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My teen wants to go on road trip

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My 17 year old daughter wants to take a day long road trip with her 21 year old boyfriend whom she has been seeing for several months now. He is a good guy, I've met his parents, he is military and respectful to myself and my husband. ( otherwise a 21 year old bf would be out of the question) however, it is 4 hours to the destination where he has a medical appt and then a day of sight seeing and then a 4 hour drive back. I'm a worrier by nature (extreme) and I want to say no but they are good kids, she works hard in school and its spring break  now and outside of my debilitating worry over a car wreck or something, I can offer no reason she shouldn't go. Can anyone else? Is it wrong to let her go so young? I just don't know!

by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:49 PM
Replies (41-49):
by Member on Mar. 29, 2013 at 1:24 PM

I would not. When our daughter was 17 she tried pulling that "I want to date a 21 year old" eh no!! At 17 she was a junior in high school and had no business messing with someone that age. She needed to focus on her studies. 

She's your daughter. Do what feels right to you. 

by Bronze Member on Mar. 29, 2013 at 1:26 PM
You lost me at 17 and 21,
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by Member on Mar. 29, 2013 at 6:46 PM
Is there a cell number u can get a hold to see how things are going an let them know if they both feel tired to pull over an take a cat nap an since its a day trip it sounds good
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by Linda on Mar. 29, 2013 at 8:19 PM

My 17yo daughter planned, paid for and went to London and Glasgow (and Stratford-on-Avon, and Bath and Edinborough) by herself... so you can probably guess what my answer will be.

by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 8:34 PM

If she's 17, you need to know if she can handle herself well on her own before she actually goes off to college or moves out.  You only have a year for both you and her to learn whether she is savy, or whether she has things she needs to learn.  Trust in her, she might really surprise you.  There isn't any reason to go that is about her.  This is really more about you I think.  I can sympathize, my 18-yr-old dd went off to college 400 miles away in Sept. 

But I will say that we slowly allowed her to be more and more independent for the couple of years prior.  As she handled each situation, she was allowed a little more freedom.  When she did go off to school, we felt she was ready and could handle it.  She had a track record of being responsible and smart.  So far, she has chosen really great friends at school.  She has brought friends home this spring break, and they stayed at our house, which allowed us to get to know them even better.  And she has kept her head and gotten involved with constructive activities.  She requested a dorm room change because her original roomies were big partiers, and it began to cause problems for her as she was trying to study.  Maybe your daughter will surprise you!

by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 8:43 PM

I just saw that the trip was taken and it went well.  I'm happy for you.  I also saw your post that she doesn't want you to be involved with her gyno decisions.  That's o.k. too.  probably means that she either is on birth control or plans to be.  I will just say that my dd had terrible side-effects with the Depo shot.  I don't recommend it based on my dd's experience.  The pill can be a challenge, although I always just kept mine with my toothbrush.  Never go out without brushing my teeth!  Easy to remember if I have to move my pills to get to my toothbrush.  And both of my dd's love the Nuva Ring.  My college-age dd just sets an alarm on her phone to take it out once a month, and put a new one in once a month.  And if she wants to put the new one in early because she has an event where a period would be inconvenient, the doc said she could.

Even if she doesn't want to give you information, you can still give her information.  Educate yourself and don't let anything stop you from educating her!

Quoting kartmom67:

Quoting sabrtooth1:

Quoting atlmom2:

17 and 21, probably not. What does a 21 yo want with a 17 yo??

I would NOT have let my dds go, but then again, I did not let my girls have bf's that much older than them.  I hope you have her on BC, got her the Guardisil shots, and taught her how to use condoms, or you will be a grandmother,  and have a daughter with HPV.  Have you READ any of the posts on Cafemom?

I have tried getting her to take the pill or the shot and she refuses. In fact, did you know it's federal law that we as parents have no right to our children's medical records when they are over the age of 16? She went to the Gyno at my urging but refuses to let me know what any of her test results are. And the Drs office won't tell me, stating that it is a HIPPA violation since she didn't consent to me seeing the results. Pretty frustrating! Yes, I'm terrified every day that I will become a grandparent. But I can do nothing. My hands are tied. Her boyfriend is a decent guy so the age gap didn't bother me as much. The guys who were her age were terrible losers so I had to pick between age and decency. I chose decency. We've had trouble with her severe rebellion before so I'm trying to meet her halfway on things. It is pretty maddening at times!

by Gold Member on Mar. 29, 2013 at 8:57 PM

 I would let her go.

by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:02 PM


by Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 1:33 PM

I would let her go. She's at that age where she's so close to being on her own. And she sounds mature and you even admitted you can't see anything but the rare idea that they might be in a car accident. 

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