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Lost, confused! Not sure what to do.

Posted by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 4:48 PM
  • 8 Replies
DH and I had protected sex around the time of ovulation. My period was 2 days late and I was feeling extremely nauseous, and even though the odds were slim, I thought I'd take a pg test JUST IN CASE. Turns out I am pregnant. I conceived 2 weeks ago but in medical terms I am considered "4 weeks" pregnant.

I am in total shock. We didn't expect this to happen! We were having safe sex (apparently not safe enough). I don't know what I'm going to do. :/ we are in absolutely no position to have a second child. We are barely making it with just the 3 of us. Advice/encouragement is much needed!!
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by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 4:48 PM
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Replies (1-8):
jackiewal10
by Gold Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 4:52 PM

There are ways to make it "cheaper".  Breastfeed, cloth diaper.  Are you on WIC or any assistance?  You can hope the baby is the same sex as your first so you can reuse some of the clothes.  Buy clothes at second hand shops.  Baby clothes are usually in really good condition because babies outgrow them so fast, they don't have a lot of wear and tear.

belindah
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 4:53 PM
Relax and breath take it one day at a time
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savingtheworld
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 5:47 PM
I always heard, if u wait until u can afford children, you'll never have them:) we have 6? Sometimes we wonder how we will make it..turns out, we always do!
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SamMom912
by Silver Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 5:52 PM
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After 4 years if infertility and finally getting our son... Id say IF you honestly feel this child isnt good for your family, then please give the baby up for adoption to a family that has not been able to conceive.  

I have so many friends (4 years of sitting in drs waiting rooms hoping for new treatemnt, i made a lot of contacts) and it is truly heartbreaking to see families waiting for a child to love. Perhaps you could find it in your heart to make them a family... Answer their prayers... 

Hugs

stayhomemom28
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 6:35 PM

congrats.you are going to be fine. i completly understand i have a six year old and five month old. i considered abortion with my last baby. we cant afford them either but we love them we made changes we are always late on bills and living pay check to pay check. but there is help wic, prenancy help centers the second hand stores. you can make it work. your going to be fine.babies are a blessing.

SamMom912
by Silver Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:42 PM
Ummmm, wow 6! Thats amazing! God bless.

I do however think that if u cant provide for a child then thats another story.
We dont struggle with money at all. I waited fir a while, married, enjoying each other, saving our money, going to grad school, working, buying a house... i cant imagine living the kind if life of Financial struggle. Many people make hard choices and sacrifices to not live paycheck to paycheck or rely on public assustance. This is one if them...




Quoting savingtheworld:

I always heard, if u wait until u can afford children, you'll never have them:) we have 6? Sometimes we wonder how we will make it..turns out, we always do!

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MamaSnaps
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 8:26 PM
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I have been where you are at-only it was my 4th. I was told I couldn't even get pregnant. I was TOTALLY PANICKED. Freaking out panicked. My DH was an E-4 in the army. There was NO WAY we could afford to have 4 kids on his pay. We talked about it and decided that we just plain couldn't do it and I couldn't give a child up so, I'd have an abortion. We made the appointment together. I got out of bed that morning and crawled right back in. I couldn't do it. He is now 15.

I won't say it was easy in any way. 4 kids on a really crappy pay of an E-4 15 years ago SUCKED. I was living large on the pay with just the 3 kids-I'd been almost to welfare status before, so I could stretch a dollar. I thought for sure that adding one more was far more than a dollar could stretch. But we did do it and we have been able to provide for our kids some amazing things I never dreamed we'd EVER be able to do. I learned how to save every dime I could on groceries and necessities. Turns out you COULD stretch even further. I also believe now that I could make that stretch even more if I HAD to. We learned how to do EVERYTHING on the cheap or free.
BIG DEAL HERE: we learned how to make family time really count and not be about the amount we spent. That was the most amazing lesson I could ever have learned in life. Here we are 16 years and a couple of months since that day I made that one decision that was guranteed to make our lives HELL financially and a few other ways. We still have the most amazing family time when there is no $ involved. That is such a precious gift that I can't describe it to you. Because of the $ lessons I have learned I've been able to budget for us to retire at 50 and live comfortably for 50 years. And we don't have an amazing income by any means. 

My lesson to you: take the dollar sign out of the equation. Make it just about you and your family. Talk extensively for the next week and make whatever decision you need to make. Do what is right for you and your family, but don't let it be based on the almighty dollar. 

RosesReally
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 8:34 PM

Do you have family support?

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