how does a mother do for one child but not the other
My husband and I are raising my Step Children one 9 one 7. The biological mother left the children with my husband when the youngest was just over a year old and would return ever couple months to visit. In the past year and a half she has showed up a little more because the judge told her she had too. The Judge also told her to get counseling to help with her issues with the kids. She visits the kids every 1st 3rd 5th saturday for 7 hours,
Anyway to the point the 7 year old's birthday was in January and she didn't have a party for her until march and that was after she asked repeatedly and the party consisted on buying cupcakes on the way to the park and receiving one gift from her uncle. The mother got her nothing nor did the other members of the family. The child has refused to go back since the party her feeling got really hurt because she was already insecure in her relationship with her mother. So the 9 year olds birthday was in march and the weekend after his birthday she had a huge party for him. She got him a new bike and all the family members got him gifts as well equalling about 6 gifts total. My husband talk to her after the youngest was so disappointed after her birthday and asked if she would please just treat them equal. After he returned today with all his great gifts and excitement of his party the little girl is crushed saying her mother doesn't love her.
What do y'all think? Do we continue to try to build her up and encourage her to go with her mother and work on the relationship or just give up on the relationship between them and reassure her of how special and loved she is by us?
Also how the hell does a mother love one child and not the other?