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Love and romance

Posted by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 1:19 PM
  • 4 Replies

Okay ladies I am going to make this as short as possible. My husband and I have been together for 27 yrs now and we keep having this argument. 

He says we don't have sex enough and I say we do. I have tried to tell him that "hey, I need some attention not just sex" he says that two different things. I say one is connected to the other. We barely talk to each other. We just discuss family things, the kids and watch TV. He doesn't like to do any of the things I like to do because it involves being around other people and I cannot stand doing some of his things.Fishing, hiking, shooting and out door stuff. 

So tell me Does one lead to the other or not? I think it does, because if I feel close to him, then maybe i would be willing to have sex more often. He says that I am not affectionate, well neither is he. We still kiss and hug every nite before bed and when we leave for work etc....

What do you think?


by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 1:19 PM
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by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 1:23 PM

It takes give and take. You don't like his stuff and he doesn't like yours then you need to find something that you can do together that doesn't involve the kids, family, or TV. I'm not a huge fan of car shows and DH isn't a fan of things like going to museums or zoos but we do the stuff for each other. The more time you spend doing things that make each other happy the more intimate you feel.

by Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 1:25 PM
Everything outside of the bedroom effects everything inside the bedroom. It is absolutely connected for me. And a lot of women.
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by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 1:34 PM
I agree with you that they are connected. You want emotional intimacy, he wants physical intimacy...but very often they lead to one another.

"A marriage will excel or languish based on the amount is attention it receives. Time is the currency of marriage."

"You'll see dramatic changes in your marriage when you focus on changing you more than you do changing your spouse."

Rather than him saying "I need more sex" and you saying "you need to do things that I like", if you both set out to please the other it'll make a huge different for you both!
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by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 3:20 PM

I think we are different from each other as men and women. Men need sex to feel connected and secure. Women need other things like a kind word, time spent, the garbage taken out, a note or date.

If two people care enough about each other, they should be willing to compromise. You should be willing to go hiking now and then, while he should be willing to say kind things to you, or go on a date or take care of your car, whatever does it for you.

You can also work on your own mindset. By reading sexy things or sending him notes, and so on, you can actually get yourself in the mood for intimacy.

I'm kind of guy-ish in that I want and need sex to feel happy and secure in a relationship. While my husband needs the words, hugs and care even though he fights the care a bit. LOL

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