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A lil venting, and a lot of advise needed ASAP!!! Thanks on advance.

Posted by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:19 PM
  • 39 Replies

Hello, I am 36weeks today. I have preeclampsia. I am a single mama with a 5 year old at home with me 24/7 (she is homeschooled as well so literally she is with me 24/7) I do not have a reliable support system. I thought I had things setup, but they seem to be falling apart. My mom lives over an hr away, but travels often....she is going to be out of the country in a few days, my BFF lives about a half hr away but is really ill with kidney issue's and they think she may have cancer, my boyfriend ( this baby's father) has been not reliable, and has 2 old children (10, and 13) he is away visiting them every weekend. He visits us sometimes during the week with 'plans' to move home here once our daughter is born...then take things one day at a time. He does not drive though, so I am the one who has to pick him up when he is with us. Yeah, and that's the extent of my 'circle'. Well of course I have all those people who like to give their 2 cents, but are not willing to actually help out. I admit I am a strong person, BUT it would be sooooo nice to have some help right about now. I am supposed to. E on 'bedrest' however I HAVE to work.... Otherwise my children and I won't have a place to live, food to eat, a car, etc. I work pt 3 days a week right now in the afternoon...good job as a nanny. Kids are awesome, and I am able to rest when the younger one naps prior to the older one getting off the bud, so it works out good. My daughter goes with me to work, and typically is a huge help. 

So for the delivery my daughter is going to be there, and is excited. She is my 'breathing coach'. There needs to be an adult there with her though since she is under 18.... Again I thought I had it figured out BUT now....idk!!! And what happens E i am there for the 2-4days? She isn't allowed to sleep there but can spend day switch me there. I am wondering what I should do. Idk how to get a support system in place. Seems now that I have preeclampsia and NEED help nobody is around to help me....not that they were really there before, but I was used to doing it alone so I guess it didn't phase me as much. 

Sorry this is so long...guess I am venting, and also seeking advise. Now doctors are talking about inducing me soon because my baby's heart rate keeps dipping low, and it's getting dangerous. HELP!!!!! Any and all advise welcome.... Nd of course LOTS of prayers please!!!! Thanks

by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Homeschoolmom10
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:21 PM

Sorry for all the grammar errors. It's the auto corrector program on this phone. Lol I do know how to spell. Ha! 

hancex6
by Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:24 PM
1 mom liked this

You don't happen to live in MI?  I would help in a hearbeat, stay strong, and lots of prayers your way!

xoxRachelxox
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:27 PM

What about your daughters father? Could he take her while you're in the hospital?

Or, maybe have your bf watch her for you? I know he's visiting with his kids but maybe he could miss a weekend. You are in a jam and need his help.

AshleyOh7
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:39 PM
They really wouldn't let your daughter stay overnight if she had nowhere else to go? What are the people you nanny for going to do while you're in the hospital and recovering? Are you close enough with them that your daughter could maybe stay there? :/ I know it would cost money, but perhaps you could look on Care.com or somewhere for a nanny who could stay overnight with your daughter and maybe even with you when you are out of the hospital. If you have to have a c-section, you'll have a hard time lifting your daughter and the new baby, as well as a hard time getting around.

And btw- what kind of grandma plans a trip out of the country knowing that her daughter is going to be giving birth soon due to a high risk pregnancy and her granddaughter doesn't have anywhere to go?!
sabrtooth1
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 9:11 PM
2 moms liked this



Quoting AshleyOh7:  And btw- what kind of grandma plans a trip out of the country knowing that her daughter is going to be giving birth soon due to a high risk pregnancy and her granddaughter doesn't have anywhere to go?!

Perhaps, the kind of grandma who is fed up with her daughters stupid choices.  The kind of grandma who looks at her daughter...

who is now pregnant a SECOND time, by a SECOND sperm donor loser (whose ass the daughter drives around, btw, when he deigns to bless her with his presence), who has no education or career beyond being a PART TIME nanny, who lives a HOUR away from her, who VERY likely had preeclampsia the FIRST TIME but chose to get and stay pregnant AGAIN,  who has NO sitters or friends, and who has had 36 WEEKS to get things in order( and btw, what would she do with the kids if she was hit by a bus), 

and says...  ""I am outta here."

AshleyOh7
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 10:08 PM
3 moms liked this
Yeah but no matter the daughter's situation, whether you agree with her choices or not...I just don't understand how someone could put their own wants (not needs) above the needs of a child. It's the five year old who needs someone most, and this new baby will be even more helpless and need someone who can care for it if the mom can't while she's recovering. I don't care how fed up the grandma gets with her daughter or the situation- it's about the safety, security, and well being of her grandchildren. Why make the innocent children suffer for the "sins of the father," so to speak?


Quoting sabrtooth1:




Quoting AshleyOh7:  And btw- what kind of grandma plans a trip out of the country knowing that her daughter is going to be giving birth soon due to a high risk pregnancy and her granddaughter doesn't have anywhere to go?!

