Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

I'm new to this role.*update*

Posted by   + Show Post
My boyfriend and I live together and I have two kids and he has 3 kid. We have his every other weekend. Supposed to be Friday to Sunday but we always end up with then till Monday. I watch his the Friday night till he gets home from work. I asked if his kids could get dropped of at 8pm instead of 7 so I could get mine to sleep befits I get more kids in this house. His ex is trying to fight with me about it. I'm helping out by watching them,I don't have to. I think she should understand and stop fighting me. Its either I watch then at 8 or she had to wait till he gets home at 11pm. Any advice'....


Update- 3/22. She dropped the kids off at 5 like planned. Didn't say good bye to the kids or even thank me for changing the time. Just told me the baby should be hungry. I'm not mad that I had to feed him,I love feeding him he eats so well. I'm mad that I Changed my plans, to be home at this tine to shut get up and she couldn't even give me a thank you. Next weekend we have them she can wait until mine go to bed like I had planned on the first place since she can't be polite enough to thank me for canceling plans for her
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:29 AM
Replies (11-20):
audreesmama
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:55 AM
How old are all the kids? 8yo fs still goes to bed at 8. What's the court ordered custody arrangement?


Quoting heatherann2:

Shewants to drop them of between 6-7 so she has more tome to go out. I would like to wait till 8 when mine are asleep. The tine was 730_8 but she always has a reason why it needs to be earlier, to find it she is lying to go to a bar or something. So I figured id give her a scheduled time and be set. Of an emergency comes up and they need to come earlier so be it. But I think 8 pm is a good time




Quoting audreesmama:

What's the co arrangement?






Quoting heatherann2:

I'm asking for her to bring them over at 8 she wants it earlier so she can go out. They are my family and I love those kids, but id prefer to get mine to sleep before hers coffee over. My boyfriend won't let me put histwo oldest to bed, they wait for him to hey home from work. My kids would fight sleep of the two oldest weren't going to sleep as well. It is just easier. He isn't even seeing them till the next morning, if he wakes up with them, of not I'm the one up with all the kids.which is fine I'm an early riser. I'm just wondering if in wrong to ask her to do them off when my kids go to bed, when their dad isn't here, so of have no help with 5 kids








Quoting MamaSnaps:

What's the problem with them coming at 8? They're essentially now your family too and if it's inconvenient, well, that's part of the territory. If you start a routine for their arrival and bed time at the same time and do it consistently you and all of the kids will adjust appropriately. Is it really worth causing troube for him seeing his kids over?





Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
heatherann2
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:56 AM
His kids are 9 months,4 years and 9 years. The baby doesn't fall asleep until 8-9 the court order doesn't say a tune just dates



Quoting audreesmama:

How old are all the kids? 8yo fs still goes to bed at 8. What's the court ordered custody arrangement?





Quoting heatherann2:

Shewants to drop them of between 6-7 so she has more tome to go out. I would like to wait till 8 when mine are asleep. The tine was 730_8 but she always has a reason why it needs to be earlier, to find it she is lying to go to a bar or something. So I figured id give her a scheduled time and be set. Of an emergency comes up and they need to come earlier so be it. But I think 8 pm is a good time







Quoting audreesmama:

What's the co arrangement?









Quoting heatherann2:

I'm asking for her to bring them over at 8 she wants it earlier so she can go out. They are my family and I love those kids, but id prefer to get mine to sleep before hers coffee over. My boyfriend won't let me put histwo oldest to bed, they wait for him to hey home from work. My kids would fight sleep of the two oldest weren't going to sleep as well. It is just easier. He isn't even seeing them till the next morning, if he wakes up with them, of not I'm the one up with all the kids.which is fine I'm an early riser. I'm just wondering if in wrong to ask her to do them off when my kids go to bed, when their dad isn't here, so of have no help with 5 kids











Quoting MamaSnaps:

What's the problem with them coming at 8? They're essentially now your family too and if it's inconvenient, well, that's part of the territory. If you start a routine for their arrival and bed time at the same time and do it consistently you and all of the kids will adjust appropriately. Is it really worth causing troube for him seeing his kids over?











Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
audreesmama
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:56 AM
He needs to go through the courts. If she brings them early and you refuse them for this reason, he can get in a lot of trouble and possibly lose custody.


