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Met new man im falling for dont know what to do

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I'm a single mom of a 7mnth old.. Me and my x (baby daddy) have been split for 6 months now... Ive resently started seeing this new guy who im starting to fall for.. We agreed to take it slow to get to know each other he just resently got out of a long relationship as well ands now wanting to get his heart broke again... Anyways.. We've been seeing each other for bout a month now and hes great my family loves him.. He had no problem with my son and hes so sweet and amazing... It scares me I'm falling for him I don't know what to do cause I don't wana get hurt eather.... He tells me he likes me can see us being together but just wants to take it slow.. I was fine with it at first now I want more I really like him an d I guess I'm scared hell slip away... Someone please tell me what I should do.. sorry its so long
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by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 12:13 AM
Replies (11-20):
Bmat
by Barb on Apr. 17, 2013 at 10:30 AM

Don't be slave to your emotions. Keep thinking, he's only a friend he's only a friend. Don't become intimate with him, you've only known him for a month.  *fingers crossed* for you.

langleytwins824
by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 10:35 AM
Your welcome!! I hope everything works out for you...
But if your feelingd are getting really intense I would talk to him... just let him know how u feel but that you don't expect him to share the feelings until he's ready


Quoting newmama93:

thank you




Quoting langleytwins824:

Me and my husband started dating like a week after we both got out of 3 year long relationships. We tried taking it slow but it just wasn't in our cards! We've been together for 4 years now and are happy! We didn't have kids yo factor into it tho.


But I will say be careful just because it will be hard on the baby and the bf if they get attached and then you break up!! But let your heart feel what it wants. But remember to think with your head!!


Good luck!!


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atlmom2
by Platinum Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 10:41 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree. Having sex is not taking it slow. Wait and see how things go the next 6 months or so.
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grannywilson
by Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 11:13 AM
4 moms liked this

You say  you agreed to take it slow, what does that mean to you?  You just broke up with one man six months ago. You have a baby with him.  Now you are "Falling in love" with someone else and have no problem having sex with him.  Step back and take a look at your life.  Do you know how to date someone and not be intimate?  If not, you should not  be dating anyone.  Worry about your baby and getting your own life together.  What kind of advice do you want?  Read what your wrote and pretend it is someone else.  What would you advise?  It doesn't sound like you are ready for any relationship right now.

MamaAjax
by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 12:01 PM

Take time for yourself honey. I'd agree with the stop having sex part though. Not because I'm being judgmental, but mainly because if both of you are fresh out of relationships the sex WILL confuse feelings.

My husband and I started out as friends with benefits. Hell I had been a single mom for 5 years (ex no where in sight), paying my bills, supporting myself, bought my own car (New and which was paid off after 2 years). I was all in it for myself, so when I got wrapped up with him, I didn't have any feelings like I needed a man and I wasn't scared of losing him. I didnt want a man. It was suppose to be fun and carefree and it was fun and carefree and since there was not a lot of "expectations" or "fears" the feelings were allowed to developed freely. I didn't envolve him a lot with my son. I mean he came over for dinner, and of course there was to occassional night stay later on. But it wasn't until a few months into us actually agreeing to dating that he started doing family outings with us. It wasn't until two months into us dating that my parents learned about him (which is about 5 months from the point when we "started" our "relationship") 

It's nice being out in public with a man beside you when you have your kid. It makes it seem "whole" I get it. He's a nice guy and seems like a family guy. But don't risk letting emotional feelings like needing or wanting a "whole" family or a "dad" for your baby to get mixed up in your search for someone who really loves you and you really love him. 

Mainly I didn't date for this reason: I wanted my son's approval. I apparently sucked at picking his bio-dad, I should have at least focused on making it up to him by solely focusing on him until he was old enough to have a say in his step-dad. 

I mean I didn't ask him when I started sleeping with "Mr. A"

But I asked him if he wanted "Mr. A." to come around more, and I asked him if he wanted "Mr. A." to do more things with us, and "Mr. A." asked his premission to marry me and asked his premission to adopt him. 

He grew up just fine with the family we had (It was small but we were all very happy and close. My parents, me, him, his godparents, their mothers (both divorcees), and his aunt and cousin.)

he actually told "Mr. A" and me. "Sure. I want a brother and a sister, and then maybe a dad. But I want a brother and a sister first." 

o.O got the order backwards there kid. 

He didn't care about the "Mother, Father, Child" family standard. He cared that everyone was happy and that everyone loved each other (mainly him). 

lamommy23
by New Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 12:55 PM

 im in a new relationship it will be 2 months next week and I am crazy for him but I have to take my DD into consideration and although I would love to have him around more often he has yet to meet my DD but I am having sex with him just make sure its SAFE sex and if he says he's only interested in you ask him if he wants to be in a relationship

studentmom418
by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 3:00 PM

 

"Stop until you have an education, and a job that makes enough money to support yourself AND a child."

How do you know that she doesn't already have this?

Quoting sabrtooth1:

Taking it slow means STOP HAVING SEX.  Stop having sex with a man you met a MONTH ago.  Stop having sex while your INFANT is in the next room.  Stop having sex before you get pregnant AGAIN.  Stop until you have an education, and a job that makes enough money to support yourself AND a child.  Stop until your child is old enough to be with a babysitter, so you are NOT "taking your son with you everywhere".  Stop having sex with him, or ANY man you meet, until you know for SURE that he's not there just because you WILL have sex with him.  Which will take longer than a week.  Or a month.


 

newmama93
by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 3:13 PM
I have a job and am supporting my son on my own no help from the baby daddy... I have my own car witch will be payed off within the next year and once thats payed.off ill be getting back into my own place totally on my own just me and my son... I wouldn't be bothering with a relationship if I didnt have my ducks in a row..lol my son is my #1 priority me and this guy are being safe we bolth are not wanting to have and kids soon if it so happens to happen we bolth are financially stable to support another... I just really like this guy and Im the type of person who believes that everyone has someone out there for them... I don't wana put a wall around my heart because of a breakup and let someone who's great walk outa my life my question was how.do u try and stay freinds with someone for the time being if you ve fallen for this person
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got3boyz
by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 3:15 PM

I wouldn't rush it, especially since you are both so fresh out of a previous relationship.   I'm not saying it couldn't work out, but just be careful that it's not a rebound relationship.

newmama93
by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 3:21 PM
My fear is if I.tell him.ive fallen for him.itll scare him.away cause I told him.in the.beginibg I was fine taking it slow I dont wana make myself out to be a love sick puppy whos falls crazy in love barely knowing someone... I like him like puppy love... I was in a.bad realtion ship woth my x for 5 years.. And this guy is like the opposite of him witch makes me like him more... I wana take it slow so bad but I cant help but want him for myself eather how do I satay freinds with someone I like so much


Quoting langleytwins824:

Your welcome!! I hope everything works out for you...

But if your feelingd are getting really intense I would talk to him... just let him know how u feel but that you don't expect him to share the feelings until he's ready




Quoting newmama93:

thank you






Quoting langleytwins824:

Me and my husband started dating like a week after we both got out of 3 year long relationships. We tried taking it slow but it just wasn't in our cards! We've been together for 4 years now and are happy! We didn't have kids yo factor into it tho.



But I will say be careful just because it will be hard on the baby and the bf if they get attached and then you break up!! But let your heart feel what it wants. But remember to think with your head!!



Good luck!!



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