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In need of Unique parenting/discipline tactics (school-aged)

Posted by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 10:26 PM
  • 13 Replies
So my daughter is 7 and parenting her has never been easy. Its getting worse. At age 4 she was physically abusive to the whole family, younger brother and sister included. She has evolved into this mean, rude, manipulative little girl. she doesnt scare easily so threats/bribes dont work. over the years I have tried everything I have read about... talking, yelling, spanking, rewards (tangible & intangible), punishments (tangible & intangible), charts... you name it we've tried it. as of yet, NOTHING has worked :( I'm at a loss. She's beautiful, smart, caring, helpful, deep and ANGRY. HELP! I want to enjoy my child but I spend most of time trying to get a step ahead of her only to find myself 10 steps behind. At 4.5 she got mad at me and didnt talk to me for 5 days... will power... better yet, balls of steel lol I'm at a loss, she's so mean and pretty much only happy if she gets what she wants. If she doesnt get what she wants, we've all got hell to pay. I need unique advice, if your idea is something obvious I've probably tried it... give me your best shot... PLEASE!
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 10:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 10:27 PM
Has she had counseling or a psych eval???
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zboys
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 10:31 PM

Did you ask the pediatrician if he/she has any ideas or resources they can refer you to?

frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 10:32 PM

I am wondering if she has been evaluated as well.   Definitely do not give in to her demands.  You need to get the stronger steel set so she learns there is someone more strong willed then herself.  For me Taking away privelege for 1-2 days works well for dd or time outs when we are not home.  She is not usually violent though, just loud and bossy.

sabrtooth1
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 10:34 PM



Quoting atlmom2:

Has she had counseling or a psych eval???

I give that 2 thumbs up.  And the PARENTS need counseling, and parenting classes, as well.


Bleacheddecay
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 10:41 PM
1 mom liked this

She sounds a great deal like my girl. I didn't know it but my girl had ADHD. The hyper part was mostly verbal but sometimes physical as well. She would attack me at 3 or 4 upon returning from her "visit" with her toxic bio "father". She would also hurt her brother sometimes though I worked hard at not letting that happen but sometimes it did. School didn't catch it. I didn't catch it. I wish I had. It would have been nice to know what was going on and how to help make things smoother for us all.

MickiesMama
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 10:41 PM
She was evaluated at almost 5yrs old, diagnosed with ADHD. Which I dont buy because she only behaves this way at home. If she had ADHD she wouldnt be able to control it, in my unexpertice opinion. She also out-smarted the child psychologist within 3 weeks of sessions. she's seen 2 more with the same outcome so I gave up on that route. She knows how to tell them what they want to hear. We also went under a Homeopathic dr's care for a while which helped with night terrors and bed wetting but not with the behavioral issues. She also started trying to run away about 6 months ago (3 times so far)
cjsmom1
by Silver Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 10:49 PM
1 mom liked this
It sounds like more then just adhd. Find a psychologist and keep going to the same one for at least ten months. If she's manipulative they will eventually see it.
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MickiesMama
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 11:13 PM
We've both been to counceling, it worked for our relationship for the most part but both councelors tried to put me on antidepressents for post traumatic stress disorder and although I'm no hippy I'm def not into taking meds for prolonged periods of time for something I manage pretty well on my own. We've also tried parenting classes but they were so damn elementary that it was frustrating, I mean common sense kind of stuff ya know?
Quoting sabrtooth1:



Quoting atlmom2:

Has she had counseling or a psych eval???

I give that 2 thumbs up.  And the PARENTS need counseling, and parenting classes, as well.



JasonsMom2007
by Platinum Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 11:25 PM
Has she been evaluated for any sensory problems? I ask because my son was the same way until we got his spd diagnosed and started therapy. So angry and violent I was going crazy!
His triggers weren't ones that were easy to see.They are more consistent in daily life. Things like washing his face, artificial lighting, a lot of noise or background noise like a dishwasher running, etc. I didn't even realize he had triggers until I really started looking for them and I'm still finding new sensations that are difficult for him. Like he wasn't hitting the ball right at tee ball because he didn't want his hands to rub on the bat.
He is also very gifted and like your daughter he can fool anyone. It was 6 months after he started his charter homeschool (given we had already started therapy and we are only on campus 1-2 days/week) that his mentor teacher finally experienced first hand what I was talking about. She asked him nicely to set down the scissors that he was swinging around and he stopped just short of stabbing her hand with them (kiddie scissors thankfully). She later told me how shocked she was and how she wasn't sure she was going to be able to diffuse the situation. It can be so scary!
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stayathome510
by Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 11:39 PM

 If you have done all this, I mean this is alot...counseling with two counselors, parenting classes, etc. evaluation of your ds...how on earth do you think the average mom reader here can help?  Honestly, you need a more professional opinion for some real help.

Quoting MickiesMama:

We've both been to counceling, it worked for our relationship for the most part but both councelors tried to put me on antidepressents for post traumatic stress disorder and although I'm no hippy I'm def not into taking meds for prolonged periods of time for something I manage pretty well on my own. We've also tried parenting classes but they were so damn elementary that it was frustrating, I mean common sense kind of stuff ya know?
Quoting sabrtooth1:

 

 

Quoting atlmom2:

Has she had counseling or a psych eval???

I give that 2 thumbs up.  And the PARENTS need counseling, and parenting classes, as well.

 


 

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