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In need of Unique parenting/discipline tactics (school-aged)

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So my daughter is 7 and parenting her has never been easy. Its getting worse. At age 4 she was physically abusive to the whole family, younger brother and sister included. She has evolved into this mean, rude, manipulative little girl. she doesnt scare easily so threats/bribes dont work. over the years I have tried everything I have read about... talking, yelling, spanking, rewards (tangible & intangible), punishments (tangible & intangible), charts... you name it we've tried it. as of yet, NOTHING has worked :( I'm at a loss. She's beautiful, smart, caring, helpful, deep and ANGRY. HELP! I want to enjoy my child but I spend most of time trying to get a step ahead of her only to find myself 10 steps behind. At 4.5 she got mad at me and didnt talk to me for 5 days... will power... better yet, balls of steel lol I'm at a loss, she's so mean and pretty much only happy if she gets what she wants. If she doesnt get what she wants, we've all got hell to pay. I need unique advice, if your idea is something obvious I've probably tried it... give me your best shot... PLEASE!
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 10:26 PM
Replies (11-13):
MKSmom09
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 11:43 PM
1 mom liked this

 Ok, I am confused, if the child is acting out, why is the psychologist putting YOU on meds? Sounds like you might need a 2nd opinion. There is something that is causing your daughter's deep rooted anger and putting you on meds won't help.


Quoting MickiesMama:

We've both been to counceling, it worked for our relationship for the most part but both councelors tried to put me on antidepressents for post traumatic stress disorder and although I'm no hippy I'm def not into taking meds for prolonged periods of time for something I manage pretty well on my own. We've also tried parenting classes but they were so damn elementary that it was frustrating, I mean common sense kind of stuff ya know?
Quoting sabrtooth1:

 

 

Quoting atlmom2:

Has she had counseling or a psych eval???

I give that 2 thumbs up.  And the PARENTS need counseling, and parenting classes, as well.

 



 

terpmama
by Bronze Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 11:55 PM

Has she been iq (or whatever the test is at that age) for superior intelligence. I have seen that he smart kids get in just as much trouble if not more, than the slower kids.

kstchr
by Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 12:16 AM

That kind of behavior sounds like it's more than just ADHD. I'd suggest you keep trying with the counseling, find a counselor who specializes in anger issues. If there are any play therapists around you, I'd give that a shot...better for young kids instead of "talk" therapy. Is she in any anger groups at school? Does the school counselor have those? Also really push for her to be seen by a child psychiatrist who can diagnose what's responsible for all the violent, angry behavior, or at least go through the school psychologis - they could suggest where to start.  You're right in wanting to nip this behavior in the bud now, because it's likely to only get worse as she gets older.  The big thing I can say is don't give up!  If they try to tell you it's just a phase, or just ADHD, keep going after it. Also, it would probably be a good idea to document all the behaviors you're noticing...what sets her off (specifically), the time of day (could be a medical reason, say, low blood sugar or something), did she have enough sleep the night before? Perhaps she's allergic to an ingredient in food and her behavior's always worse after eating "xyz"?  Maybe a pattern will show up after some time documenting everything, who knows? Don't discount anything!!  I wish you the best of luck, as it must be terribly stressful for you/your family!

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