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I need sleep any sleep tips for my baby?

Posted by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 4:00 PM
  • 21 Replies

Hi my names Katie I just had a little boy February22,2013 He is a month old and 5 days and he wants to stay up all night or wake up every hour on the hour or every 20 mint the only well he will sleep is if I'm holding him and this has been going on for 2 days. Yes I hold him a lot I cant help it he my little man I love holding him and I have slept with him in bed a couple times only for 2 hours the most and that's mostly in the morning about 7:00am when I'm really tired and I know he will go back to sleep if I put him in bed with me. Do you women have any advice for me? When he does sleep he either sleeps in his swing or bouncer I'm trying to get him to sleep in his crib.

by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 4:00 PM
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frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 4:04 PM
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it is a tough call at this age.   You may have a baby who wants to cosleep and that is fine if you are ok with it.  DD was put in her bed every night since birth (even at hospital).  I just made sure she was completely asleep before putting her down.   She nursed as well to fall asleep.  If you can perhaps have a cot or bed near his crib to lay on so you are close by when he cries and yes he will cry since that is his only means of communication.  He is not manipulating you , he is telling you he needs something and most likely it will be loneliness and he needs to be held by mommy.    I have pictures of dd sleeping on daddy's belly this young.

MrsJoe125
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 4:23 PM

It sounds like you haven't made a clear cut decision on where you want him to sleep.  I found that I got the most sleep, when my four were little, by cosleeping; however, it seems that cost me a LOT of sleep down the road trying to get them to sleep in their own beds.  Sacrificing a little sleep now to train him to sleep when/where you want him to will likely yield more sleep for you later (and his being more disciplined too).

If you want to sleep now and you don't care whether you do when he's 2, 3, etc, and you don't mind either him sleeping with you until he's ready to sleep on his own or losing a lot of sleep re-training him not to, then cosleeping is the route for you.  I do not recommend this unless you are willing to put in the time and lack of sleep later on.  If you continue to put him in bed with you in the mornings, he will likely continue to demand more time in bed with you.  In that case, your best bet is to just get up and start your day at 7, adjust his nap schedule accordingly, and both of you will probably sleep better.

If you want to train him to sleep in his crib, I suggest walking or rocking or otherwise helping him get to sleep, then put him in the crib.  Every time he wakes up, make sure his needs are met (hungry, thirsty, diaper, cool enough, warm enough) and then walk, rock, etc him back to sleep and lay him in his crib.
THEN AT ABOUT THREE MONTHS OLD, try the Ferber method.  I had two babies who were too sensative for this, but the one I used it for, it worked like a dream.  It only took three nights, she went to sleep in her own bed from three months old.  The two for whom this did not work, were the one from whom I have the experience from which to speak about cosleeping.

A side note: when my fourth was 3 weeks old (I remember the night like it was yesterday), I was tired from waking up every two hours to nurse and change him.  I thought, I'll let him sleep with us just tonight, so I can get some sleep and then I'll go back to putting him in the bassinet.  I slept well enough that night, but it didn't make up for the three weeks before, so I thought I would cosleep for the rest of the week to catch up on my sleep, then put him back in his bed.  At the end of that week, I was losing more sleep "than it was worth" trying to get him to sleep in his bassinet.  I thought, I'll do it when we move; I'll start with the bassinet next to the bed, then move it to his room, etc.  He was three months old when we moved and...  the short version is that two years later, I was FINALLY able to get him to go to sleep in his bed and then had to set up a twin bed for him so that I could spend the rest of the night in his bed with him instead of sitting up in a chair (much different in my mid-30s than in my mid 20s); about a year later, I started talked to him and started going back to my bed instead of sleeping with him (I lost over two weeks of sleep then and almost gave up on night 2).  Another year later, I'm still getting up multiple times a night trying to get him back to sleep and it's a struggle for me to stay up helping him get back to sleep instead of just sleeping with him again some nights.  But now I know that I've got to tough it out now, b/c if I don't, it's going to be MUCH TOUGHER later on.

I think that cosleeping is a beautiful thing, but it's something a parent must be committed to for the long haul; it is not an effective method of catching up on sleep!

Jrmommy032213
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 4:50 PM

 He always sleeps right buy me his swing or bouncer is always right by my bed for last couple days he not having it and I need some sleep too you know?


Quoting frndlyfn:

it is a tough call at this age.   You may have a baby who wants to cosleep and that is fine if you are ok with it.  DD was put in her bed every night since birth (even at hospital).  I just made sure she was completely asleep before putting her down.   She nursed as well to fall asleep.  If you can perhaps have a cot or bed near his crib to lay on so you are close by when he cries and yes he will cry since that is his only means of communication.  He is not manipulating you , he is telling you he needs something and most likely it will be loneliness and he needs to be held by mommy.    I have pictures of dd sleeping on daddy's belly this young.


 

Jrmommy032213
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 5:00 PM

Thank you for your advice When I brought him home from the hospital he slept in his swing because he liked it so much then when I bought him a bouncer he liked that also so he went back and forth from them 2. Well my Aunt and doctor told me I need to start trying to get him to lay in his crib witch I wont put him in a crib yet im scared of SIDS so I bout this playen thing with the newborn thing on top but they said I need to start having him lay in there so he starts laynig flat on his back. So i been trying to work on that alot the most he will last is 20 mint to maby a hour if im lucky but I dont wanna get him use to sleeping with me because for one im scared im going to roll on him or im going to forget he there and tha peterfies me and I need me time in bed you know I dont want him 2 3 yerars old sleeping in my bed. And what is Ferber method? I never herd of it.

Quoting MrsJoe125:

It sounds like you haven't made a clear cut decision on where you want him to sleep.  I found that I got the most sleep, when my four were little, by cosleeping; however, it seems that cost me a LOT of sleep down the road trying to get them to sleep in their own beds.  Sacrificing a little sleep now to train him to sleep when/where you want him to will likely yield more sleep for you later (and his being more disciplined too).

If you want to sleep now and you don't care whether you do when he's 2, 3, etc, and you don't mind either him sleeping with you until he's ready to sleep on his own or losing a lot of sleep re-training him not to, then cosleeping is the route for you.  I do not recommend this unless you are willing to put in the time and lack of sleep later on.  If you continue to put him in bed with you in the mornings, he will likely continue to demand more time in bed with you.  In that case, your best bet is to just get up and start your day at 7, adjust his nap schedule accordingly, and both of you will probably sleep better.

If you want to train him to sleep in his crib, I suggest walking or rocking or otherwise helping him get to sleep, then put him in the crib.  Every time he wakes up, make sure his needs are met (hungry, thirsty, diaper, cool enough, warm enough) and then walk, rock, etc him back to sleep and lay him in his crib.
THEN AT ABOUT THREE MONTHS OLD, try the Ferber method.  I had two babies who were too sensative for this, but the one I used it for, it worked like a dream.  It only took three nights, she went to sleep in her own bed from three months old.  The two for whom this did not work, were the one from whom I have the experience from which to speak about cosleeping.

A side note: when my fourth was 3 weeks old (I remember the night like it was yesterday), I was tired from waking up every two hours to nurse and change him.  I thought, I'll let him sleep with us just tonight, so I can get some sleep and then I'll go back to putting him in the bassinet.  I slept well enough that night, but it didn't make up for the three weeks before, so I thought I would cosleep for the rest of the week to catch up on my sleep, then put him back in his bed.  At the end of that week, I was losing more sleep "than it was worth" trying to get him to sleep in his bassinet.  I thought, I'll do it when we move; I'll start with the bassinet next to the bed, then move it to his room, etc.  He was three months old when we moved and...  the short version is that two years later, I was FINALLY able to get him to go to sleep in his bed and then had to set up a twin bed for him so that I could spend the rest of the night in his bed with him instead of sitting up in a chair (much different in my mid-30s than in my mid 20s); about a year later, I started talked to him and started going back to my bed instead of sleeping with him (I lost over two weeks of sleep then and almost gave up on night 2).  Another year later, I'm still getting up multiple times a night trying to get him back to sleep and it's a struggle for me to stay up helping him get back to sleep instead of just sleeping with him again some nights.  But now I know that I've got to tough it out now, b/c if I don't, it's going to be MUCH TOUGHER later on.

I think that cosleeping is a beautiful thing, but it's something a parent must be committed to for the long haul; it is not an effective method of catching up on sleep!


 

atlmom2
by Platinum Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 5:03 PM
He may not sleep much at this age. I put mine down and they were in the swing some. I never wore my kids or held them constantly. Had to get things done. Mine slept pretty well and did not cry much either.
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MrsJoe125
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 5:13 PM

 Dr. Ferber was to the moms/dads of the 1990s what Dr. Spock (not the guy on Star Trek) was to parents of the 1970s.  He was THE parenting "doctor", etc.  Anyway, he developed a method for teaching your baby/child to sleep in their own bed.  It obviously works best when they can't get out.  He recommended starting at about three months old b/c before that they're not developed enough to be able to self-sooth.

You establish a bedtime routine in advance (now is a good time to start that).  You're likely to have more success if you decide in advnace when you're going to do this, so you can be ready and be sure of your decision.  This is FAR more difficult for the mother than it is for the baby.

You do the bedtime routine, lay the baby down in his bed (crib, whatever), say a short simple phrase (good night johnny), leave the room.  Five minutes later, if the baby is crying, you go in make sure he's alright, say your short simple phrase, leave the room.  Ten minutes later, same thing.

The idea is that he knows you're there and will meet his needs, but he also learns to sooth himself and falls asleep on his own.

I've gotta go.  If you want to message me about this, feel free.  I'll be on again tomorrow afternoon; I"ll try to get on this evening if I can swing it. (I've got four from toddler to teen.) ;-)


Quoting Jrmommy032213:

Thank you for your advice When I brought him home from the hospital he slept in his swing because he liked it so much then when I bought him a bouncer he liked that also so he went back and forth from them 2. Well my Aunt and doctor told me I need to start trying to get him to lay in his crib witch I wont put him in a crib yet im scared of SIDS so I bout this playen thing with the newborn thing on top but they said I need to start having him lay in there so he starts laynig flat on his back. So i been trying to work on that alot the most he will last is 20 mint to maby a hour if im lucky but I dont wanna get him use to sleeping with me because for one im scared im going to roll on him or im going to forget he there and tha peterfies me and I need me time in bed you know I dont want him 2 3 yerars old sleeping in my bed. And what is Ferber method? I never herd of it.

Quoting MrsJoe125:

It sounds like you haven't made a clear cut decision on where you want him to sleep.  I found that I got the most sleep, when my four were little, by cosleeping; however, it seems that cost me a LOT of sleep down the road trying to get them to sleep in their own beds.  Sacrificing a little sleep now to train him to sleep when/where you want him to will likely yield more sleep for you later (and his being more disciplined too).

If you want to sleep now and you don't care whether you do when he's 2, 3, etc, and you don't mind either him sleeping with you until he's ready to sleep on his own or losing a lot of sleep re-training him not to, then cosleeping is the route for you.  I do not recommend this unless you are willing to put in the time and lack of sleep later on.  If you continue to put him in bed with you in the mornings, he will likely continue to demand more time in bed with you.  In that case, your best bet is to just get up and start your day at 7, adjust his nap schedule accordingly, and both of you will probably sleep better.

If you want to train him to sleep in his crib, I suggest walking or rocking or otherwise helping him get to sleep, then put him in the crib.  Every time he wakes up, make sure his needs are met (hungry, thirsty, diaper, cool enough, warm enough) and then walk, rock, etc him back to sleep and lay him in his crib.
THEN AT ABOUT THREE MONTHS OLD, try the Ferber method.  I had two babies who were too sensative for this, but the one I used it for, it worked like a dream.  It only took three nights, she went to sleep in her own bed from three months old.  The two for whom this did not work, were the one from whom I have the experience from which to speak about cosleeping.

