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The worst... I need advice (PIOG)

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Yesterday my son woke up with a fever. He was acting fine other than the fact that he was so hot and he was acting extra tired. I wasn't going to take him to the children's nighttime clinic, but we ended up taking him anyway just in case.

After we got there, we sat for 1 1/2 hours. Understandable, but I didn't think to bring his tylenol so his temp was going up most of the time we were there. They took his temperature wrong. I knew the temp they got was way below what his temp actually was. I asked the doctor  to recheck his temp, she didn't. She looks at his ears, says they look perfect. She looks at his throat, says it's a little red but nothing too bad. They did a strep test, said it must be viral since that came back negative, and sent us home.

Pulling into the drive way at home, he started having a seizure. Worst fucking experience of my LIFE. I'll never forget how helpless I felt and how awful it was.

So we called an ambulance. We get to the hospital and the second the doctor looks in his throat he said "wow he's got blisters" and checked his ears, found an ear infection in both. His temperature was 103.3, not 100.

I told that bitch doctor that she was wrong, and something was wrong with my son. Doctors need to listen to mothers more. We might not have a degree, but when it comes to our own children, we know wtf is normal and what isn't.

Thankfully he is fine now (it was a febrile seizure aka fever seizure).  I'd like to never repeat this experience, ever, in my life.  I honestly think I need mental help now, though. I don't know how to deal with all the emotions and thoughts I'm having, and I can't stop replaying it all in my head. I know it only happened last night and it's still fresh, so I know it will get better, but I can't handle it right now.  Does anyone have any advice on how to stop the whole thing from replaying in my head every time I close my eyes? Or how to NOT become the worst kind of helicopter mother after this? I'm really freaking out in my head.

by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 1:30 AM
Replies (11-14):
Bleacheddecay
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 12:41 PM

*HUGS* When those bad images and thoughts come try to think of something that calms you and makes you smile instead. It gets easier as time goes on.

MamaSnaps
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 1:02 PM
2 moms liked this

I've been down a very similar road-all of the way to the point my son's ear drums burst. We'd been into the doc's office repeatedly and she was flat out sick of seeing me because I was INSISTENT that something was wrong with his ears. FINALLY the 4th day my husband took him in. Do you know what? SHE CHEWED HIM OUT FOR NOT BRINGING THAT CHILD IN EARLIER BECAUSE HIS EAR DRUMS BURST. He got right back into her face on that one-and my husband does NOT do that. Unfortunately it was at a military hospital to boot, so-she can do that and it's just fine! 

To this day I have little trust in most doctors. It's taken me YEARS to find one for myself and the kids that I trust. My husband's doctor I trust about as far as I can spit and I have NOTHING good to say-again, VA/Military Doc. Go figure. 

Honestyl, you will have some form of this stuck in your head forever. It will get better, but there are still things like that that just make my heart clench whenever I think of it. As time goes on you'll think of it less and less, but that doesn't help now. Concentrate on the positives for now. He's medicated and getting better. He's probably a much happier boy today. 

Just keep reminding yourself that helicopter moms aren't good for their kids. You'll find a balance. You knew when the temp was wrong in the clinic-get pushy. You won't hesitate after this, so there are positives that came out of it. Fixate on those. You'll have to force yourself to do it, but you did learn good things here. If you just can't deal and you are having sleep issues and... call your doc and let them know it's an emergency. They'll squeeze you in if you are beyond coping. 

Try some of the relaxing herbals. Lavendar oil diffuser, chamomile teas. st. johns wort is a herbal for depression which this kind of fits into. There are TONS of different things for anxiety and panic related things in homeopathy. If you have a homeopathic pharmacy nearby they can help you a LOT and it's WELL worth it. 

Busymomma1988
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 3:48 PM
Omg...I wish you the best. That apparently happened to me when I was a baby...my mom said my temp was at 110. My cousin also had a son who about a month ago, ended up having a seizure. I felt terrible. She called me in the middle of the night and I offered to take her to er. She insisted on waiting til morning and I didn't want to tell her about me as a baby cuz I didn't want to freak her out. I figured if she thought he was fine, that I should let it be cuz I wasn't there...he ended up having the seizure about 2 hours later. He's fine now. its very scary. My prayers go out to you and your son.
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katiebeth1821
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 3:14 AM

i dont blame you you have every right to be mad. As far as it replaying in your mind it will get better with time or write a letter. Get all your angery out just write it on a paper it might help. Doctors from there are way to quick to pass things off. It happens to me with this urgent care I go too. They say viral I say bull shit I make a appt with the kids real doc they give me meds cause I find out sounds like its in my sons lungs.

They dont listen to moms enough and I hate it too. Im so sorry this happen to you there is nothing worse then seeing something happen to your child. I think soem of that replay might because you are mad and other cause you think to yourself if I just did this. Dont beat yourself about this.

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