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sister in law frustation vent**

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I feel a little bit mad about this and it makes me uncomfortable! The thing is that every time a big party is coming that my husband family is invited we have to watch our nephew, ( i like that he spends time with us but it always happens that a day before the party she asks us to watch him for the night and by the next day of the party here i am trying to get ready and waiting for his clothes o waiting for them to pick him up!) and it never fails she always sends her 4 kids with someone a day before the parties ( what for i don't know) but anyways, what it makes me loose it is that my kids were sick 4 days with really bad fever and a tonsillitis and i haven't had no rest it all! and they finally seem to feel better and i have to watch our nephew for the night and the next day we are going to a wedding, and there was another time that my kids were sick for a week and she send the kid over and he had a cough and mine were just getting better and after that they caught the cough!

I would like to straight up say! " you know what, i cant watch him" but i feel really bad because then she gets all hurt and doesn't let him come over or she stops talking to us for a while and tell our nephew we don't want him and stuff like that! I really don't know what to do! does anyone goes through something like this or had to put up with that before ?

by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 4:24 PM
Replies (11-20):
Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 4:11 PM

Oh, I'd be annoyed too. Next time she asks say that you LOVE to have him but only for x number of hours, as you have things you need to do.

cstargarner
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 4:27 PM

Yeah, that's not ok.  It's ok to say no, just don't say it rudely.  Babysitting isn't a right, it's a priveledge and if you ask too often or assume ppl will help, you'll run out of babysitters.  She needs to grow up and find a neighborhood sitter or something instead of assuming you'll always do it.  Does she watch your kids?  If so, then maybe trade off so it's not like you get the short end of the stick.  But if you don't want her watching your kids  (I understand bc i'm the same way with my son vs my nieces and nephew) then just say yes when you want to and no otherwise.  You didn't have the kids so it's not your responsibility to make sure she gets to go party.

kim8934
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 4:30 PM

no...see, that is pretty easy.  once you stop letting her take advantage of you, then it will stop.

NocturnesAngel
by Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 4:59 PM

I would say, "I'm really sorry but with the (insert whatever event is going on, Wedding, Birthday Party, etc.) happening I am unable to watch "insert Name here"

I'm sure you can understand all the last minute things that always come up with an (event, wedding, etc.) and trying to get everyone (Dressed & Ready, etc. ~Place whatever pertains to you here if dressed and ready doesn't fit) so that we can get to there on time.

Then give here and her kids a Hug & Kiss and leave to go do something else( if they are in your Presence) or if you are on the Phone or using Text, Facebook, E-mail, etc.  Write Something like: Please give the Kids  (Everyone) Our Love, Take Care, or Something Similar.

This way you aren't promising to do it another day, etc., you are actually telling her and her kids(family) that you and your family do indeed Love Them & you also Included her feelings By Stating:

I am sure you can understand all the last minute things that always come up with (an event, wedding, etc.) coming up and trying to get everyone (dressed and ready, etc.) so that we cam be there on time.


I hope everything works out for you hugs

mandylouwho
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 5:06 PM

Im sorry, but she sounds incredibly selfish and immature. You need to really put your foot down. She also sounds like she is manipulating you as well to get what she wants. I would explain that sometimes, its not a good time. If she gets mad at you, all you simply need to do is ignore it. She is trying to make you feel bad. Dont give into her needs. SHe sounds spoiled. I would stop it now.

mandylouwho
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 5:11 PM

"You ruined my second date night". IS she kidding? Who gets one date night let alone 2? Sounds like shes pawning her kids off to the highest bidder so she can go out kid free.

Sorry, but she sounds like an ass. Ill tell her so, if need be...laughing

Mama_Pollito
by Member on Apr. 26, 2013 at 12:55 PM

she'll never watch my kids or my other nephews, 3 days before i watched her son, my other nephew ask if could spend the night with his cousins and she said " no! i'm too tired" and she doesnt not watch my kids or my other sister in la kids it all.


Quoting cstargarner:

Yeah, that's not ok.  It's ok to say no, just don't say it rudely.  Babysitting isn't a right, it's a priveledge and if you ask too often or assume ppl will help, you'll run out of babysitters.  She needs to grow up and find a neighborhood sitter or something instead of assuming you'll always do it.  Does she watch your kids?  If so, then maybe trade off so it's not like you get the short end of the stick.  But if you don't want her watching your kids  (I understand bc i'm the same way with my son vs my nieces and nephew) then just say yes when you want to and no otherwise.  You didn't have the kids so it's not your responsibility to make sure she gets to go party.



Mama_Pollito
by Member on Apr. 26, 2013 at 1:07 PM


hahahaha thats what she actually does. she does it to me, my MIL and my other SIL, and then if we say the wrong thing she gets upset, cries to her kids telling them we are mean to her, thats why she doesnt like to hang out with that side of the family ( she is the wife of my brother in law) sometimes she even says we are ruining her marriage because he wants to spend time with his family and she does not feel comfortable around ( when she acts like that is because my MIL said she could watch her kids ) And one time she even got mad because my mother in law was holding my son first instead her daughter ( is always kinda hard with that because when i got pregnant a month later she got pregnant to so our kids are pretty close on age and she gets mad if my mother in law gives the attention to my kids first. I had even told my mother in law that maybe she should get her kids first so she does not throw a fit!

Quoting mandylouwho:

"You ruined my second date night". IS she kidding? Who gets one date night let alone 2? Sounds like shes pawning her kids off to the highest bidder so she can go out kid free.

Sorry, but she sounds like an ass. Ill tell her so, if need be...laughing



LizzieAnnesMom
by Member on Apr. 26, 2013 at 1:57 PM
Just say "you kno, i would love to, its always a treat to have him over, but we have all been sick and not only do i not want him to catch what we have, im afraid we just wouldnt be able to handle it. I hope you understand. Hopefully next time we will all be well enough."
Mama_Pollito
by Member on Apr. 26, 2013 at 2:48 PM


The funny thing is that i did told her that and she said " I dont care he i'll be fine he's not afraid to get sick "

Quoting LizzieAnnesMom:

Just say "you kno, i would love to, its always a treat to have him over, but we have all been sick and not only do i not want him to catch what we have, im afraid we just wouldnt be able to handle it. I hope you understand. Hopefully next time we will all be well enough."



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