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I'm new to this role.*update*

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My boyfriend and I live together and I have two kids and he has 3 kid. We have his every other weekend. Supposed to be Friday to Sunday but we always end up with then till Monday. I watch his the Friday night till he gets home from work. I asked if his kids could get dropped of at 8pm instead of 7 so I could get mine to sleep befits I get more kids in this house. His ex is trying to fight with me about it. I'm helping out by watching them,I don't have to. I think she should understand and stop fighting me. Its either I watch then at 8 or she had to wait till he gets home at 11pm. Any advice'....


Update- 3/22. She dropped the kids off at 5 like planned. Didn't say good bye to the kids or even thank me for changing the time. Just told me the baby should be hungry. I'm not mad that I had to feed him,I love feeding him he eats so well. I'm mad that I Changed my plans, to be home at this tine to shut get up and she couldn't even give me a thank you. Next weekend we have them she can wait until mine go to bed like I had planned on the first place since she can't be polite enough to thank me for canceling plans for her
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by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:29 AM
Replies (21-30):
audreesmama
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:04 PM
Why don't you talk about it?


Quoting heatherann2:

Of she would bring them around dinner time to get everyone into a routine that would be something all three of is had to sit down and talk about. And no just since October but I've known him since I was 11.




Quoting audreesmama:

Ah, okay. I understand. What if she brought them at 4 right after school? That way you can get them adjusted to your house rules. You can get them occupied and in a routine before it's bedtime.





Since the baby is do young, you and your bf haven't been together long, right?


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heatherann2
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:05 PM
He wants me to let his 4 year old stay up and wait for him. He says they don't need early need times on weekends.


Quoting audreesmama:

Why can't the 2, 3 and 4 year olds all go to bed at the same time? Why can't you ask the 9 year old to watch the baby in exchange for a movie, etc for 15 while you put the others to bed?




Quoting heatherann2:

20 months and 3 next month






Quoting audreesmama:

How old are yours?








Quoting heatherann2:

His kids are 9 months,4 years and 9 years. The baby doesn't fall asleep until 8-9 the court order doesn't say a tune just dates















Quoting audreesmama:

How old are all the kids? 8yo fs still goes to bed at 8. What's the court ordered custody arrangement?

















Quoting heatherann2:

Shewants to drop them of between 6-7 so she has more tome to go out. I would like to wait till 8 when mine are asleep. The tine was 730_8 but she always has a reason why it needs to be earlier, to find it she is lying to go to a bar or something. So I figured id give her a scheduled time and be set. Of an emergency comes up and they need to come earlier so be it. But I think 8 pm is a good time



















Quoting audreesmama:

What's the co arrangement?





















Quoting heatherann2:

I'm asking for her to bring them over at 8 she wants it earlier so she can go out. They are my family and I love those kids, but id prefer to get mine to sleep before hers coffee over. My boyfriend won't let me put histwo oldest to bed, they wait for him to hey home from work. My kids would fight sleep of the two oldest weren't going to sleep as well. It is just easier. He isn't even seeing them till the next morning, if he wakes up with them, of not I'm the one up with all the kids.which is fine I'm an early riser. I'm just wondering if in wrong to ask her to do them off when my kids go to bed, when their dad isn't here, so of have no help with 5 kids























Quoting MamaSnaps:

What's the problem with them coming at 8? They're essentially now your family too and if it's inconvenient, well, that's part of the territory. If you start a routine for their arrival and bed time at the same time and do it consistently you and all of the kids will adjust appropriately. Is it really worth causing troube for him seeing his kids over?



































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heatherann2
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:06 PM
1 mom liked this
I will thank you


Quoting audreesmama:

Why don't you talk about it?




Quoting heatherann2:

Of she would bring them around dinner time to get everyone into a routine that would be something all three of is had to sit down and talk about. And no just since October but I've known him since I was 11.






Quoting audreesmama:

Ah, okay. I understand. What if she brought them at 4 right after school? That way you can get them adjusted to your house rules. You can get them occupied and in a routine before it's bedtime.







Since the baby is do young, you and your bf haven't been together long, right?



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audreesmama
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:06 PM
They need routine. What time does he get home?
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heatherann2
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:07 PM
Varies from 10pm to 1 am


Quoting audreesmama:

They need routine. What time does he get home?

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audreesmama
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:12 PM
1 mom liked this
That's selfish. Kids need routine. I would put them to bed earlier and if he doesn't like it, he and baby mama can figure it out.


Quoting heatherann2:

Varies from 10pm to 1 am




Quoting audreesmama:

They need routine. What time does he get home?


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heatherann2
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:24 PM
1 mom liked this
I just told him we needed to sit down and talk with her and figure things out


Quoting audreesmama:

That's selfish. Kids need routine. I would put them to bed earlier and if he doesn't like it, he and baby mama can figure it out.




Quoting heatherann2:

Varies from 10pm to 1 am






Quoting audreesmama:

They need routine. What time does he get home?



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MamaSnaps
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 1:18 PM

How about a simple "I'm sorry, I won't be there until 8pm on Friday's." The end. 

heatherann2
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 1:25 PM
I've tried that, it makes them fight


Quoting MamaSnaps:

How about a simple "I'm sorry, I won't be there until 8pm on Friday's." The end. 


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MamaSnaps
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 1:34 PM

Why does he bother to fight with her? All he has to say is "there's nothing I can do. heatherann2 has to be somewhere on friday's and can't be here until 8." The end. Let her throw a tantrum all she wants. If he continues to argue with her she's won. It's like a two year old. If you argue and beg them to stop throwing a tantrum, then finally give in and give them the candy they want they aren't going to stop throwing tantrums. There is no reason to! It gets them what they want. If you put them in time out and ignore the tantrum you teach them that their tantrums aren't going get them what they want. She knows her tantrums will get her what she wants.

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