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Why does every morning have to be a battle w/ her

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   Every morning before school is like torture for my 3 yr dd. Well actually it's every morning when she has to get dress and go some where. It has nothing to do with being early and doesn't want to wake up because shool starts at 9 a.m and and any appts or ect is always schedule later. The  problem is she doesn't want to where clothes.

   She refuses to get dress and keep the clothes on herself. I just wrestled with her a half hr ago, got her dress, left to get my ds dress too and when I came back 5 min later she was undress. She cries and screams and throws tantrums when it comes to clothes. We bought her new clothes and tried them on her and let her have some say so in what she wanted  so that way she's comfortable. Nope, she perfers just panties. 

We are now late for school. The only reason I'm on here and not trying to rush out the door is because ds (11 months) got cranky so im bf'ing him to sleep.

I've tried time outs and I feel like i'm being punish when she is on time out. I've tried talking to her in a firm and assertive voice. I've tried explaining why she needs clothes. Only thing that works is when my DH, her dad steps in. She listens and obeys him, she still cries but still gets dress. I've tried mimicking him. Well as you can tell no luck. Please any more suggestions?

by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 10:22 AM
Replies (11-20):
SamMom912
by Silver Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 6:08 PM


Yes! This is exactly what I was thinking! Read the out of sync child see if it fits- theres a questionairre? Is she heat/ temp sensative? Does she not eat certain texture foods? Do sounds bither her? Too much chaos? 

My guy 6 has spd. He hated getting dressed. Hared the clothes on... The change from long sleeves to short always bothered him... When he was 2 he would pull at his short sleeves and say.."its broken" and cry! 

Ive learned to put his clothes in the dryer... Who doesnt love warm cozy clothes, ive learned nothing with tags. Nothing with too tight elastic. Nothing with buttons.. These are all feels that he doesnt like... I equate it to wearing a bra all day thats a bit uncomfy... Ugh... Who would want to get use to that... Ick! Lol

Fyi- rewards and punishments wont work for this, domt waste your time. 

Quoting marisab:

shes sounds sensory and clothes may be irritating talk to dr about sensory processing disorder



LindaClement
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 9:22 PM

Very likely because she doesn't want to go.

You can't punish her into wanting to go, and you can't threaten her into wanting to go. You can't, in fact, make her want to go at all.

Maybe she thinks you care more about what she wants than her dad does? 

It's pretty ordinary for 3yos not to want to spend their days away from their moms, and it's also pretty ordinary for them to want to be mostly or completely undressed.

mylilsunshine
by Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 9:00 AM

Lol, A friend suggested the same thing but she wont get dress at all.


 

Quoting Bleacheddecay:

I used to have this issue so I started making my kids get dressed at night and sleep in their clothes. LOL That worked.


 

mylilsunshine
by Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 9:02 AM

I never went through this with ds (7yrs) and I hope I don't through it again with my other ds (11 months)

Quoting la_bella_vita

 I've never been through this, bump!

Stay consistent.


 

mylilsunshine
by Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 9:04 AM

 I wish this on nobody, lol


Quoting kali_mom:

Knock on wood I have never had to deal with this. I say being consistent and sticking with the time outs are a must. You are the parent and she is the child. Control of the situation is a must. If she cooperates during the week then she gets an extra book read to her or 10 extra mins to play before bed time.


 

mylilsunshine
by Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 9:09 AM

 I do that aleady and still doesn't work. Sometimes she will pick an outfit with out hesitation and come morning all hell breaks loose. Or she will throw a tantrum the night before just picking an outfit. And then there's the outfit that is inappropriate, ex: bathing suit. lol

Quoting belindah:

 The night before give her a choice of two different outfits, this way she has some say in what she is wearing.  Keep "fun" things that she can only see while she is in the car, this way she looks forward to her special toy.  A picture book is great for this and you can pick up a variety of them cheap at the dollar store.


 

mylilsunshine
by Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 9:14 AM

 This might sound stupid but I didn't know there was such a thing. Her excuse was everthing felt tight or gave her a "wedgy". So that's why we went out a bought her all new clothes and shoes and made sure she likes them. We made sure that the clothes are tagless, if not we cut them off. But these clothes still bother her.


Quoting marisab:

shes sounds sensory and clothes may be irritating talk to dr about sensory processing disorder


 

mylilsunshine
by Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 9:23 AM

 The main thing is getting dress. DD only feels 100% comfortable in pantie, sometime a shirt and panties or footed pj's. She's pretty good about everything else. Only thing about eating food is that whatever she eats has to be intact such as if I gave her a bananna and part of it broke off she would throw a fit and throw the bananna away. Also if it has a wrapper then the wrapper has to be off completely before eating. Anyways thank you about the idea about warming up her clothes before getting dress. Hopefully this will work.


Quoting JasonsMom2007:

That's what I was going to say too.  Does she have any other sensory issues?  Does she have meltdowns that just seem extreme compared to other kids?  Does she have problems eating foods with certain textures, knowing if she's hot/cold, knowing when she's hungry/full?  Knowing if she has to urinate?  Is she senstive to lights, smells, or sounds that others seem to ignore?

They say that most people have some sensory problems.  If it's just clothes I wouldn't worry too much but if it starts to interfeer with her life check into it.

Something that helped my SPD kid was heating his clothes in the dryer before he put them on.  If he didn't get them on quickly they would be cold too bad.  He got dressed quickly because he wanted them warm!

 

Quoting marisab:

shes sounds sensory and clothes may be irritating talk to dr about sensory processing disorder

 

 


 

Roo1234
by Bronze Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 9:29 AM

I would recommend that one thing you should do is establish the habit that every morning we get up and get dressed before we do anything else.  Once you've shown her that there is no other option, she will develop the habit and the battles will subside.  

mylilsunshine
by Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 9:31 AM

Yeah you know you're kinda right. Doesn't matter where we are going, she doesn't want to go. But a part of that is still the clothes issue. For ex. she wanted to go to Chuck E. Cheese for her Birthday dinner. We said ok but you need to get dress and it took an hr just to get a loose fitting sundress and slip on shoes on her. And yesterday I had to drop off DS (7 yrs ) off at practice because DH was still at work. Well DD only had on a shirt and panties and refuse to put on bottoms.  She must have tried on 4 pairs of shorts and legging. I ended up taking her in footed pajamas. I've never taken my kids out anywhere in pj's before yesterday.


Quoting LindaClement:

Very likely because she doesn't want to go.

You can't punish her into wanting to go, and you can't threaten her into wanting to go. You can't, in fact, make her want to go at all.

Maybe she thinks you care more about what she wants than her dad does? 

It's pretty ordinary for 3yos not to want to spend their days away from their moms, and it's also pretty ordinary for them to want to be mostly or completely undressed.


 

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