Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Have you ever felt pressure for your baby to achieve the same goals at the same time as another's baby?

Posted by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 12:08 PM
  • 17 Replies

Baby Milestones: Red Flags in a Child's Development or Bragging Rights for Competitive Moms?

by Nicole Fabian-Weber

baby walkingWhoever's daughter crawls first is the coolest! Whoever's son gets teeth earliest is destined to have an Einstein on their hands! Whoever's child drinks out of the sippy cup quickest wins a prize!

Or not.

Although often treated as a competition, baby milestones are more intended to serve as red flags. For instance, baby not sitting up by a year? Red flag. Baby crawling at 6 months? That's great, but ... doesn't necessarily mean you have a genius on your hands.

Here's a quick rundown of what you need to know about four big milestones -- and when it's okay to stop worrying!

1. Sitting Up

Babies typically start sitting up on their own anywhere between 4-7 months, and usually, at around 8 months, babies will be able to sit on their own without help for long stretches. But if your child doesn't sit up within this exact age range, it's okay! Babies all develop at their own pace.

However, it's certainly worth mentioning to your doctor if, by 8-months, baby isn't sitting up, rolling over, or seems to have stiff or floppy muscle tone.

2. Crawling

The average age for crawling is around 8-months, but again, if your little one isn't scooting around on all fours by this time, no need to immediately go into panic mode. Parents can generally tell if and when a baby is close to crawling (creeping, shuffling, and rocking back and forth are a few signs), and hey, guess what? Some babies skip crawling altogether and go straight to walking.

If your child has had no developmental issues thus far (she's sitting, she grabs objects on her own, etc.) it's really not cause for concern. But if peace of mind is what you're after, by all means, speak to your pediatrician.

3. 'Talking'

Some babies say "mama" by 5-months, others "dad" by 9-months. Again, your baby is an individual, and there's no need to freak out if all the babies in your play group are chatting it up, and yours isn't.

However, that said, if by baby's first birthday, he's not babbling or saying a few "words" that only Mom and Dad can understand (they may make no sense to others), it's worth bringing up to the pediatrician.

4. Walking

Once your baby starts walking it's "bye-bye, baby; hello toddler". Babies traditionally start walking anywhere from 10-18 months, but again, if your child doesn't fall into this exact range, it's okay. Talk to your doctor, but as long as your little one has the ability to pull themselves up on their own and cruise around while holding on to furniture (and has had no other developmental issues), there's likely no cause for concern.

Have you ever been worried about your baby reaching a certain milestone? Have you ever felt pressure for your baby to achieve the same goals at the same time as another's baby?

by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 12:08 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
by Silver Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 12:14 PM
My 5 year old was fairly early with milestones. My 6month old is taking her time!! I don't mind because we aren't having anymore, and I want to hang on to the "baby" as long as I can!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Barb on Apr. 4, 2013 at 12:15 PM

The only thing that I remember was that my oldest didn't walk until he was 15-16 months old. He'd been premature, and I worried that something was wrong since other babies that I saw were already walking. but he is fine. :)

by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 12:21 PM

Nope. My son was a preemie and I've let him move along at his own pace. I've never worried about what other babies did and when, he's the only one I focus on and he does stuff when he's ready to do it!

by Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 12:26 PM
Yes! And no, too. I have a 1 YO (on Wednesday!) and I worry that she's not walking, only has one tooth, and only says dada. But then I realize that all these things are normal and like pp said, they allow me to hang onto baby time a little longer. Plus her big brothers didn't walk till 14 and 18 months, so I've got a while.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 12:41 PM

I only have one friend with a baby, and he did everything around a year. I get a look into my future when I'm around him, and it's exhausting! My daughter is 6.5 months and no doubt will be crawling soon...Sure, bragging is nice but I'm not sure it's worth chasing around a 7 month old all day :/

by Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 2:25 PM

Yes.   I think it is normal to worry, especially with the first child.   It is so easy to say "they will crawl when they are ready", but why are there milestone averages?     My first child spoke clearly, in full sentences by age 2.  He said his first clear, precise word at 8 months; "Cracker".    He walked at 12 months.   At age 2 he knew songs, his name and phone number, colors and shapes and could count.   

My next baby walked at 10 months, but would not speak!   Sure, I worried.   By age 2, he was talking...but I was the only one who could understand what he was saying.  lol.     He did not repeat or recite anything... therefore, he could not say his full name, let alone his phone number.   He had no interest in learning shapes, colors or songs.  He liked numbers.  He could count, but did not recognize a single letter.   Yes, I worried.  

He turned out just fine.   His kindergarten teacher was concerned because he would not identify letters or their sounds.   He showed us all!   She put a book in front of him and asked him to find a letter.... he had heard the whole conversation and opened the book and just read it aloud!

by Bronze Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 4:08 PM

Yes and no.  I only have DD and she did everything early and was up and running by 10 months and talking soon after.  Now t 2 1/2, you can have whole conversations with her.  However, when I would speak to other moms and they tell me about what their child can do (ie. alphabet, numbers, etc...), sometimes I feel a competitiveness.  I know it's silly, but also natural in many ways. 

by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 4:10 PM
Not really I think she hit most of her milestones early. Although I did worry about her talking enough because I wasn't sure exactly what her vocabulary should be like right now.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Bronze Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 4:13 PM
Nope, my dd was a late walker, my ds1 an early walker and ds2 is 5 and still not walking. My kids hit their milestones when they're ready and on their own time table.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 7:05 PM

My son was early on all of his except walking (he waited till his 13month), but he kind of skipped walking and when straight to running. He was super late on his teeth which almost had his Pediatrician worried, but he cut his first right before we were getting ready to take him to a dentist.

He didn't met a lot of the "learning" milestones that early development tested for in his school programs.

And I thought that these were very poorly constructed milestones.

He never played house, apparently this is a big one. He still doesn't play it though.

He didn't start "pretending" to talk on a fake phone until he was 5 years old. However he didn't see a lot of phone use at home from me.

He never did the "pretend" cooking, also apparently a big one. which I chalked up to the fact that I always had him sitting on the counter next to me while I cooked unless I was frying foods, then he was in his high chair by the island.

They actually pressured me to "encourage" these achivements at home. I refused.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)