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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

I am reaching out for help!

Posted by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 12:03 AM
  • 48 Replies

I am a very concerned mother, my son is 4 years old and he is the youngest of 9 children (he is also a twin). Last night he came to me and handed me his sisters hamster that was dead and bleeding from the mouth. I asked him what happened and he said he killed it by throwing it but didnt want to talk about it. I asked him if he cared that he hurt his sisters feelings and he said no.  Then tonight he told me he did it cause he wanted a hamster too and I wouldnt listen to him when he told me so. He was crying and he did apologize to his sister tonight. He is a little aggressive but ive always chalked it up to hes just being a boy. He likes to rough house with his puppies but then if they bite him on the ear he gets mad and hits them. I have been working 6 days and week 12 hours a day and not able to give him the attention he is use to. I am very worried I dont know if I should take him for a mental health assessment. any advice you could give me would be wonderful. thank you for your time. PS I also asked him if he understood that when you kill something it is gone forever and he said no.

by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 12:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Zazayam
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 12:19 AM

Oh my, I honestly don't know how I'd handle that one, so here's a bump. Good luck!

NoahsMommy10412
by Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 12:20 AM

I'd probably take him in. He sounds like he could use the help.

adreamer7
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 7:50 AM
Thank you for responding my husband's concern is he's only 4 and he's worried if we take him in for a mental health assessment it will go on his permanent health record and possibly hinder him in the future. Do you have any advice?
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offrdngal
by Terri on Mar. 27, 2013 at 7:57 AM
7 moms liked this

 Not getting him the help that it sounds like he needs, will hinder him in the future, more than it being in his health record.

I am not saying your son is one or will become one, but killing animals is one of the beginning signs of sociopathic behavior.  The sooner you can get him help, the better he will be able to function in society.

I hope your husband will understand the necessity of getting your son evaluated.

Good luck.

Quoting adreamer7:

Thank you for responding my husband's concern is he's only 4 and he's worried if we take him in for a mental health assessment it will go on his permanent health record and possibly hinder him in the future. Do you have any advice?

 

mommy404204
by Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 8:01 AM
1 mom liked this

It sounds like your son needs more attention he might be doing things to get attention and that is why he is acting out. I would spend moretime with him before you go rushing off for him to talk to someone who he doesnt know. He is only 4 I think that he needs you to spend time with him maybe just take him or him and his twin out and talk to them especially him. Good luck but I would not rush off right away to a specialist. Also children that young do not understand death so he may not understand that he killed something. Good luck please spend more time with your son. I know it is hard I work full time night shift and have 2 kids so i know it gets tiring but just try to make some time for him now when he is young.

story0702
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 8:17 AM
I would take him. It may very well be nothing but if it is something the sooner you find out the better. At the very least perhaps a councilor could help him find better ways to express himself. My theory would be better safe than sorry.
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adreamer7
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 8:17 AM
Thank you I have done a lot of research on this and from what I've read its not uncommon for children that age to kill hamsters as they have no understanding of death that doesn't come until age 6-7. I am going to take him to the zoo to teach him about animals and give him a better understanding of them. I also plan to take one day a week and take him somewhere just us and spend one on one time with him. Do you have any more input?
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adreamer7
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 8:19 AM
Also just some more information he was premature by almost 3 months and he just turned 4 in January so mentally he's only 3 1/2
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cajunpatsy
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 8:36 AM

I know your son is mad because he did not get his way. But I think he may have not kill the hamster , he may not know how to be gentle with animals.Little animals or any animals will give you signs that they don't like what you are doing to them. When my dd was little she loved to play with dogs. Well, One time she squeeze too hard with a little dog and the dog snap at her. Teaching him how to be with animals this may help him understand. Take it slow and show him how to be gentle, and slowing pet them. 

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 8:38 AM
Get him help. Mass murders start out harming animals.
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