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2 year old and time outs

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 9:40 PM
  • 13 Replies

I have an almost 2yo DS (my first) and we have never done time outs yet (never really had the need he was always a good listener).  So my question is how do you start the time outs when you've never done them before?  Where do you put a 2yo and get him to stay put and know he is in time out?  

I know if I put him in a chair and say you are in time out he will just keep screaming and jump out of the chair.  Is it just a matter of continuously putting him back in the chair until the time-out is over?  Or do you just ignore them while they are throwing the fit and that is considered the "time-out".

Any advice would be appreciated!!!

by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 9:40 PM
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frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 9:59 PM

You give one warning  Listen to mommy or you will go to time out, when he does the undesirable action again, you take him by the hand to whereever you want time out spot to be.  You get down on his level and speak in a firm, low voice to explain why he was put into time out.   You set timer for 2 minutes (one minute per year of age). If he gets out of the spot, you calmly put him back and start the timer again.  If he is yelling, ignore him since he is just trying to gain your attention.   I would pick a spot where there is nothing within reach for him to hurt himself or others.   This could take a few days to a few weeks of consistent consequences for him to understand mommy is in charge.  Once he is able to sit for the whole 2 minutes, you go back and again explain in a low, firm voice why he was placed in time out.  He needs to give you a hug and then you move on with your day.   Do not add time to time out each time since he did whatever again.  That is not what time out is for.

Zazayam
by Bronze Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 3:07 AM

Exactly this :)

I have a quiet corner that I put a chair in, nothing to mess around with and if they can't sit nicely in the chair then they can sit or stand there. I think 1 min for each year is the pretty standard time for time outs.

Quoting frndlyfn:

You give one warning  Listen to mommy or you will go to time out, when he does the undesirable action again, you take him by the hand to whereever you want time out spot to be.  You get down on his level and speak in a firm, low voice to explain why he was put into time out.   You set timer for 2 minutes (one minute per year of age). If he gets out of the spot, you calmly put him back and start the timer again.  If he is yelling, ignore him since he is just trying to gain your attention.   I would pick a spot where there is nothing within reach for him to hurt himself or others.   This could take a few days to a few weeks of consistent consequences for him to understand mommy is in charge.  Once he is able to sit for the whole 2 minutes, you go back and again explain in a low, firm voice why he was placed in time out.  He needs to give you a hug and then you move on with your day.   Do not add time to time out each time since he did whatever again.  That is not what time out is for.


vlr4x4
by Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 1:19 PM

Great!  Thank you for the advice we will see how it goes  :)

aurora.dove
by Bronze Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 1:26 PM

This. As far as where to put him that's up to you. It can be in a quite corner, a chair designated for time out, etc. I use the rocker glider that's in his room from when he was an infant. I don't recommend using his bed for a time out though because he may associate the bed with bad behavior and feel he's being punished when he's being put to bed for nap or bedtime.

Quoting frndlyfn:

You give one warning  Listen to mommy or you will go to time out, when he does the undesirable action again, you take him by the hand to whereever you want time out spot to be.  You get down on his level and speak in a firm, low voice to explain why he was put into time out.   You set timer for 2 minutes (one minute per year of age). If he gets out of the spot, you calmly put him back and start the timer again.  If he is yelling, ignore him since he is just trying to gain your attention.   I would pick a spot where there is nothing within reach for him to hurt himself or others.   This could take a few days to a few weeks of consistent consequences for him to understand mommy is in charge.  Once he is able to sit for the whole 2 minutes, you go back and again explain in a low, firm voice why he was placed in time out.  He needs to give you a hug and then you move on with your day.   Do not add time to time out each time since he did whatever again.  That is not what time out is for.


atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 1:32 PM
They get out you put them back over and over if it takes an hour to stay 2 minutes. They have to know you mean business.
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Kitschy
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 1:35 PM

I've always placed my child on the stairs and started the timer. I tell them why they have a time out. When it's over I say "I gave you a time out because _______ if you do this again you will receive another time out. Do you understand? Then we kiss the kid says they are sorry and I tell them I love them. We say the exact same thing each time. The first time I gave me son a time out I think he got up twice. My daughter is almost 5 and she has never even considered leaving a time out. lol I just put them back, don't make eye contact and walk away.

