Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Moved away from family..Now regret it.(long)

Posted by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 1:14 PM
  • 29 Replies
My husband is from Idaho and I am from wisconsin I met him in Idaho when I lived there a year and half and we had our first baby. He lost his job so we moved to WI cause his family wouldnt help and we stayed with my parents for a couple months til we were stable. We spent 4 1/2 years in WI my husband always wanted to move back to Boise but I think he was ok living in WI we had lots of fun he just had in his mind he wanted to go back to ID. I have so much family in Wisconson that was so supportive. My mom, then my dad and his wife, and my grandma and other relatives. I worked every other weekend and my parents helped out, my grandma picked up my oldest from pre-k many times and would take him to lunch and bring him home. If I took a class or wanted to just go to the store alone I could always ask my dad or grandma and they almost always could watch them. We were by family a couple times a week. We went to festivals, great america, baseball and football games, and did lots of things. I wanted to buy a house and my husband didnt want to cause he wanted to move back to Boise. So I agreed to move back.I just wanted to settle down. I wanted a house and if we ever did move I didnt want it to be after my son started kindergarten so I just agreed and tried to stay positive(which I was completely positive). My dad said I would hate it cause I wouldnt have the same support and I would just say we will be fine. Now my husband lost his job in WI and since we were trying to move he had a potential job in Idaho so we just moved back. I cry all the time. I am totally regretting it. We found a home to rent and wanted to try to buy in a year but I feel like I dont even care about buying a house here I just want to be back by my family. My husband has his parents and sister here but his sister and him are fighting since before we moved for no reason, and my husband was at the hotel sick when we were in boise and I met his parents out for dinner with my 2 boys. My oldest has lots of energy his mom told me "your scaring us" and then I asked if my husband used to be like that... her reply was he wasnt this bad. I can tell they wont be much help. My dad was at dinner too and mentioned their reactions. My in laws want everything perfect they also try to push us into catholic church and we dont go..Its not that we dont believe we just dont go. My kids are so used to be around so much love and I think that it is going to be very different.. I think i want to try it for a year and see how it goes than talk to my husband about moving back.. which I know wont go over well. He is so stubborn.He would also say things like well my parents dont get to see the kids but they didnt ever come to visit we were in WI for almost 5 years. They came once when we had our second baby cause my husband begged them, and another time for our wedding in June of 2011. And it is not cause of money they are well off. They just choose to not come for whatever reason. But things might change and I may like it here. I am just scared if I dont like it I am stuck. What would you do?
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 1:14 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Bleacheddecay
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 1:16 PM

I would give it my best try. I would also let my husband know how I'm feeling. Then if the year doesn't change things, I would work at getting home with my family.

Caitlinmari
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 1:24 PM


Quoting Bleacheddecay:

I would give it my best try. I would also let my husband know how I'm feeling. Then if the year doesn't change things, I would work at getting home with my family.


I have told my husband. We are currently at my brothers house which is 2.5 hours from boise since our rental isnt available for a bit and my dad is here too cause he helped us move. ON our trip here I had car problems so my car is at the mechanic 5 hours away. So the only time I am able to cry without people seeing is in the car on rides with my husband. He tells me to talk to my dad and mom. I dont want them to know I am not happy they kept telling me I wouldnt be and it will be hard, but I tried to stay so positive and I was before the actual move. MY husband was ok the first time I talked to him then the second time he was kinda mean to me. I just dont want to be stuck if I am not happy.

Bmat
by Barb on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:34 PM

Rather than dream of going back to WI, determine that ID is your new home and make it work.

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 4:52 PM
I hate WI and can't wait to move but we are not from here. We moved 9 times. We made it work each time we moved. Each place is home, wherever we were. Even tolerate this state till dh retires and we get out. Generations live here and no one moves. It is a unique state. You have to be more positive. Even here we have to be except we hate winter. This year has sucked and we have had zero spring too. Depressing too.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
AM-BRAT
by Amber on Apr. 24, 2013 at 5:59 PM
I can't relate as I never had help in the sense you talk about lol.

If you really can't deal, that sucks. Gl talking to your dh- sometimes you can't have it all my dear.

I work and school around dh's schedule and vice versa. We still somehow have enough time together and the girls are big enough to not need much.

Hope you figure it out...
Caitlinmari
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 8:49 PM
Where in Wisconsin are you? I lived between Milwaukee and Chicago. There was always something to do I would never want to raise my kids with no family and it seems my in laws won't be supportive.when moving back here they wouldn't let us stay with them we had to stay 2.5 hours away at my brothers.I'm almost tempted to move back. I rented from my mom and the condo is still available. I can't see myself being happy here. I wasn't happy before and being back reminds me of it


Quoting atlmom2:

I hate WI and can't wait to move but we are not from here. We moved 9 times. We made it work each time we moved. Each place is home, wherever we were. Even tolerate this state till dh retires and we get out. Generations live here and no one moves. It is a unique state. You have to be more positive. Even here we have to be except we hate winter. This year has sucked and we have had zero spring too. Depressing too.

