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Help!! my 5 year old daughters behavior is out of control

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Im a 33 year old mom, I have 2 daughters, 9 and 5. My 5 year old is OUT of CONTROL. She's always been wild, but I blamed it on being a toddler; now that she's getting a little older its not changing. There are times I dread picking her up after work and I almost refuse to take her in a store, because she runs all over the store, through the parking lot, etc. My husband works in the car business so he's at work a lot, he stays home with her the one day a week he's off and at the end of the day he is so frustrated with her that he just wants to get away from her. I LOVE my children, but can't stand the feeling of not wanting to be around my 5 year old after work and the weekends. She hits, kicks, calls names, cusses (I don't cuss around my kids, but my husband slips up), tortures the animals, doesn't listen to anything or do what she's told, wont sit in timeout and I have had it! She doesn't lack attention, she's slept with us since the day she was born (my fault, because my sister had a baby that died from SIDS); now she refuses to sleep in her bed. Its almost like she has anxiety because if shes out of our site or we put her in her room she freaks out. She screams, throws fits and won't tell you why. Today for example, I was going to take the girls to an arcade; we went to have breakfast first and her behavior was so bad I had to take away the arcade privilege. I feel awful, because my 9 year old then missed out too, but I couldn't reward her for bad behavior, so my oldest gets mad at her sister. I'm terrified for when she starts Kindergarten. She's not always perfect for her child care provider, but she does better than she does with us. She was always late walking, crawling and meeting certain milestones. I've even heard people say "there is something wrong with that child"...but there isn't anything visibly wrong. I've contacted her pediatrician and they've referred us to a psychologist who no longer sees children. Im scared to take her, because i don't want her on meds. I'm now just wondering if there is something more going on with her; if she'll still outgrow this or what. I've never had these issues with my 9 year old. HELP!!
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by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 2:35 PM
Replies (41-42):
lidibolton
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 8:29 AM
1 mom liked this

My son worried me, and I did take him to see the psych. She was very nice and worked with me, and gave me tips to diverge his destuctive behavior. If you communicate that meds are the last thing you want to do then they do listen and most are in the same boat. The psych. can analyze by asking specific behavioral questions like when does she do this, is it only during this time, and have an easier time finding the source or the thing that sparks that behavior. I read a few of the replies and without consistent discipline it will just get worse. This was part of my problem for my 6 year old. I moved in with my grandma n mom in June (I know have my own place). there were no set rules per se I'd try to correct my kids and my mom n grandma would try to jump in to. There was no structure which in turn frustrated my kids. I mean wouldnt you get upset if you were being yelled at 3 times by different people for the same offense.


Oh and one thing the psych. we went to see said was trying to correct during times where they are super acting out and mad obviously isnt always going to work, because think of when you are super angry about something, is someone telling you to calm down in the middle of your rampage really the thing you wanna hear at that point? no you typically tune it out and need a cool down period. if you try a specific discipline stick to it for at least of month or 2 before considering switching methods.

Dlunsford
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 10:05 PM
Quoting lidibolton:

My son worried me, and I did take him to see the psych. She was very nice and worked with me, and gave me tips to diverge his destuctive behavior. If you communicate that meds are the last thing you want to do then they do listen and most are in the same boat. The psych. can analyze by asking specific behavioral questions like when does she do this, is it only during this time, and have an easier time finding the source or the thing that sparks that behavior. I read a few of the replies and without consistent discipline it will just get worse. This was part of my problem for my 6 year old. I moved in with my grandma n mom in June (I know have my own place). there were no set rules per se I'd try to correct my kids and my mom n grandma would try to jump in to. There was no structure which in turn frustrated my kids. I mean wouldnt you get upset if you were being yelled at 3 times by different people for the same offense.

Oh and one thing the psych. we went to see said was trying to correct during times where they are super acting out and mad obviously isnt always going to work, because think of when you are super angry about something, is someone telling you to calm down in the middle of your rampage really the thing you wanna hear at that point? no you typically tune it out and need a cool down period. if you try a specific discipline stick to it for at least of month or 2 before considering switching methods.




Thank you! Yes, that would be tough having numerous people telling your child what to do! She does so good for her child care provider and when my mom keeps her. Like my mom said though, it's her daycare providers job to focus on the kids 100% and my mom doesn't keep her all the time so when she does its all about the kids. Us on the other hand, we have another child, a house to keep up, animals and sometimes after work we are just plain out exhausted. My daughter doesn't ever have rages or get into angry fits. It's almost like she's carefree and doesn't have a concern in the world....it's definitely worse in public than at home....maybe I put too much into it thinking everyone is watching my child being wild. It's easy to tell the parents that have been there bc they laugh and love it while the others are completely judgmental!
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