lovinmama411
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 1:35 PM

I've always found a chair or rug to be distracting and cause an issue. I pick out a place for them to sit where it is just the floor they are sitting on and nothing in their reach. Just make sure you put them in the same place. I attached a timer to the wall above the time out section and I would start the timer when I put them in time out. If they get up, the timer starts over. If they are just crying or throwing a fit in the floor but they are not getting up, I just ignore them. If they get up, put them back. Over and over. Sometimes it may take an hour for a two minute time out, but eventually he will understand as long as you are persistant and consistent. It can very effective.

frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 1:52 PM
1 mom liked this

When dd was this young we used the corner of couch for her time out spot, then moved it to where she sat on floor by coat closet.


Quoting aurora.dove:

This. As far as where to put him that's up to you. It can be in a quite corner, a chair designated for time out, etc. I use the rocker glider that's in his room from when he was an infant. I don't recommend using his bed for a time out though because he may associate the bed with bad behavior and feel he's being punished when he's being put to bed for nap or bedtime.

Quoting frndlyfn:

You give one warning  Listen to mommy or you will go to time out, when he does the undesirable action again, you take him by the hand to whereever you want time out spot to be.  You get down on his level and speak in a firm, low voice to explain why he was put into time out.   You set timer for 2 minutes (one minute per year of age). If he gets out of the spot, you calmly put him back and start the timer again.  If he is yelling, ignore him since he is just trying to gain your attention.   I would pick a spot where there is nothing within reach for him to hurt himself or others.   This could take a few days to a few weeks of consistent consequences for him to understand mommy is in charge.  Once he is able to sit for the whole 2 minutes, you go back and again explain in a low, firm voice why he was placed in time out.  He needs to give you a hug and then you move on with your day.   Do not add time to time out each time since he did whatever again.  That is not what time out is for.




aurora.dove
by Bronze Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 2:03 PM

That's a good idea too. I wasn't trying to go against what you said or anything, was mostly just quoting to add to what you had said since she asked where should she put him for time out. Your advice is exactly right IMO.

Quoting frndlyfn:

When dd was this young we used the corner of couch for her time out spot, then moved it to where she sat on floor by coat closet.


Quoting aurora.dove:

This. As far as where to put him that's up to you. It can be in a quite corner, a chair designated for time out, etc. I use the rocker glider that's in his room from when he was an infant. I don't recommend using his bed for a time out though because he may associate the bed with bad behavior and feel he's being punished when he's being put to bed for nap or bedtime.

Quoting frndlyfn:

You give one warning  Listen to mommy or you will go to time out, when he does the undesirable action again, you take him by the hand to whereever you want time out spot to be.  You get down on his level and speak in a firm, low voice to explain why he was put into time out.   You set timer for 2 minutes (one minute per year of age). If he gets out of the spot, you calmly put him back and start the timer again.  If he is yelling, ignore him since he is just trying to gain your attention.   I would pick a spot where there is nothing within reach for him to hurt himself or others.   This could take a few days to a few weeks of consistent consequences for him to understand mommy is in charge.  Once he is able to sit for the whole 2 minutes, you go back and again explain in a low, firm voice why he was placed in time out.  He needs to give you a hug and then you move on with your day.   Do not add time to time out each time since he did whatever again.  That is not what time out is for.





vlr4x4
by Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 2:28 PM

So far today has been fine, I would say maybe once a week -once every 2 weeks his tantrum gets out of hand enough to warrant a time out for the most part I can redirect him and stop the fit.  

The biggest issue we are having the last 2 weeks or so is every time we go up to my mom and dad's house as soon as we get there he starts getting very demanding to them.  He wants this he wants that and has a meltdown if I say no and just can't get over it.  I hate to say it but if he keeps this up we are going to have to start leaving when he does this.  I'm not going to let him think when we go to grandma's he gets to call the shots.  

Anybody ever have to give timeouts at other people's houses?  Not sure how we would handle that other than just leaving.

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