Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Roommate is enforcing her 3 year old not sharing. Advice?

Posted by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 3:18 PM
  • 80 Replies
Hi, I am new here and in need advice. I share an apartment with another woman and her two kids (for story sake, we will call them Goldie, 1 and Sadie, 3). The problem is that I feel that she enforces Sadie's unwillingness to share. The general rule of thumb here is that anything you don't want to share is kept in the bedrooms, but anything brought into the common areas is fair game, at least that is how it is suppose to be. Foxglove, my 2 year old frequently brings toys out and does share them, but she is 2 and sometimes isn't so great with the concept. When my daughter refuses to share her toys,I encourage her to try, however my roommate will flip out and yell at her and demand that she give her children the toy or will take it from her and give it to her kids. On one occasion, my daughter brought home a balloon tied to her arm that her doctor gave her after getting shots and Sadie tackled her trying to snatch the balloon and my roommate told Foxglove to give the balloon to Sadie and when she refuses, my roommate took it from her and gave it to Sadie. My daughter tried to take it back, so my roommate took the balloon and popped in front of her and told her she needed to learn to share or she couldn't have it at all. On the flip side, if her kids bring toys out and Foxglove tries to play with them, my roommate will take them from her and say that the toy is her child's even if the toy was unattended. I've tried talking to her about this, but she basically tells me to shut up and walks away. It has now gotten to the point that Safie will take things out of my daughter's room and my roommate won't even acknowledge it or give it back for several days. What should I do?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 3:18 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
illinoismommy83
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 3:20 PM
4 moms liked this

Lock your door when not home. You can get an indoor door locking handle with a key from the hardware store for less than $20. Then tell your roommate that it would probably work best if the kids just stopped sharing such its such a problem. Then enforce the no sharing concept.

LuvingMy3Girls
by Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 3:23 PM
6 moms liked this
Move. Sorry that's a horrible environment. Some women can't see anything negative there child does
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
CotterpinDoozer
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 3:24 PM
2 moms liked this

If you try and talk to her about it and she tells you to shut up and walks away, I'd follow her. I'd tell her no you will NOT shut up and keep talking. Don't let her end the conversation just because she doesn't like being told she's wrong. If takes your daughter's toys and gives it to hers and she does this in front of you, then snatches it away, take it back and speak to your daughter say "We share, we don't snatch things. Can you share this toy?" Don't let her take things from your daughter. No your daughter DOES NOT have to give her daughter toys to play with if she does not want to. Who does she think she is? If she takes things out of her room, bring them back. Let your roommate get pissed. YOU be the mature one, don't let her walk all over you stand up for yourself and more importantly, your daughter. Is there anyway you can start looking for another living arrangement?


MommyRainicorn
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 3:37 PM
I've thought about having her removed from the lease since I am actually the person paying the rent. She was staying in a shelter and I invited her to live with us, so her kids wouldn't have to be homeless. That's my holdback honestly. She has very little income and would have no where to go. I care about her kids.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
MommyRainicorn
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 3:53 PM
I also wanted to add that it has gotten to the point that my mom will not let my daughter take stuff she buys her home for fear she will not get to play with it. She has witnessed this issue and was also with us when I was wrapping my daughter's presents for her upcoming birthday and overheard her commenting on how much her kids are going to love playing with the new toys.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 3:55 PM
She is doing a disservice to her child. You make them share. She will have a huge horrible brat on her hands one day down the road, worse than now.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
firespurity
by Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 3:58 PM
2 moms liked this
That woman sounds unstable... I think it would be best to remove her from the lease.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 3:59 PM
2 moms liked this

All these ages arent so good at sharing so that is common but the fact that the mother has never apparently learned this concept is sad to me.  An adult should never take an object from a child when it is clearly the child's possession.  I am guessing her homelessness is part of the problem but no excuse.  I would tell her shape up or you will be kicked out of my residence.

silverdawn99
by Bronze Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 4:00 PM
Move out
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
A.J.s_mommy
by Bronze Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 4:04 PM
Move out. Why would you let her take something from your child and give it to hers?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN