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How do you save someone from making a big mistake?

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My best friends boyfriend has asked her to marry him and she said yes. I knew he was planning on asking her and didn't think it was a good idea but didn't say anything until a few nights ago. She sends me a message asking if she made the right choice of saying yes and I said no and here's why;

- He's a drunk. All he wants to do is drink and party and when he gets drunk (which is very often) he gets mean and I fear he'll become violent.

-He doesn't respect her at all. It's his way or no way. She has no voice in their relationship. 

-He's planning on getting fixed because he doesn't want children. She wants kids so bad but he flat out says no kids and that's the end of it.

-He takes every dime she earns and gives her an allowance. Unless she's paying the bills or buying food for the house she's not allowed to have more than $20.

-She's not allowed to drive their car.

All this points to an abusive relationship and I told her I didn't want to see her hurt or worse dead. That she needs to leave him and if she needs a place to stay she's more than welcome to stay with us until she can afford her own place.

She got so mad at me after I told her what I thought and now refuses to talk to me. How can I convince her he's bad news?

CafeMom Tickers
by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 5:19 PM
Replies (31-33):
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 9:28 PM
You tell them.
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by Silver Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:14 AM

You absolutely did the right thing, now it's up to her. Hopefully you planted a seed! The real question is why she puts up with the jerk.

by Bronze Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 5:50 AM
I was just about to post something similar. My friend is making a bad decision she is the type once her mind is made up there is no getting through. Part of me feels like a bad friend because I haven't told her what I think. At the sametime it is none of my business. I don't want to jeopardize our relationship so as of now I have kept quiet. If I warned her I know she would close off and stop talking to me. It feels like a lose lose situation. Op you told your friend what you think that is really all you can do. Your a good friend for doing so one day if she gets away from this man she will appreciate it.
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