A side note: when my fourth was 3 weeks old (I remember the night like it was yesterday), I was tired from waking up every two hours to nurse and change him.  I thought, I'll let him sleep with us just tonight, so I can get some sleep and then I'll go back to putting him in the bassinet.  I slept well enough that night, but it didn't make up for the three weeks before, so I thought I would cosleep for the rest of the week to catch up on my sleep, then put him back in his bed.  At the end of that week, I was losing more sleep "than it was worth" trying to get him to sleep in his bassinet.  I thought, I'll do it when we move; I'll start with the bassinet next to the bed, then move it to his room, etc.  He was three months old when we moved and...  the short version is that two years later, I was FINALLY able to get him to go to sleep in his bed and then had to set up a twin bed for him so that I could spend the rest of the night in his bed with him instead of sitting up in a chair (much different in my mid-30s than in my mid 20s); about a year later, I started talked to him and started going back to my bed instead of sleeping with him (I lost over two weeks of sleep then and almost gave up on night 2).  Another year later, I'm still getting up multiple times a night trying to get him back to sleep and it's a struggle for me to stay up helping him get back to sleep instead of just sleeping with him again some nights.  But now I know that I've got to tough it out now, b/c if I don't, it's going to be MUCH TOUGHER later on.

I think that cosleeping is a beautiful thing, but it's something a parent must be committed to for the long haul; it is not an effective method of catching up on sleep!

 

 


 

jessica8078
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 6:05 PM

I have heard great things about The No Cry Sleep Solution. http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/

Jrmommy032213
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 6:46 PM

 Thank you very much I just orderd it off line.


Quoting jessica8078:

I have heard great things about The No Cry Sleep Solution. http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/


 

LoreleiSieja
by Bronze Member on Mar. 28, 2013 at 12:35 PM

This is a hard time... but be glad he does sleep when you hold him.  And this stage will pass.  Just nap with him as much as you can.  My daughter often naps in a recliner chair with her newborn snuggled in her arms.  I know doctors do NOT recommend co-sleeping, as they worry that you'll roll on top of your baby and suffocate him.  I'm not sure how likely this is, and lots of people do co-sleep, but I had a distant cousin suffocate her infant daughter accidentally by sleeping with her.  Rumor has it that alcohol might have been involved... :(

I would caution you about using the swing too much. Use it - it helps!  But it just seems to me... we have swings and bouncers and jumpers and walkers and wigglers for our babies, and then complain that they are "hyper active" when they start school.  Have we contributed to their activity level by training them that way? Just a thought - there is no research to confirm that.  

I would make a couple of suggestions.  Do you swaddle your baby?  Sometimes that really helps them to feel safe.  A swaddling blanket can give them that security that they feel in your arms.

Do you have a baby wrap carrier?  It might let him sleep while he's snuggled up to your chest, yet keep your arms free.  This won't help YOU to sleep, but can help him get the sleep he needs.  He should be sleeping 16 - 20 hours a day.  If he is sleep-deprived, he will be a fussier baby, and sleep deprivation HAS been linked to hyperactivity in children.  

Good luck, honey, and do take a nap as often as you can. It's the best gift you can give yourself and your little one right now.


http://raisingcreativechildren.com/nail-biting/


Decemberlov
by Member on Mar. 28, 2013 at 1:01 PM

Hate to sound like the mean mom here but I let my little ones cry it out. If they are dry and have a full belly there is no need to go back in the room. I think this taught them how to comfort themselves and be able to entertain them selves as well. I also had a picture book or two in the crib and maybe a stuffed animal and when they woke up they would most times play with their stuff for close to an hour sometimes before crying to get out of their crib.

I know it's so hard to hear them cry but sometimes that's what needs to be done :(

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