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Please help me!

Posted by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 2:16 AM
  • 5 Replies

Hello moms,

SOS please!

My story..

I am a SAHM and I have a three year old and a four month old. When I had my first one, there was a death of a close family member which combined with baby blues and severe lack of sleep and sent me swinging into ppd. Lack of awareness and upport kept me from getting help for it. Life was not very good those days. My husband and I fought every day because he was very unsupportive and would not help me much with the baby at all. Our relationship was hugely affected because of all this. Slowly things got better as my daughter gradually grew. i was able to get out and o things of my interest and formed a good system that kept me going. Next pregnancy happened when I was not ready and now I have another little one. This time, I was determined to not let the same things happen again. I knew he does not like to help me in the nights, so the first two months were just me doing everything (he did help with my toddler). It was horrible, there were nights when I havent slept a single second, but i tried to stay happy and never complained. Thankfully i had my mom to help me out during the day so I could somehow do it. But now, baby is four months old and we are by ourselves. My baby would sleep pretty ok (3-5 hours in a stretch) until last week and i got around 4-5 hours of sleep every night. But all of a sudden, she has changed! She goes to bed by midnight after hours of rocking, wakes up within 20-30 of putting in the crib. Goes back to sleep after i nurse her, then again wakes up by one thirty and cries hysterically!! I'm at my wit's end! Days and nights are seamless, I am always rocking/nursing/changing diapers/walking the baby/doing any of the other baby chores. 24/7, without a break. Of course, I also do other chores to run  the household. My toddler's extremely demanding too, and she is pretty neglected which adds to the mess. My husband, though he helps, gets major time off. (never helped me duing the crucial first two months, then went on a trip abroad for two weeks with his parents, wants to go to the gym regularly , does outdoors, while i get no break whatsoever. He also gets angry if i complain). I used to be very fit, loved to exercise.but now, i have absolutely no interest in anything. I feel like this is the end of the road. I cannot hire a sitter because im not working and dont want o burden my husband. I had the baby in peak winter and that didnt help. Now the weather is warm, but i have no energy or time to drag myself outside. I am basically fat, exhausted, sleepless and unhappy. I know it will get better, but im starting to hate being a mom, i feel jealous whenever i see my friends who have no children. I am scared i will start resenting my children. please help me, is there any hope for me?

Thanks for reading, sorry about the long post....

by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 2:16 AM
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Replies (1-5):
sleepymommy87
by Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 2:21 AM
1 mom liked this
Cosleeping? Works for us, everyone gets sleep and makes nursing a breeze!
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dessertrose
by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 2:28 AM

Unfortunately, cosleeping did not work for us :( i toss and turn a lot and my baby is very sensitive to sounds. In fact im considering moving to a separate room

frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 2:56 AM

Get to a doctor to make sure you do not need to be treated with medication and get blood tests drawn to make sure you have the proper nutrients in your body for well being.  Even though you may not feel like it, going outside for minimum of 15 minutes could make a huge difference for you.   If you have to squirrel away money so that you can hire a babysitter and take a mommy day.  You need that once in awhile to recharge your batteries.   The 3 yr old is in preschooler age range now so perhaps see what is available for her during the day in way of school or something else for socialization.   The baby will feel your stress causing them to feel stressed out and getting upset more easily.

blucandie
by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 3:40 AM

Bare with me, thisis kinda all over the place with a lot of suggestions :) First, if you think you have ppd again, talk to ur dr. They can't help you if they don't know to. You don't necessariy have to take meds if u don't want to since u r nursing. There are other alternatives. Have you looked into Mother's Day Out programs? They are usually only 2-3 days a week for only about 4-5 hours a day & take babies from 6 weeks to right before kindergarden. Usually pretty affordable & worth every penny to give a break to have some you time or get a few extra things done or even just take a nap! . Tell your hubby it's either this or your sanity, lol! Also, have you started the baby on solids yet (rice cereal/ oatmeal?) or talked with your pediatrician about it yet? Maybe it's a growth spurt or teething getting her all worked up. Or has she learned or been working on any new milestones? That will keep them up at night until they master it, no lie! You need a break & if your husband doesn't see that then just flat out tell him. We did the cosleeping thing for a long while bc I nursed & it was just easier, but it has it's cons too. You sleep with one eye open so they don't roll out of bed or get under covers, etc. If you are in the same room now, she may be cluster feeding every time she wakes bc she knows u have the milk. If you aren't in the same room, she may go back to sleep. That or get ur hubs to go in there & put her back to sleep (as long as it's not time for her to eat) since she won't be looking for milk from him :) Definitely make it a point to get outside & take a walk or something f it's nice & sunny out. Will help with vitamin D & make u feel a little better. I highly suggest putting the 3 y/o in a stroller & the baby in a carrier (or both in a stroller if you ave one like that) & walk around the block before nap time or bedtime. It's relaxing for everyone. I would walk until my DD would fall asleep & then put her directly in her bed & she would sleep so good! Good luck!

Mommy2justone
by Mommy2justtwo on Apr. 20, 2013 at 10:28 AM


Quoting sleepymommy87:

Cosleeping? Works for us, everyone gets sleep and makes nursing a breeze!


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