He's never had a committed relationship but he's going through divorce #3
It hit me last night-while speaking with my fiance, I asked him a series of questions. Whenever I speak to him about any of his past relationships, he's tried to shut me down, but this time I needed answers. I was pretty sure from the way he talked about his first wife, he was more concerned about how she looked in lingerie and married her (he was USAF), so I guessed (correctly) they hadn't really known each other very long. His second wife (and mother of his dd) he had only known her for eight months prior to marrying her. I think the major contributing factor in their marriage breaking down was the beginnings of PTSD (he was in Desert Storm). His last wife was WAY too young and immature-and he admitted that it was more about having sex than anything else.
I then thought of something, and asked him if he had a serious relationship with ANYONE prior to being married-and he said no. Then it hit me-THAT IS THE PROBLEM!
I told him that I am not backing out of the engagement, but we really need to work on him to understand what it truly means to be in a committed relationship. Everything I've thought of so far has been juvenile though-he's 48 and I'm 41. So any advice would be greatly appreciated.