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Help Me Leave

Posted by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 3:51 PM
  • 9 Replies

I am at my breaking point. After living in an underground bug infested apt. for 3 years my SO refuses to move or even look for a new place. He never lisons to me, not a single thing I say. I have started saying "what did I just say" its like he thinks hes better then me but he is always WRONG! No matter what it is, on Saturday I started crying because the stress of my life was getting to me and said we need to move. He did what he always does goes from 0 to 50, (goddess he is a child) and thew out his favorite arrogant"get a job" I said fine let me go to college. let me get a real job that will support our DD. he said NO, you just want to sit around and do nothing and make me pay for your college. Bla Bla Bla"

Here is a little background on my last 3 jobs.

1)When pregnant I had a full time job as a customer service rep at a computer resale business. Good pay, insurance, full time. After my leave they even offered me part time (couse they loved me so much!) SO made me quit couse he could not handle watching DD for a few hours and refused to let us take her to child care so I became a SAHM

2)Now he lost his  (crappy) [note this happened a few times couse he quit allot]  job but he did not get one right away so I got a job at a local pizza joint. It was a lot of fun, I was a sign girl (I would pop in my Ipod go to the street and shake my booty with the sign for the pizza place) I also worked the register. The liked me and I got almost full time, above minimum wage and FREE PIZZA! SO hated baby sitting and bitched that I would "strip" for money (really) So when he got a job that conflicted with my hours they offered to change them, but you can imagine the tantrum. So I had to leave. (PS they told me I can come back anytime I wonted)

3)Last job was the worst I got a night job at Mcdonald did not last a month. He would show up with DD and demand to know why I was not home (sometime you have to say late right) say I could not go. call all the time. I just quit.

I cant leave the apt with out calling him and letting him know everything. He does not chaek my phone but I have to give him a play by play of the text phone calls the its the same thing in my eyes. I have no, zero, zip excess to money and have to beg him to buy me anything (I thing its a power trip for him) but here is the funny part, I have to pay for everything. When we go anywhere he will not stand in line to pay for anything I have to, he will not pay any bill, I have to, he will not even get off the couch to get the Chinese. (that was a fun tantrum) He has to control everything. DD loves MLP and I made a remix CD for her for the car I love the music and so does she but SO is so selfish he wont let her listen to it.

I am a good mother and house wife I clean and do the dishes by hand drive everywhere (he does not have a license) I cook all our food FROM SCRATCH! Not kidding I will spent up to 2 hours a night in the kitchen cooking a healthy dinner for him and DD.

I have lost over 50lds last year, he does not care.

For the last month I have been telling him if he does not change he will lose me, but it seem like he does not even care, so I have just started saying "tick-tock"

I have packed a bag but have no were to go. He never hit me so I dont think I can go to a shelter and I dont really want to take DD there (I know Im prideful) I have no family that will take me in.

Any Advice...

 

by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 3:51 PM
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Replies (1-9):
Bmat
by Barb on Apr. 9, 2013 at 3:55 PM

Get training and get a job so that you can support yourself and your child. Even if it is not college at this point, get a job. Even if you have to pay a good amount for daycare, you are still getting job experience and making contacts toward getting a better job.

NorseGodessMom
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 4:00 PM

 

that is the point he flat out will not let me! No job training, college, job ext. He is a control freak. I need to job train save money and get the hell out but if I cant take the first step....

Quoting Bmat:

Get training and get a job so that you can support yourself and your child. Even if it is not college at this point, get a job. Even if you have to pay a good amount for daycare, you are still getting job experience and making contacts toward getting a better job.


 

jackiewal10
by Gold Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 4:04 PM

Are you married?  If you are, that will help.

Bmat
by Barb on Apr. 9, 2013 at 4:05 PM

Where were you before you two lived together?  Perhaps you can return there for a few months.  Ask about a shelter, actually.  Hitting isn't the only kind of abuse.

NorseGodessMom
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 4:06 PM

yes we are legally married and DD is his  


Quoting jackiewal10:

Are you married?  If you are, that will help.


 

NorseGodessMom
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 4:08 PM

 

I worked full time and was inde. so I cant go back to anywere and no family to take me in. Already asked to said get over urself and work it out

Quoting Bmat:

Where were you before you two lived together?  Perhaps you can return there for a few months.  Ask about a shelter, actually.  Hitting isn't the only kind of abuse.


 

jackiewal10
by Gold Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 4:08 PM
2 moms liked this

Ok, then call a lawyer, explain what is happening.  I'm assuming that you'll be filing for divorce?? If you are married, you are entitled to HALF of whatever you to have.  Money, house if you owned it, etc.  Then get it set up so that your accounts are either frozen, so that he can't run off with all the money in them, or split so that half of it is put into a new account under your name.

Quoting NorseGodessMom:

yes we are legally married and DD is his  


Quoting jackiewal10:

Are you married?  If you are, that will help.




rebeccasmly
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 4:10 PM
There are programs out there that will help with job training and child care. Take advantage of those programs and get out.
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savingtheworld
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 4:18 PM
1 mom liked this
Do u want to leave or not? Don't make excuses! If u really wanted to u would..apparently making threats to do so, aren't exactly getting u any where
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