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Why does every morning have to be a battle w/ her

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   Every morning before school is like torture for my 3 yr dd. Well actually it's every morning when she has to get dress and go some where. It has nothing to do with being early and doesn't want to wake up because shool starts at 9 a.m and and any appts or ect is always schedule later. The  problem is she doesn't want to where clothes.

   She refuses to get dress and keep the clothes on herself. I just wrestled with her a half hr ago, got her dress, left to get my ds dress too and when I came back 5 min later she was undress. She cries and screams and throws tantrums when it comes to clothes. We bought her new clothes and tried them on her and let her have some say so in what she wanted  so that way she's comfortable. Nope, she perfers just panties. 

We are now late for school. The only reason I'm on here and not trying to rush out the door is because ds (11 months) got cranky so im bf'ing him to sleep.

I've tried time outs and I feel like i'm being punish when she is on time out. I've tried talking to her in a firm and assertive voice. I've tried explaining why she needs clothes. Only thing that works is when my DH, her dad steps in. She listens and obeys him, she still cries but still gets dress. I've tried mimicking him. Well as you can tell no luck. Please any more suggestions?

by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 10:22 AM
Replies (21-29):
mylilsunshine
by Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 9:37 AM

 Agree! But this will happen and next thing you know is I'm doing laundry or something else in the house and she uses this opportunity to get undress. Then we are back at square one again. The only way she keeps her clothes on is when we are finally out of the house and stay out. Unless we go to a grandparents house and then gets undress there too.


Quoting Roo1234:

I would recommend that one thing you should do is establish the habit that every morning we get up and get dressed before we do anything else.  Once you've shown her that there is no other option, she will develop the habit and the battles will subside.  


 

Lynette
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 10:06 AM
1 mom liked this
My little sister was sensitive about her clothes when she was little. She was a 100percent cotton kid, nothing that had a waist(loved dresses). She had to wear her socks inside out because she could feel the seem( now stores sell no seem socks online). Absolutely no polyester. No tags. She never had any diagnoses, she is normal. I did read a book once that reminded me of her, she was a spunky kid. Book is called "Raising Your Spirited Child", when I read it I realized I was the spirited one and my child was just spunky. It's a great book I highly recommend to all parents.
My sister is an adult now and loves flip flops and toe socks, she never would have worn them as a child.
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Roo1234
by Bronze Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 10:09 AM

When she removes her clothes do you stop everything and put her back in her bed and tell her that she can't play or do anything until she is dressed again?  I did this with my child and it didn't take more than a day to get the message that if she wanted to be out of bed, she had to be dressed.

It is time consuming and I planned that it would be a battle so I made sure that I was mentally prepared for it.  I was actually surprised how little time it really took for her to get the message.  I had blocked out a week, just to be sure.


Quoting mylilsunshine:

 Agree! But this will happen and next thing you know is I'm doing laundry or something else in the house and she uses this opportunity to get undress. Then we are back at square one again. The only way she keeps her clothes on is when we are finally out of the house and stay out. Unless we go to a grandparents house and then gets undress there too.


Quoting Roo1234:

I would recommend that one thing you should do is establish the habit that every morning we get up and get dressed before we do anything else.  Once you've shown her that there is no other option, she will develop the habit and the battles will subside.  





cupomeow
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 10:10 AM

Cut the tags out of her clothes, put her socks on inside out so that the seams dont touch her toes. If she wears jeans try dresses or leggings. Everything sould be soft and without itchy seams. Try this for a few days, if it helps, she could have spd.

Momforhealth
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 10:12 AM

She wants to stay with you Mommy. :(  Get up early in the morning, spend some quality one on one time with her.  Do not rush her out the door. snuggle, read books, play, eat breakfast, and talk to her. Let her pick her clothes. Play peek a boo games so she knows you are coming back. If you can spend a little time with her at the daycare too.  Its cute but frustrating. 

orangeshirt
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 10:14 AM
That would be my suggestion as well.

Also dress her immediately before you leave so that she doesn't have time to undress herself. Buy things that are soft, with no tags, etc.


Quoting marisab:

shes sounds sensory and clothes may be irritating talk to dr about sensory processing disorder

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Lynette
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 10:19 AM
Want to add about the polyester thing. I personally can only wear a little of it and only in the winter. If it's a blend I can tolerate it in something like a sweatshirt. But I have to wear cotton underneath. And bathing suit oh my gosh a polyester liner makes me want to crawl out of my skin.
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LindaClement
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 11:36 AM

Some days, it really isn't worth the argument, eh?

Quoting mylilsunshine:

Yeah you know you're kinda right. Doesn't matter where we are going, she doesn't want to go. But a part of that is still the clothes issue. For ex. she wanted to go to Chuck E. Cheese for her Birthday dinner. We said ok but you need to get dress and it took an hr just to get a loose fitting sundress and slip on shoes on her. And yesterday I had to drop off DS (7 yrs ) off at practice because DH was still at work. Well DD only had on a shirt and panties and refuse to put on bottoms.  She must have tried on 4 pairs of shorts and legging. I ended up taking her in footed pajamas. I've never taken my kids out anywhere in pj's before yesterday.


Quoting LindaClement:

Very likely because she doesn't want to go.

You can't punish her into wanting to go, and you can't threaten her into wanting to go. You can't, in fact, make her want to go at all.

Maybe she thinks you care more about what she wants than her dad does? 

It's pretty ordinary for 3yos not to want to spend their days away from their moms, and it's also pretty ordinary for them to want to be mostly or completely undressed.




STVUstudent
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 11:57 AM

ah, toddler clothes... when mine were this age, they went through a period where they just flat out did not want to wear clothes.  The only answers I ever got was "it feels good" and "I like my skin."  Hey, sounds good to me... I would spend all day in my pajamas if I didn't have to leave the house.  What worked for us- we struck a deal.  They could pick their clothes out of two or maybe three outfits that I picked out, and, you get dressed and keep your clothes on, and when you get home from school, you can take them off.  If we were at home, they were usually in their underpants.  Once I started allowing this, the phase passed very quickly- a couple of months, and they moved into a hyper-modesty mode where they didn'y WANT anyone to see their underpants.  They understood that if they wanted their naked time, they had to be dressed when it was clothes time.

At three, a kid is pretty powerless... and they are trying to figure out how the family dynamics work.  They are also old enough to start learning about compromise.  Does it work every time?  Well, no, nothing works EVERY time... but most of the time, it sure did for us...

I was in the kitchen cooking dinner one afternoon, and the oldest came running in- I think she was just 4...  "Mommy, there are NAKED children on the trampoline!" followed by peals of laughter... she goes running back out... I follow... three naked children bouncing and tumbling, and laughing so hard I don't know how they didn't wet themselves...  SMH... "make sure you bring your clothes back inside when you come..." 

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