you because he thinks it will stop you from taking him to court and it is obviously working. If he is not sticking to his jc agreement there is no way a judge is going to give him full custody. Make sure you have some proof that he is not getting her like he is suppose to so its not your word against his and take him to court. If you have proof (text messages, witnesses) that hes not seeing/getting her like hes suppose to then I dont see why any judge would not listen to you and modify the agreement. Alls you can do is try, otherwise things will stay the same since he obviously isnt going to agree to anything. Dont let his threats keep you from doing what you gotta do.


 



 


 

MamaSnaps
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:40 AM

Sounds kind of unreasonable to me. She's the step-mother and she spends time with the kids too. You are going to have to get used to that one. She's married to him and she's a part of his life. Doesn't matter if you don't like it or don't like her and causing strife over it is only going to hurt your son in the end. 

And you kind of contradicted yourself. You had the child at your brother's (sitter) so you could go babysit other kids (work) but you don't want him to do the same thing. 

He's equally a parent in this and so is his S/O. I'd leave the court order and instead of being confrontational about it and ask him to have you babysit when a family member can't do it. And yes, that includes the step-mom as a family member. His family needs to be a part of your son's life too, so if a brother, sister, mother, aunt, uncle... watches your son that's pretty acceptable.  

mommy_2_be_2010
by Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:53 AM
Look at my avi does my child look like a boy! I clearly stated i was the one babysitting i took her with me she does not leave my side. He leaves her home with me instead of having his wife watch her so that he can go work because she will NOT get up with our child. She has a child of her own but doesn't have him! She gave him up to his father.



there for i have every right to get the court order modified he isn't holding up his end of the court order. I provide her with clothes to take panties socks shoes ect there have been a few times i've taken food over there and he's complained because he doesn't want to take care of HER (OUR CHILD). I wasn't getting paid to babysit my nieces and nephew either so how is that relevant? I'd never leave my daughter with my brother because he was abusive tward me until i moved out of my moms house



MY CHILD IS A GIRL NOT A BOY


Quoting MamaSnaps:

Sounds kind of unreasonable to me. She's the step-mother and she spends time with the kids too. You are going to have to get used to that one. She's married to him and she's a part of his life. Doesn't matter if you don't like it or don't like her and causing strife over it is only going to hurt your son in the end. 

And you kind of contradicted yourself. You had the child at your brother's (sitter) so you could go babysit other kids (work) but you don't want him to do the same thing. 

He's equally a parent in this and so is his S/O. I'd leave the court order and instead of being confrontational about it and ask him to have you babysit when a family member can't do it. And yes, that includes the step-mom as a family member. His family needs to be a part of your son's life too, so if a brother, sister, mother, aunt, uncle... watches your son that's pretty acceptable.  

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mommy_2_be_2010
by Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:58 AM
My brother had to work which is why i was watching his kids.....i don't have the texts because i sold my old phone back to verizon when i bought a new one.


I could send vzw a notice but i don't want to drag it out


Quoting breebree04:

 You dont have any text messages of him saying hes not getting her or cancelling? What about your brother? You said he stopped by your brothers house but didnt pick her up. Either way if you want things to change you will have to just file the paperwork and take your chances. Im thinking worst case senario is your agreement will stay the same, best case the agreement will change in your favor. He is not going to get full custody unless he has something on you that will prove you an unfit mother.




Quoting mommy_2_be_2010:

My mom is the only witness i have


Quoting breebree04:


 Hes threatening you because he thinks it will stop you from taking him to court and it is obviously working. If he is not sticking to his jc agreement there is no way a judge is going to give him full custody. Make sure you have some proof that he is not getting her like he is suppose to so its not your word against his and take him to court. If you have proof (text messages, witnesses) that hes not seeing/getting her like hes suppose to then I dont see why any judge would not listen to you and modify the agreement. Alls you can do is try, otherwise things will stay the same since he obviously isnt going to agree to anything. Dont let his threats keep you from doing what you gotta do.



 




 




 

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breebree04
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:04 PM

 Well whatever you decide, Good luck! Whether you decide to take him to court now or not I would start documenting everything from here on out and save all text messages or voicemails. That way you have all the info and proof you need in the future.


Quoting mommy_2_be_2010:

My brother had to work which is why i was watching his kids.....i don't have the texts because i sold my old phone back to verizon when i bought a new one.


I could send vzw a notice but i don't want to drag it out


 

 

 

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