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I get jealous when I see my mom with my newborn

Posted by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:02 AM
  • 13 Replies

I don't know what it is - or why - but I feel this overwhelming sense of jealousy and a little bit....idk....aggravated when I see my mom with my baby. I honestly don't know why and I HATE it! My mom is great - she's an amazing support person, we get along, and she's great with my newborn baby girl. She's actually very good with her but I find myself snapping at her for no reason when she holds her or tries to give me any sort of advice. And when I actually stop and think about it after I've left the room - it's actually good advice that I end up following anyway. Tonight, she was holding her and my daughter started crying. I thought it was because she was tired and I was going to rock her to sleep. I went to take her and my mom was still holding onto her, singing to her (This song she made up that I absolutely HATE) and realized she was actually just hot, took her blanket off her and she stopped crying. I left the room almost in tears, with a major attitude because I felt like I should have known that and I'm in fear that my baby will love her more than me.  Has anybody else ever felt this way? Or am I just being crazy?

by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:10 AM
1 mom liked this

I think you just feel a little overwhelmed, and you have some hormone imbalance going on, try not to bite your poor mom's head off, she just wants to help you, you are HER baby.

dom3269
by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:46 AM

 Yes, that's probly it. I'm going to try and relax but I'm already in tears cuz they're reading her a story. Ah!


Quoting Lindalou907:

I think you just feel a little overwhelmed, and you have some hormone imbalance going on, try not to bite your poor mom's head off, she just wants to help you, you are HER baby.


 

BrittSam2011
by Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:48 AM

It took me a long time to learn not to do this with my mother, too. You just need to take a step back and breath deeply. Look at how happy your mother is with your daughter. That little girl will always be yours and your mother will always be grandma. Don't worry that the baby will like her more, you're the one who is there every second of the day. Cheer up.


momofemy
by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 2:59 PM
I still get jealous of my mom sometimes. If that's the right word at all. My daughter is six. I think annoyed is a better word. She wants to act like a know it all. If I was 16, maybe I would accept it. But I'm 44. Annoying.
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iea13
by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 3:05 PM
1 mom liked this
I felt this way when ds was born till people (my mom included) backed off. It was so overwhelming to get so much advice and be told what to do and also be questioned about decisions we made no matter if it came from a caring person. And hormones didn't help.
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jabs54
by Platinum Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 3:39 PM
1 mom liked this

 I'm sorry I never felt that way about my mom.  I just want to say that my mom died before my last child was born and I would have given anything to have her here.  I treasure the times she spent with my older 2 kids. She is loving on your baby because your baby is a part of you, whom I'm sure she loves dearly.  Try to remember she could be gone tomorrow, then how would you feel? 

rockinmomto2
by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 3:45 PM

I think I understand. We lived with my mom when my oldest DD was born, and my mom spent a lot of time with her which has given the two of them a stronger bond than the one she shares with my younger two children. She's also so much more like my mom, so my mom can connect better with her. At first it was awful. I was always angry at my mom and I really didn't want to have a whole lot to do with her. But my oldest is 7 now, and I have learned to let go of the control. I had to teach myself to trust my mom with my kids, and that's hard. As a parent, you sometimes feel you're the only one who can keep your child safe. She didn't stay over night with my mom for a reason other than the birth of a sibling until she was 5. My youngest, however, was 1. 

My best advice is to actively try to let go of your anxiety and control. Your mom loves you and raised you well, so she will take just as good care of your child. She'll have different rules and different ways of doing things and definitely different experiences. Learn from her, take what you like and leave the rest. Just because she offers advice doesn't mean you have to take it. And if her advice gets overwhelming, ask her to lay off giving advice unless she's asked for it.

*hugs*

dom3269
by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 4:10 PM
We're currently living with my mom - im terrified she'll love my mom more than me. Lol


Quoting rockinmomto2:

I think I understand. We lived with my mom when my oldest DD was born, and my mom spent a lot of time with her which has given the two of them a stronger bond than the one she shares with my younger two children. She's also so much more like my mom, so my mom can connect better with her. At first it was awful. I was always angry at my mom and I really didn't want to have a whole lot to do with her. But my oldest is 7 now, and I have learned to let go of the control. I had to teach myself to trust my mom with my kids, and that's hard. As a parent, you sometimes feel you're the only one who can keep your child safe. She didn't stay over night with my mom for a reason other than the birth of a sibling until she was 5. My youngest, however, was 1. 

My best advice is to actively try to let go of your anxiety and control. Your mom loves you and raised you well, so she will take just as good care of your child. She'll have different rules and different ways of doing things and definitely different experiences. Learn from her, take what you like and leave the rest. Just because she offers advice doesn't mean you have to take it. And if her advice gets overwhelming, ask her to lay off giving advice unless she's asked for it.

*hugs*


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dom3269
by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 4:14 PM
But that being said, I really am grateful to have my mom around. I've just got to work on not letting it bother me sooo much
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rockinmomto2
by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 5:00 PM

She's your daughter. No matter what kind of bond she shares with your mom, you will always be HER mom. Nothing can ever change that. It's healthy for children to have bonds with adults other than their parents so that they can feel free to talk about things they may not want to talk about with their parents. And trust me...your newborn is MUCH more interested in you than your mom. As of right now, your mom is just a distraction. You are the real deal. You feed her and put her to bed and carried her inside you for almost a year. Nothing will ever change that bond.

Quoting dom3269:

We're currently living with my mom - im terrified she'll love my mom more than me. Lol


Quoting rockinmomto2:

I think I understand. We lived with my mom when my oldest DD was born, and my mom spent a lot of time with her which has given the two of them a stronger bond than the one she shares with my younger two children. She's also so much more like my mom, so my mom can connect better with her. At first it was awful. I was always angry at my mom and I really didn't want to have a whole lot to do with her. But my oldest is 7 now, and I have learned to let go of the control. I had to teach myself to trust my mom with my kids, and that's hard. As a parent, you sometimes feel you're the only one who can keep your child safe. She didn't stay over night with my mom for a reason other than the birth of a sibling until she was 5. My youngest, however, was 1. 

My best advice is to actively try to let go of your anxiety and control. Your mom loves you and raised you well, so she will take just as good care of your child. She'll have different rules and different ways of doing things and definitely different experiences. Learn from her, take what you like and leave the rest. Just because she offers advice doesn't mean you have to take it. And if her advice gets overwhelming, ask her to lay off giving advice unless she's asked for it.

*hugs*



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