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ADHD & Other Behavior Disorders (PIOG)

Posted by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 11:19 AM
  • 11 Replies
So my daughter was diagnosed. With ADHD and ODD. (oppositional defiant disorder).Both the doctor and I decided to try methods other than medication to control it because she is still very young. She will begin therapy soon and i guess we will be starting a new structured schedule. However, I was wondering what may have worked for someone else. Some days, I honestly want to pull my hair out. And other days, its depressing because I feel that I do more punishing than anything else.Any advice, suggestions, or whatevet you may have would be helpful.Thanks in advance.
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by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 11:19 AM
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Replies (1-10):
kali_mom
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:05 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't have any children with ADHD or ODD however they can all make you want to pull your hair out at times. How about a google search of tools other parents have used to deal with their children. The consistency you give will be beneficial and appreciated you just may not be able to tell it right now. Once you begin therapy pick the brains of those who you will be in contact with. You sound like a very caring Mom and only want the best for your child. Hang in there!
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AromaDrops33
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:16 PM
I've had 6 customers tell me the essential oils I've recommended to them to help their children with this has been a life changer. If you'd like more info on specific oils feel free to message me :)
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pixxydust
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:17 PM
I would love info on oils please
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silverdawn99
by Bronze Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 2:40 PM
I have a son with add and we have him on strattera and lexapro. He is also in therapy
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la_bella_vita
by Gold Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 2:55 PM

 Bump

Bleacheddecay
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 4:21 PM

My girl has ADHD. She hasn't been diagnosed with ODD but I swear she will (when she is herself, she's been through a big trauma and is not herself lately), argue anything, endlessly. Plus I think she figures out my stance on something just so she can argue the opposite.

I had to just let a lot of stuff go with her. I had to pick my battles and keep strong boundaries and clear behavior expectations. I also had to leave her alone when she was upset. Everything I did to comfort her just ramped her up more.

Eventually we did start on drugs and I so wish we'd done so sooner.

DarlaHood
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 5:14 PM

ODD is very serious because if not properly treated it can lead to more extreme conduct disorders.  Harsh punishment based methods don't generally work well with kids with behavioral disorders involving impulse control.  If a child can't stop to predict the consequences of her behavior, then the consequence is not effective in shaping better behavior.  it only leaves the child feeling frustrated and angry.  ODD already has elements of anger.  The therapist will work on that.

The most important thing you can do is to be very calm and very consistent.  I recommend you get a book called, Have a New Kid by Friday.  http://www.amazon.com/Have-New-Kid-Friday-Character/dp/0800732189

I don't think you will turn this around in a week, but the book is very good as it helps you to reflect on behaviors and current methods, and then gives very simple instructions to follow to avoid power struggles and give incentive for better behavior.  If you actually do it, the tools are invaluable.

You definitely want to shift to privilege based systems rather than punishment.  For example, if your child is expected to get dressed without arguing, the punishment based method would be to impose a time out or take something away if it's not done.  The privilege based method would say, if you get dressed without arguing, then you can have 10 minutes to watch cartoons before we go.  If she argues, you don't engage. Just make a note in front of her that she is arguing and throwing tantrums while she's supposed to be getting dressed. You ignore.  And when she wants to watch cartoons, you say, no cartoons because you argued.  But tomorrow you will have another chance to earn the privilege of cartoon time.

It obviously doesn't have to be cartoons.  It can be any privilege that she values.  It could be choosing her clothes the next day (from 3 choices you give her).  But it cannot be a bribe type of reward.  No trips to toys r us or payoffs.  Only the normal priveleges of daily life that she enjoys and takes for granted.

LoreleiSieja
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 9:15 PM
1 mom liked this

I had a nephew who was diagnosed with the same two things - ADHD and ODD.  He resented the years that he did receive medication, as they didn't help him at all.  he says he felt like life was lived under a haze, that the mediation affected his ability to concentrate, or to think clearly.  

When he wanted OFF the medication, he took up body-building.  He found that tiring exercise helped him to burn off excess energy, allowing him to concentrate in school.  He also found that prayer and meditation (not medication) helped him to control his otherwise impulsive behavior.

I should mention that he is very bright and makes the honor roll most of the time.  Why teachers usually call adhd a learning disability, I don't know, because many adhd kids are very bright!  I think that many of them just are extra wiggly and need more physical activity in their life.  

ADHD kids would do well to join gymnastics, or wrestling, or karate or body building.  Soccer isn't such a good choice, because it involves rules and getting along with teammates, when adhd kids really just need to LET OFF steam, not create more tension.  