Caitlinmari
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 8:54 PM
Before I moved I was very determined ID would be my new home I was so positive cause I wanted to buy a home and settle so I didn't really allow myself to see the negatives. I blocked it all out. Now I'm here and see the negatives. I never allowed myself to cry before the move just the night before when we said goodbye everyone was crying and my son had a very hard time so we laid in my bed together til he fell asleep. I told my husband I don't want to be stuck here and idk what to do.


Quoting Bmat:

Rather than dream of going back to WI, determine that ID is your new home and make it work.


atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 8:58 PM
Suburb west of Milwaukee. Everywhere but upstate NY was a million times better than WI. Everyone here is like you. Don't ever wanna move. The grass is greener, believe me. We lived in Italy also. Just curious why do you need to live with your inlaws??


Quoting Caitlinmari:

Where in Wisconsin are you? I lived between Milwaukee and Chicago. There was always something to do I would never want to raise my kids with no family and it seems my in laws won't be supportive.when moving back here they wouldn't let us stay with them we had to stay 2.5 hours away at my brothers.I'm almost tempted to move back. I rented from my mom and the condo is still available. I can't see myself being happy here. I wasn't happy before and being back reminds me of it




Quoting atlmom2:

I hate WI and can't wait to move but we are not from here. We moved 9 times. We made it work each time we moved. Each place is home, wherever we were. Even tolerate this state till dh retires and we get out. Generations live here and no one moves. It is a unique state. You have to be more positive. Even here we have to be except we hate winter. This year has sucked and we have had zero spring too. Depressing too.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Caitlinmari
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 9:11 PM
I want to be close to my relatives because growing up I was close to mine. And since we have lived there my kids have been so close to my family. We see them many times a week. We needed to stay with in laws because we came out here and our place isn't available til may. We don't even have jobs and our trip here we had to spend a few grand cause my car broke down. Not sure what we will do if the jobs don't come we will have no help.


Quoting atlmom2:

Suburb west of Milwaukee. Everywhere but upstate NY was a million times better than WI. Everyone here is like you. Don't ever wanna move. The grass is greener, believe me. We lived in Italy also. Just curious why do you need to live with your inlaws??




Quoting Caitlinmari:

Where in Wisconsin are you? I lived between Milwaukee and Chicago. There was always something to do I would never want to raise my kids with no family and it seems my in laws won't be supportive.when moving back here they wouldn't let us stay with them we had to stay 2.5 hours away at my brothers.I'm almost tempted to move back. I rented from my mom and the condo is still available. I can't see myself being happy here. I wasn't happy before and being back reminds me of it






Quoting atlmom2:

I hate WI and can't wait to move but we are not from here. We moved 9 times. We made it work each time we moved. Each place is home, wherever we were. Even tolerate this state till dh retires and we get out. Generations live here and no one moves. It is a unique state. You have to be more positive. Even here we have to be except we hate winter. This year has sucked and we have had zero spring too. Depressing too.



atlmom2
by Ruby Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 9:29 PM
I was close to my family too. Doesn't mean you can't move and visit. We would visit at least 2 times a year and family visited us. You can still be close. My girls are close with their cousins. I would never move without new jobs.


Quoting Caitlinmari:

I want to be close to my relatives because growing up I was close to mine. And since we have lived there my kids have been so close to my family. We see them many times a week. We needed to stay with in laws because we came out here and our place isn't available til may. We don't even have jobs and our trip here we had to spend a few grand cause my car broke down. Not sure what we will do if the jobs don't come we will have no help.




Quoting atlmom2:

Suburb west of Milwaukee. Everywhere but upstate NY was a million times better than WI. Everyone here is like you. Don't ever wanna move. The grass is greener, believe me. We lived in Italy also. Just curious why do you need to live with your inlaws??






Quoting Caitlinmari:

Where in Wisconsin are you? I lived between Milwaukee and Chicago. There was always something to do I would never want to raise my kids with no family and it seems my in laws won't be supportive.when moving back here they wouldn't let us stay with them we had to stay 2.5 hours away at my brothers.I'm almost tempted to move back. I rented from my mom and the condo is still available. I can't see myself being happy here. I wasn't happy before and being back reminds me of it








Quoting atlmom2:

I hate WI and can't wait to move but we are not from here. We moved 9 times. We made it work each time we moved. Each place is home, wherever we were. Even tolerate this state till dh retires and we get out. Generations live here and no one moves. It is a unique state. You have to be more positive. Even here we have to be except we hate winter. This year has sucked and we have had zero spring too. Depressing too.




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN