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Crazy MIL!!!! She is SOOOO out of line!!!! *UPDATE*

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Ok, So I am so frustrated and upset. I need to get this off my chest and see what you guys think! So last night I went to me niece's 4th birthday party. We were a couple hours into the party and my son was tired so I went into my niece's room to lay him down to sleep. I lay him down and turned around to leave and my SIL's MIL came in. (To clarify if that doesn't make sense.....she is my sister-in-law's husband's mother.)

Let me step back, to understand this you need to understand: My SIL recently went back to school. She attends 2-3 days a week and also watches our kids 1-2 times a week. This is ALL voluntary on her part, I would NEVER force anything upon her, we pay her for every day that she had the kids, even though she says we do;t have to. Also, we have a trip coming up. A very important trip (it's our honeymoon/vow renewal...long story)  

Ok, back to the drama: She says "Well,I hope (SIL) will be able to pass this semester". I replied "What do you mean? Or course she will she's doing great!" She then flips out on my saying that she doesn't see how she possibly can with how much I am abusing her and using her. She said that (SIL) would never say anything to me but I just treat her like crap, I'm a shitty person, and how DARE I leave the kids with her for two days while we're on vacation during her finals week. I told her that I would never abuse or use (SIL), I had no idea it was her finals week while we are on vacation and she VOLUNTEERED for the days she is watching them. There are a ton of people watching the kids, my parents, SIL, and some close family friends. SIL got to pick what days SHE wanted to watch the kids if any at all. I told the crazy lady that I think SIL is adult enough to manage her own schedule. She told me that I should change the dates of our trip (which is two weeks away and has been scheduled for months)!

This woman tore into me, SIL and BIL finally stepped in. I think it was completely inappropriate not only because we were at her granddaughter's 4th birthday party!!!!! But also because it is in no way any of her business!!!!!! Am I wrong? I was so upset, I was exhausted, I had worked very early that morning, it was just to much for me and I broke down, started to cry and left the birthday party. 

What do you guys think? Am I wrong? Was she out of line? This is just really bothering me. 

*UPDATE* I spoke to my SIL and she said she in no way feels used or abused, she says she loves having the kids over. They just play with her kids and it actually makes it easier for her to do homework since the kids are playing together instead of trying to get her attention. She told me that if she was not able to watch the kids on those days she wouldn't have picked them. The days work with her finals schedule and she is happy to be able to help so we can take this trip. She say that her MIL is waaaay out of line and she does not agree with anything she said. 

I'd also like to add another question. And I ask this because I feel that a big part of me being upset was that I don't think she has any right to even speak about this situation. What do you guys think about extended family butting into stuff like this. I mean, I am all about extended family. My husband's family is my family, all the way. But this woman is barely family! I mean my Sister-in-law's MIL? come on? How do you guys feel about someone in her position having a right to butt into our family plans? Also, do you think my SIL, or really ANY member of my husband's family, should have stepped in and helped me more here? I just felt so alone as this woman ripped into me....

by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:37 PM
Replies (11-17):
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 11:16 PM

Yes, she was waaaay wrong, you have every right to be upset, and no, it was none of her business. She's a crazy woman. 

by Bronze Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 12:04 AM

Take a deep breath, and then move on.  If you have talked with SIL and are sure she's happy to take the kids, then let it go. Sure you could spend a bunch of energy getting all worked up about what a witch SIL-MIl is, but what's that going to do besides waste your time and put you in a bad mood.  Don't make the drama any bigger than it is by blaming others in your family.  You are perfectly capable of saying that it's not her business and walking away.  No need to make a bigger deal of it. 

by Silver Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 12:33 AM

Quoting thatgirl70:

It's none of her business. She sounds like someone who has nothing better to do than to stick her nose in other people's business. 

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by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 1:57 AM
Yes she is if you think she is. Sometimes its better just to keep your mouth shut like she should have. It wasnt the time or place. Sometimes thats the only time you see extended family though. I can temember some real knock down drag out arguments when were all together at holidays.All tou can do is control yourself though really. I dont have any siblings on my side and my familys far away aside from my parents. My husbands mom and sister arent really open with me a whole lot but thats ok because they know my sisters life is not great because shes with a man has two babies not married and hes not divorced from first wife. So yah anyways try not to let her get to you it will just fuel her fire.
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 2:28 AM

Maybe SILs hubby said something to his mom about it. That's what it sounds like to me. Either way, it was out of line for her to confront you when she should have confronted SIL, if anyone. If SIL says it's fine then trust her on that but maybe sit down with her and her hubby and see if you can get to the bottom of it. SIL and your hubby both should have stepped in from the minute they knew there was a confrontation...SIL especially because it's HER MIL and her house.

by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 9:43 PM

thank you guys. I just really needed to kinda air that out I guess you could say. Thanks for the support

by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 9:50 PM

family drama. gotta love it

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