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Step-Daughter is a drug baby, hitting herself, pulling her hair, very slow learner... HELP!

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 11:37 PM
  • 27 Replies

okay I honestly didn't know where to turn and I'm looking for any kind of advice that I can! So a little about the situation first off, My step daughter who I am raising as my own, and who I love as much as I love my own two children, Her mother did meth early in pregnancy, Her "mother" Also is not in the picture.. She kidnapped our daughter from us and we were forced to take legal action, she got every other weekend supervised visitation and she hasn't came to see her daughter in 7 months... Well we've always noticed Emily wasn't as advaced as others honestly, I thought her father working as much as he did and her getting packed around to nana's and aunties was the reason, and when we finally moved in together I started seeing the aggresation, She throws herself around, screams for hours during the night, she hits herself and others when she is angry and she not just pulls her hair but she rips it out and pulls at her ears, She just turned 17 months old and she just started belly laughing!! She only says a few words and honestly i'm trying sooo soo hard to find something that works but nothing has helped!! please if anyone can please offer some advice! I'm to the point I just rock her at night and literally cry with her I feel like I'm no doing the right thing and of course I have a lot of anger towards her mother.. I mean she's so precious how could you do this to her?! My two children who have never been around this are starting to pick up on things that she's doing... someone please help with these meltdowns!! I'm begging you!!

by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 11:37 PM
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Replies (1-10):
CampClan
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 11:40 PM
I don't have any advice but here's a bump & I'm saying a quick prayer for everyone involved. Good luck Mamma!
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fatcat0908
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 11:41 PM
Sorry I have no advice for you, but here's a bump hoping someone that does will see this.
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kobankan
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 11:43 PM

thank you anyways guys! I have no idea how to work this site but found out it had advice boards and figured I give it a try..

DragonMother10
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 11:54 PM
1 mom liked this
You need to find a therapist who specializes in behavioral problems with children who were born from mothers who did drugs. She is going through withdrawls because that is what her mother was "providing" her with. I feel your anger. My husband's mother was a herion addict and did it while she was pregnant with him and his older sister. He hates her so much, yet still has her somewhat in his life. I have no respect for her myself. She abandoned my husband and took his sister. His father was a herion addict too and died from a herion overdose. My husband has came a long way and he is a good man and awesome father.
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kobankan
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:03 AM

She's already 17 months would she be going through withdrawls still? I'm def going to be looking into a therapist for her I can't stand to see her this way!

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:11 AM
Find a therapist because more and more issues usually come up later in life. Friends bosses daughter never was normal. Total mess her whole life into adulthood.
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snowangel1979
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:12 AM
I would talk to her doctor. If she does need special services, the earlier the better. She's had such a hard life in only 17 months. How long have you lived with her?

I'm not there to see what she's actually doing but a lot of 17 month olds do throw themselves around and hit. As parents we have to teach them better. They don't know how to voice what's wrong at that age. It could be the terrible twos starting early. LOL. One of my sons used to get mad and pull his hair, then get even more mad because it hurt that he pulled his hair out. (which made me want to pull my hair out LOL)

Have you had her ears checked. Has she had a lot of ear infections? My son whose 9 used to pull his ears and scream at night. Even when he didn't have an actual ear infection, It was the pressure and at night from fluid behind his ear drum really bugged him. He got tubes at 2 and it was night and day how he acted and talked after that.
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leanntx
by Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:13 AM
You definitely need to talk to a behavioral specialist. She could have a lot of problems stemming from BM's drug use during pregnancy. It's a lot like Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.
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Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:18 AM
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The therapist can also give you strategies for dealing with her, and don't assume she's going to be ruined for life mama, things will probably get better, 17 months is still very early and she's frustrated because she can't talk yet, maybe she's just starting the terrible two's early! Hugs!

veganistic
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:18 AM
Definitely get a professional involved! Early intervention is everything!
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