Quoting heatherann2:

There is no set time in the agreement. Just every other weekend they discuss the time,




Quoting audreesmama:

You just need a routine. What does their CO state? If it says a specific time, that's that. The judge won't change it for you for this reason.





I would set up a routine. Get your kids ready and tucked in, then his kids come over. They go brush their teeth and get Jammies on while you read to your kids. Then you finish tucking them in, say good night. Go get his kids tucked in, read to them and say goodnight.





I have 2 bio kids and four foster kids right now. We thrive on routine, and chaos is the enemy.






Quoting heatherann2:

I meant it as she comes up with reasons why she can get then Back Sunday. Not in a bad way. I'm sorry. I love those kids. But my oldest has behavior problems and I think waiting till my kids go to asleep to have her drop theirs off isn't a bad request. If have 5 kids alone at bed time. Id rather wait till my kids are asleep








Quoting audreesmama:

You 'end up with them'?! They're essentially yours and you are responsible for them. You sound like you have a vendetta against them. Time to stop holding grudges for whatever and figure out to be a mom of 5 or move on to a new man with no kids.




Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
audreesmama
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:57 AM
How old are yours?


Quoting heatherann2:

His kids are 9 months,4 years and 9 years. The baby doesn't fall asleep until 8-9 the court order doesn't say a tune just dates






Quoting audreesmama:

How old are all the kids? 8yo fs still goes to bed at 8. What's the court ordered custody arrangement?








Quoting heatherann2:

Shewants to drop them of between 6-7 so she has more tome to go out. I would like to wait till 8 when mine are asleep. The tine was 730_8 but she always has a reason why it needs to be earlier, to find it she is lying to go to a bar or something. So I figured id give her a scheduled time and be set. Of an emergency comes up and they need to come earlier so be it. But I think 8 pm is a good time










Quoting audreesmama:

What's the co arrangement?












Quoting heatherann2:

I'm asking for her to bring them over at 8 she wants it earlier so she can go out. They are my family and I love those kids, but id prefer to get mine to sleep before hers coffee over. My boyfriend won't let me put histwo oldest to bed, they wait for him to hey home from work. My kids would fight sleep of the two oldest weren't going to sleep as well. It is just easier. He isn't even seeing them till the next morning, if he wakes up with them, of not I'm the one up with all the kids.which is fine I'm an early riser. I'm just wondering if in wrong to ask her to do them off when my kids go to bed, when their dad isn't here, so of have no help with 5 kids














Quoting MamaSnaps:

What's the problem with them coming at 8? They're essentially now your family too and if it's inconvenient, well, that's part of the territory. If you start a routine for their arrival and bed time at the same time and do it consistently you and all of the kids will adjust appropriately. Is it really worth causing troube for him seeing his kids over?

















Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
heatherann2
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:59 AM
I wouldn't refuse them, if they showed up fine. I'm just trying to ask her for 8 pm. Since there is no court ordered time. But again of she said" we will be there at such and such time" id be here for his kids, I just would like to communicate with her.


Quoting audreesmama:

He needs to go through the courts. If she brings them early and you refuse them for this reason, he can get in a lot of trouble and possibly lose custody.




Quoting heatherann2:

There is no set time in the agreement. Just every other weekend they discuss the time,






Quoting audreesmama:

You just need a routine. What does their CO state? If it says a specific time, that's that. The judge won't change it for you for this reason.







I would set up a routine. Get your kids ready and tucked in, then his kids come over. They go brush their teeth and get Jammies on while you read to your kids. Then you finish tucking them in, say good night. Go get his kids tucked in, read to them and say goodnight.







I have 2 bio kids and four foster kids right now. We thrive on routine, and chaos is the enemy.








Quoting heatherann2:

I meant it as she comes up with reasons why she can get then Back Sunday. Not in a bad way. I'm sorry. I love those kids. But my oldest has behavior problems and I think waiting till my kids go to asleep to have her drop theirs off isn't a bad request. If have 5 kids alone at bed time. Id rather wait till my kids are asleep










Quoting audreesmama:

You 'end up with them'?! They're essentially yours and you are responsible for them. You sound like you have a vendetta against them. Time to stop holding grudges for whatever and figure out to be a mom of 5 or move on to a new man with no kids.





Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
heatherann2
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:00 PM
20 months and 3 next month


Quoting audreesmama:

How old are yours?