ADHD and ODD children do fantastic when put on a restrictive diet - NO SUGAR, ever.  No preservatives.  No chemicals or toxins in their diet.  This may be the hardest thing for YOU to do at first, but you could see a complete turn around in your child if you follow through.  Feed her only fresh fruits and vegetables (frozen is acceptable when not in season, but never canned.)  Fresh meats you cook yourseslf, but never fast food meats, never pre-cooked and packaged foods from the grocery store.  Fresh milk and dairy products, but only without added colors, dyes, or preservatives (many cheeses won't make it.)  To learn more about this style of eating, you can google "raw foods", but you can cook your foods.  It's just that the raw foodists can help you learn what is safe to eat, and what is not. 

Finally, many children do very very well, with sensory therapy.  I'm sure of the exact name, but I tried this for my daughter.  She wasn't willing to work with it - but she is quite a bit older than your daughter.  Some children seem to have "missed" something when they were growing up, it's like their senses aren't fine tuned, or they don't trust their senses.  You can tell if this is an issue for your child, if she startles at loud noises - more than normal.  If she hates to be touched, or has very sensitive skin and won't wear certain fabrics because of how they feel.  Maybe she hates to wear shoes, or refuses to ever go barefoot.  Maybe she is an extremely picky eater, but maybe it isn't the way food tastes - maybe it's how the food FEELS in her mouth - maybe she only  likes smooth textured foods - like mashed potatoes or applesauce.  

Sensory therapy helps children to experience things with their senses, to relearn a step they must have missed.  It takes time and patience, but they may learn to accept other textures in their food, or other fabrics in their wardrobe.  They may become somewhat "desensitized" to loud noises.  They may learn to like being hugged, at least once in a while.  

Good luck!  And keep looking for the right answers for your child.  Don't accept what anyone tells you if it "feels wrong".  You are the best judge of your child's issues... and the only champion your child has.

I'll end with a positive note.  There was a time when i worried that my nephew might grow up to be a criminal.  His behavior was so out of control.  In middle school, he HIT his mom and gave her a black eye!  (while on medication).  But he got himself off the medication, got into body building, as I mentioned above, graduated with honors, got into the military, and served our nation for five years in Afghanistan.  He was honorably discharged, and went to college.  He even has some stories published.  He is a delightful young man!  

Just so you know... there is a future for your daughter.

liliem
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 3:06 PM
2 moms liked this

DO NOT PUT HER ON MEDICATION!!!!!  I changed my son's diet first (got all processed junk out, anything with Yellow #5, Red 40, etc. and more organics), got him to bed earlier at night (8:30pm until this year - he's 12) and we did yoga - (check out the powerbrainedu.com - you can buy the book or something, I learned how to teach it but you can probably find some of the techniques they use, its basically stretching, left-brain right brain games you do with your body, relaxation (sleeping tiger posture) and then energy mediation). I did this cause I teach it and I would make my son come to the classes of course. He was on an IEP also from 1st to 4th without a diagnosis so you can get her an aide that stays with her and helps redirect her, gives her breaks, etc. My and the school met once a month to put plans in place and alter as needed, as well as evaluate. We gave him props so that he can hold and squeeze something etc. so he can pay attention in class. Now he's fine, never medication. He also had salad (spinach) the other night.. My jaw dropped, I couldn't believe it. He hated salad his whole life. Anyway, he's doing great but I still have problems getting him to want to do homework and finish it entirely and caring about his grades. But he's getting better with that too (I think this has more to do with starting middle school - its like high school here). That's just my advice from someone who went through it. BTW... my son was punching and kicking teachers, running out the classroom, threatening to blow up the school and kill himself, I had them call CPS on me twice, and they wanted to send him to a special school. Except my son was an angel with me and only did this at school. Maybe she can use counseling, but I would do that to my son because I knew him better than anyone and I took matters into my own hands. Also, i changed in order for my son to change as well. I took a good look in the mirror and became the mom he needed. Also check out AHA! Parenting - http://www.ahaparenting.com   GREAT ADVICE!!!!!

partingwhisper
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 3:50 PM

I am sure you already was asked this, but how old is your daughter? ODD usually cannot be properly diagnosed till the child is in at least regular day care , usually not till full day kinder. ADHD simply cannot be properly diagnosed by a dr worth his weight in training before the child is in a school setting. I hope you will go and get a second and third opinion before making any decisions on therapy, behavior therapy and medications. Meds cannot be tested in children so there is no real knowledge on possible long term harm from many ADHD and ODD meds used to help control behaviors. You can PM me anytime about this. I have a son with PDD NOS in the autism spectrum and a quack dr tried to tell us he was ADHD before he was in early head start. total moron and harmful dr for those who simply just trust one dr's advice and diagnosis. I took my son to 3 different and highly recognized professionals with children's delays etc before making a move on choosing therapy or meds. 

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