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Crazy MIL!!!! She is SOOOO out of line!!!! *UPDATE*

Posted by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:37 PM
  • 17 Replies

Ok, So I am so frustrated and upset. I need to get this off my chest and see what you guys think! So last night I went to me niece's 4th birthday party. We were a couple hours into the party and my son was tired so I went into my niece's room to lay him down to sleep. I lay him down and turned around to leave and my SIL's MIL came in. (To clarify if that doesn't make sense.....she is my sister-in-law's husband's mother.)

Let me step back, to understand this you need to understand: My SIL recently went back to school. She attends 2-3 days a week and also watches our kids 1-2 times a week. This is ALL voluntary on her part, I would NEVER force anything upon her, we pay her for every day that she had the kids, even though she says we do;t have to. Also, we have a trip coming up. A very important trip (it's our honeymoon/vow renewal...long story)  

Ok, back to the drama: She says "Well,I hope (SIL) will be able to pass this semester". I replied "What do you mean? Or course she will she's doing great!" She then flips out on my saying that she doesn't see how she possibly can with how much I am abusing her and using her. She said that (SIL) would never say anything to me but I just treat her like crap, I'm a shitty person, and how DARE I leave the kids with her for two days while we're on vacation during her finals week. I told her that I would never abuse or use (SIL), I had no idea it was her finals week while we are on vacation and she VOLUNTEERED for the days she is watching them. There are a ton of people watching the kids, my parents, SIL, and some close family friends. SIL got to pick what days SHE wanted to watch the kids if any at all. I told the crazy lady that I think SIL is adult enough to manage her own schedule. She told me that I should change the dates of our trip (which is two weeks away and has been scheduled for months)!

This woman tore into me, SIL and BIL finally stepped in. I think it was completely inappropriate not only because we were at her granddaughter's 4th birthday party!!!!! But also because it is in no way any of her business!!!!!! Am I wrong? I was so upset, I was exhausted, I had worked very early that morning, it was just to much for me and I broke down, started to cry and left the birthday party. 

What do you guys think? Am I wrong? Was she out of line? This is just really bothering me. 

*UPDATE* I spoke to my SIL and she said she in no way feels used or abused, she says she loves having the kids over. They just play with her kids and it actually makes it easier for her to do homework since the kids are playing together instead of trying to get her attention. She told me that if she was not able to watch the kids on those days she wouldn't have picked them. The days work with her finals schedule and she is happy to be able to help so we can take this trip. She say that her MIL is waaaay out of line and she does not agree with anything she said. 


I'd also like to add another question. And I ask this because I feel that a big part of me being upset was that I don't think she has any right to even speak about this situation. What do you guys think about extended family butting into stuff like this. I mean, I am all about extended family. My husband's family is my family, all the way. But this woman is barely family! I mean my Sister-in-law's MIL? come on? How do you guys feel about someone in her position having a right to butt into our family plans? Also, do you think my SIL, or really ANY member of my husband's family, should have stepped in and helped me more here? I just felt so alone as this woman ripped into me....

by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:37 PM
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Replies (1-10):
aidyns_mommy
by Bronze Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:40 PM
weird.
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GOBryan
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:43 PM

I think that sometimes we get so tied up with our own lives, we don't consider the situation or life of others just because it's easier for us. This is not your fault if you didn't know but if your SIL is so giving, you may have to ask her questions about what's going on with her and see if maybe you need to step back from the picture to help her out. 

mama.samm.2.3
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:46 PM
1 mom liked this
I think she was way out of line. If your SIL has/had a problem with watching your kids. She needs to talk to you and your DH about it. I would just let it roll off your back. And maybe double check with your SIL to make sure she is still ok with it.
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Bmat
by Barb on Apr. 22, 2013 at 10:00 PM

I am sorry that this happened to you. It was inappropriate for her to bring it up like this. She should have mentioned it to your SIL and let her handle it.  I would ask your SIL what she thinks now, and if she has any problems with watching the children then that you can find someone and no hard feelings.

Raveyk
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 10:46 PM

See that's the thing! Me ans SIL talk constantly and I am always asking her if she's doing ok. Every time I need the kids watched I check with her like 3-4 times to make sure it's ok with her. So when we have such good, open communication, I did not expect all this craziness out of left field!

Quoting GOBryan:

I think that sometimes we get so tied up with our own lives, we don't consider the situation or life of others just because it's easier for us. This is not your fault if you didn't know but if your SIL is so giving, you may have to ask her questions about what's going on with her and see if maybe you need to step back from the picture to help her out. 


MrsApple
by Bronze Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 10:49 PM
1 mom liked this

Her MIL was WAAAAYYY out of line!Even if your SIL had talked to her and told her that she's having issues with babysitting for you and that she feels used by you,it's not the NIL's place to rant and rave at you about it!

MamaSnaps
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 10:52 PM

SIL needs to deal with her bat-shit crazy MIL and put her foot down. Regardless of whether you are or aren't abusing your relationship with your SIL it is NONE of her MIL's business and she needs to back the f off. 

thatgirl70
by Carin on Apr. 22, 2013 at 10:57 PM

It's none of her business. She sounds like someone who has nothing better to do than to stick her nose in other people's business. 

luvemboth
by Silver Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 10:59 PM
1 mom liked this
To answer your updated ques, I can see her butting in if sil vented to her about the stress of watching your kids combined with the stress of school. Mil wants sil to do well in school to better the lives of her son & grand kids. BUT, that's not what's going on here so mil was way out of line! In few & far between situations I can see extended family butting in, in a caring way to try to gently help out.

In your case tho, I think it was none of mil's business to begin with. If she thinks sil is taking on too much, she should of confronted her, not you.
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snowangel1979
by Silver Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 11:10 PM
I agree MIL was out of line but part of me wonders why she would say something.

I've heard you say SIL is fine with everything but how does BIL feel about everything? Maybe he's said something about having the children.
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