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It is complicated!

Posted by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 12:58 AM
  • 19 Replies
Ok ladies here is the deal,

I have a two year old. Very active and had a horrible attitude ***she is two I thought this was normal*** my fiancé told me the other day he did not want any kids any time soon because my two year old aggravated him O.o we had a miscarriage almost a year ago which was the hardest thing in the world for me. Well we have been trying ever since and the past few weeks he seemed like he did not even want to touch me. It bothers me ... So i asked him what was up... And he told me " I dont think i want any more kids cause Laura aggravates me and i just realize I dont have patience" I dont even know how to react or feel for that matter..... I need some advice BAD!!!! I want another baby we have tried for almost a year and now everything is so confusing. I try to understand I ask questions and all I can get from him is "i dont know" what do i do!!!
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by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 12:58 AM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 1:02 AM

Get enrolled in a parenting class, the both of you.  It will usually teach ways of handling a 2 yr old properly so that you do not hurt them and yet remain patient.   What are the disciplines you use for when the child misbehaves?

1squishysmom
by Bronze Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 1:10 AM

 Well, he has to be sure before you conceive. It would be horrible to have a baby that is not wanted by dad. I think it's good that he is putting that much thought into it. It is unfortunate that he has waited so long to tell you this, though. Please wait till he's ready. I'm sure you have time to be a little patient. Try to stay calm and be prepared for his final decision to be what you don't want to hear. Maybe he isn't the one for you if more children are your requirement for happiness. You BOTH deserve to be happy.

Apples1202
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 1:12 AM
She gets time out. I sit her on my lap and try to explain why she is getting in trouble. She gets mad if she does not get her way and will throw down like the world is about to end. I dont give in to her though and i try to help her understand why she can't do what she wants to do. I have been threw family classes. I know how to deal with her. I also learn to over look her tantrum and she stops faster with ignoring it cause she realizes it is getting her no where.


Quoting frndlyfn:

Get enrolled in a parenting class, the both of you.  It will usually teach ways of handling a 2 yr old properly so that you do not hurt them and yet remain patient.   What are the disciplines you use for when the child misbehaves?


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frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 1:14 AM

Your guy though may like the reassurance of classes if he has not been through them or have experience with children of all ages.  I started babysitting about age 14 and i still took the child development classes in school as well as the parent one where you had to take care of a computerized baby for 2 days.


Quoting Apples1202:

She gets time out. I sit her on my lap and try to explain why she is getting in trouble. She gets mad if she does not get her way and will throw down like the world is about to end. I dont give in to her though and i try to help her understand why she can't do what she wants to do. I have been threw family classes. I know how to deal with her. I also learn to over look her tantrum and she stops faster with ignoring it cause she realizes it is getting her no where.


Quoting frndlyfn:

Get enrolled in a parenting class, the both of you.  It will usually teach ways of handling a 2 yr old properly so that you do not hurt them and yet remain patient.   What are the disciplines you use for when the child misbehaves?




Apples1202
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 1:17 AM
He wanted one so bad for so long it just shocked me. I want him to be happy. I dont mind waiting. I think what bothers me more is the fact that my two year old aggravates him... She is a child and it is not like she gets her way. She just has her moments like any child. I understand the fact he wants to wait.... I guess i just feel like maybe my two year old is too much :-/ i cant explain it.... Like I cant fix the fact that she is being a child... Does that make sense?


Quoting 1squishysmom:

 Well, he has to be sure before you conceive. It would be horrible to have a baby that is not wanted by dad. I think it's good that he is putting that much thought into it. It is unfortunate that he has waited so long to tell you this, though. Please wait till he's ready. I'm sure you have time to be a little patient. Try to stay calm and be prepared for his final decision to be what you don't want to hear. Maybe he isn't the one for you if more children are your requirement for happiness. You BOTH deserve to be happy.


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Apples1202
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 1:20 AM
Yeah that would be a good idea i see what you are saying. He has never really been around kids much. He dont spend much time with her lately cause he works all the time. I will have to try and find some classes around here. I think that is a great idea


Quoting frndlyfn:

Your guy though may like the reassurance of classes if he has not been through them or have experience with children of all ages.  I started babysitting about age 14 and i still took the child development classes in school as well as the parent one where you had to take care of a computerized baby for 2 days.



Quoting Apples1202:

She gets time out. I sit her on my lap and try to explain why she is getting in trouble. She gets mad if she does not get her way and will throw down like the world is about to end. I dont give in to her though and i try to help her understand why she can't do what she wants to do. I have been threw family classes. I know how to deal with her. I also learn to over look her tantrum and she stops faster with ignoring it cause she realizes it is getting her no where.





Quoting frndlyfn:

Get enrolled in a parenting class, the both of you.  It will usually teach ways of handling a 2 yr old properly so that you do not hurt them and yet remain patient.   What are the disciplines you use for when the child misbehaves?







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chcon
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 1:22 AM
Each baby has their own temperament - he must understand this? The next could be an angel in comparison. Of course, he's probably thinking in the opposite direction. We have four and I must say if my third had been my first, I would have really had to consider whether I wanted more. And yet, we did end up with four :)
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Apples1202
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 1:28 AM
Haha yeah I try to tell him this and I also tried to explain the fact that it would be different in the sense that the child would be "his" there is a deeper bond between your own child and a "stepchild" he treats Laura as if she were his but the bond would still be a little different. He has been Laura's dads since she was one but he never experienced the first year.


Quoting chcon:

Each baby has their own temperament - he must understand this? The next could be an angel in comparison. Of course, he's probably thinking in the opposite direction. We have four and I must say if my third had been my first, I would have really had to consider whether I wanted more. And yet, we did end up with four :)

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MamaSnaps
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 1:51 PM

How can a two year old have a bad attitude? That is learned and can be curbed with a little work from you. 
I HIGHLY recommend the books 1-2-3 Magic and Positive Discipline. Your child's attitude problem is not just terrible twos.

You are doing the right thing ignoring the tantrum, but you can do more to stop it before it starts too. Swift and immediate punishment (such as time out) is necessary, but you need to couple it with a bit of positive discipline too-which is where the two books come in. They work amazingly well together.  

bad_mama2011
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 6:28 PM

Maybe with a sibling she won't be so spoiled?

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