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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

He's never had a committed relationship but he's going through divorce #3

Posted by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:42 PM
  • 17 Replies

It hit me last night-while speaking with my fiance, I asked him a series of questions. Whenever I speak to him about any of his past relationships, he's tried to shut me down, but this time I needed answers. I was pretty sure from the way he talked about his first wife, he was more concerned about how she looked in lingerie and married her (he was USAF), so I guessed (correctly) they hadn't really known each other very long. His second wife (and mother of his dd) he had only known her for eight months prior to marrying her. I think the major contributing factor in their marriage breaking down was the beginnings of PTSD (he was in Desert Storm). His last wife was WAY too young and immature-and he admitted that it was more about having sex than anything else.


I then thought of something, and asked him if he had a serious relationship with ANYONE prior to being married-and he said no. Then it hit me-THAT IS THE  PROBLEM!


I told him that I am not backing out of the engagement, but we really need to work on him to understand what it truly means to be in a committed relationship. Everything I've thought of so far has been juvenile though-he's 48 and I'm 41. So any advice would be greatly appreciated.

by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:45 PM
3 moms liked this
I would never be with someone married so many times.
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momma2b2008
by Bronze Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:45 PM
1 mom liked this
Run! And run fast!
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LilliesValley
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:48 PM
Glad you realised this before you got married. I think it would be a no go for me run OB the complete other direction but its your life.
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Kylie819
by Bronze Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:50 PM


Quoting momma2b2008:

Run! And run fast!
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erinsmom1964
by Gold Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 10:55 PM

I am going to be blunt.  how the heck at 41 do you get yourself into such a mess?  Break of the engagement and get some counseling to find out why you think so little of yourself that THIS is what you would accept.  

sabrtooth1
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 10:59 PM
1 mom liked this
You're engaged and he's not even divorced yet? So you know he's a cheater. You deserve him.
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scorpiobabes
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 2:23 PM

I came here for advice, not to be criticized like this. Not one of any of you know me, my circumstances, or even tried one iota to offer advice. It's no wonder that I don't get along with women when they act like this!!! Thanks for nothing.

JeremysMom
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 2:47 PM


Quoting scorpiobabes:

I came here for advice, not to be criticized like this. Not one of any of you know me, my circumstances, or even tried one iota to offer advice. It's no wonder that I don't get along with women when they act like this!!! Thanks for nothing.

All of them gave you great advice. Run and don't look back. If you don't want to listen to their advice, then that is on you.

SassyMom25
by Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 2:51 PM
So how long have you been together? This is stuff I would have wanted to know before getting engaged.

I don't think that you can understand the importance of a long-term relationship, without ever being in one, IMO.
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SnapIt
by Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 2:54 PM
I say take that break
He seems like hes just settling with what makes him comfortable
Almost like he thinks thats what he should do.
Have any of these women forced him to get married?
I can see that if he were younger.
Maybe hes been raised to think that the right thing to do is to marry the woman hes with or it looks bad.

Youre doing the right thing and i would ask more questions about his feelings and goals for the both of you as far as relationship goes.
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