Perhaps, the kind of grandma who is fed up with her daughters stupid choices.  The kind of grandma who looks at her daughter...

who is now pregnant a SECOND time, by a SECOND sperm donor loser (whose ass the daughter drives around, btw, when he deigns to bless her with his presence), who has no education or career beyond being a PART TIME nanny, who lives a HOUR away from her, who VERY likely had preeclampsia the FIRST TIME but chose to get and stay pregnant AGAIN,  who has NO sitters or friends, and who has had 36 WEEKS to get things in order( and btw, what would she do with the kids if she was hit by a bus), 

and says...  ""I am outta here."


Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 12:16 AM
2 moms liked this

Do you have a compassionate bone in your whole body? I don't think so.



Quoting sabrtooth1:



Quoting AshleyOh7:  And btw- what kind of grandma plans a trip out of the country knowing that her daughter is going to be giving birth soon due to a high risk pregnancy and her granddaughter doesn't have anywhere to go?!

Perhaps, the kind of grandma who is fed up with her daughters stupid choices.  The kind of grandma who looks at her daughter...

who is now pregnant a SECOND time, by a SECOND sperm donor loser (whose ass the daughter drives around, btw, when he deigns to bless her with his presence), who has no education or career beyond being a PART TIME nanny, who lives a HOUR away from her, who VERY likely had preeclampsia the FIRST TIME but chose to get and stay pregnant AGAIN,  who has NO sitters or friends, and who has had 36 WEEKS to get things in order( and btw, what would she do with the kids if she was hit by a bus), 

and says...  ""I am outta here."



mamamiajk
by Platinum Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 9:46 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree lindalou907. God forbid she ever needs help! Hugs and prayers go out to you homeschoolmom10. Try reaching out to cunty health,church or womens support groups. I wish you the best.

Homeschoolmom10
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 9:50 AM
2 moms liked this


Wow!!! Tell me how you REALLY feel! Actually I have a double masters degree, I owned and operated my own business for over 7 years. I was married to my daughters father until I was diagnosed with cancer, and he left. Later we find out that my daughter was being abused by him. She is a survivor of CSA. At this point I HAD to stop everything and put 100% of my focus, time, energy into my daughters healing. The father of this baby I am pregnant with is a good man who is going through a tough time. We have been in a serious relationship for almost 4 years. I wouldn't say either one of these men were sperm donors, we were in committed serious relationships. It's not that I don't have friends, it's that I don't trust many people with my children which I would say is normal given how upside down our life has been due to the CSA. I live in a different state than my mom, that's why she is over an hour away. I am in a protection program because my ex husband is dangerous. That's another reason I can't just leave my 5 year old with just anyone. As far as my mom going out of the country her birthday is this weekend, and had planned this trip prior to knowing I have preeclampsia. Also my BFF is sick  and they think she has cancer, so it's hard for her to help out right now, she has two of he own children, and typically we are a great support for each other. My significant other (the baby's father) is away on the weekends with his older children, and this weekend is his oldests birthday...she is turning 13!!! She is at the age she doesn't want to see her dad with anyone, and I respect her space, so allowing them to have their own time is how I do that. It's tough to be in that step parent position. While my daughter looks to him as a dad figure, his girls were older and don't view things like that. I get it, and I respect it. I love all of our girls.  

So yeah, while I do feel your comment was judgemental, I understand you didn't have all the facts either. Perhaps now you'll see that things are NOT the way you assumed. 

Quoting sabrtooth1:



Quoting AshleyOh7:  And btw- what kind of grandma plans a trip out of the country knowing that her daughter is going to be giving birth soon due to a high risk pregnancy and her granddaughter doesn't have anywhere to go?!

Perhaps, the kind of grandma who is fed up with her daughters stupid choices.  The kind of grandma who looks at her daughter...

who is now pregnant a SECOND time, by a SECOND sperm donor loser (whose ass the daughter drives around, btw, when he deigns to bless her with his presence), who has no education or career beyond being a PART TIME nanny, who lives a HOUR away from her, who VERY likely had preeclampsia the FIRST TIME but chose to get and stay pregnant AGAIN,  who has NO sitters or friends, and who has had 36 WEEKS to get things in order( and btw, what would she do with the kids if she was hit by a bus), 

and says...  ""I am outta here."



MandaMommyof2
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 9:58 AM

What I was thinking........goodness.  I hope she doesn't have a daughter.... People make mistakes, make bad choices. 

Quoting Lindalou907:

Do you have a compassionate bone in your whole body? I don't think so.



Quoting sabrtooth1:



Quoting AshleyOh7:  And btw- what kind of grandma plans a trip out of the country knowing that her daughter is going to be giving birth soon due to a high risk pregnancy and her granddaughter doesn't have anywhere to go?!

Perhaps, the kind of grandma who is fed up with her daughters stupid choices.  The kind of grandma who looks at her daughter...

who is now pregnant a SECOND time, by a SECOND sperm donor loser (whose ass the daughter drives around, btw, when he deigns to bless her with his presence), who has no education or career beyond being a PART TIME nanny, who lives a HOUR away from her, who VERY likely had preeclampsia the FIRST TIME but chose to get and stay pregnant AGAIN,  who has NO sitters or friends, and who has had 36 WEEKS to get things in order( and btw, what would she do with the kids if she was hit by a bus), 

and says...  ""I am outta here."




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