Quoting heatherann2:

His kids are 9 months,4 years and 9 years. The baby doesn't fall asleep until 8-9 the court order doesn't say a tune just dates









Quoting audreesmama:

How old are all the kids? 8yo fs still goes to bed at 8. What's the court ordered custody arrangement?











Quoting heatherann2:

Shewants to drop them of between 6-7 so she has more tome to go out. I would like to wait till 8 when mine are asleep. The tine was 730_8 but she always has a reason why it needs to be earlier, to find it she is lying to go to a bar or something. So I figured id give her a scheduled time and be set. Of an emergency comes up and they need to come earlier so be it. But I think 8 pm is a good time













Quoting audreesmama:

What's the co arrangement?















Quoting heatherann2:

I'm asking for her to bring them over at 8 she wants it earlier so she can go out. They are my family and I love those kids, but id prefer to get mine to sleep before hers coffee over. My boyfriend won't let me put histwo oldest to bed, they wait for him to hey home from work. My kids would fight sleep of the two oldest weren't going to sleep as well. It is just easier. He isn't even seeing them till the next morning, if he wakes up with them, of not I'm the one up with all the kids.which is fine I'm an early riser. I'm just wondering if in wrong to ask her to do them off when my kids go to bed, when their dad isn't here, so of have no help with 5 kids

















Quoting MamaSnaps:

What's the problem with them coming at 8? They're essentially now your family too and if it's inconvenient, well, that's part of the territory. If you start a routine for their arrival and bed time at the same time and do it consistently you and all of the kids will adjust appropriately. Is it really worth causing troube for him seeing his kids over?























Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Chakita0912
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:01 PM
1 mom liked this

Stick to your guns. Don't let her try and walk all over you. You have kids of your own to worry about and think about. Hope all works out for you. Good luck.

audreesmama
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:02 PM
Ah, okay. I understand. What if she brought them at 4 right after school? That way you can get them adjusted to your house rules. You can get them occupied and in a routine before it's bedtime.

Since the baby is do young, you and your bf haven't been together long, right?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
heatherann2
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:03 PM
Of she would bring them around dinner time to get everyone into a routine that would be something all three of is had to sit down and talk about. And no just since October but I've known him since I was 11.


Quoting audreesmama:

Ah, okay. I understand. What if she brought them at 4 right after school? That way you can get them adjusted to your house rules. You can get them occupied and in a routine before it's bedtime.



Since the baby is do young, you and your bf haven't been together long, right?

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
audreesmama
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:04 PM
Why can't the 2, 3 and 4 year olds all go to bed at the same time? Why can't you ask the 9 year old to watch the baby in exchange for a movie, etc for 15 while you put the others to bed?


Quoting heatherann2:

20 months and 3 next month




Quoting audreesmama:

How old are yours?






Quoting heatherann2:

His kids are 9 months,4 years and 9 years. The baby doesn't fall asleep until 8-9 the court order doesn't say a tune just dates












Quoting audreesmama:

How old are all the kids? 8yo fs still goes to bed at 8. What's the court ordered custody arrangement?














Quoting heatherann2:

Shewants to drop them of between 6-7 so she has more tome to go out. I would like to wait till 8 when mine are asleep. The tine was 730_8 but she always has a reason why it needs to be earlier, to find it she is lying to go to a bar or something. So I figured id give her a scheduled time and be set. Of an emergency comes up and they need to come earlier so be it. But I think 8 pm is a good time
















Quoting audreesmama:

What's the co arrangement?


















Quoting heatherann2:

I'm asking for her to bring them over at 8 she wants it earlier so she can go out. They are my family and I love those kids, but id prefer to get mine to sleep before hers coffee over. My boyfriend won't let me put histwo oldest to bed, they wait for him to hey home from work. My kids would fight sleep of the two oldest weren't going to sleep as well. It is just easier. He isn't even seeing them till the next morning, if he wakes up with them, of not I'm the one up with all the kids.which is fine I'm an early riser. I'm just wondering if in wrong to ask her to do them off when my kids go to bed, when their dad isn't here, so of have no help with 5 kids




















Quoting MamaSnaps:

What's the problem with them coming at 8? They're essentially now your family too and if it's inconvenient, well, that's part of the territory. If you start a routine for their arrival and bed time at the same time and do it consistently you and all of the kids will adjust appropriately. Is it really worth causing troube for him seeing his kids over?





























Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)