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He's almost 21, how do i kick him out? He won't go.

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I'm asking this for an older friend. She has a son almost 21. He, his 20 yr old girlfriend and their 2 yr old daughter live with her and her new husband. The boy got alot of money when his dad died. Spent it all in a year. Parents try and try to teach responsibility and have gotten him jobs, but he always quits. They have no where to go and REFUSE to leave, so there for they refuse to be kicked out. The girlfriends mom and all other family are drug useres. Meth. Thats why she came to live with them when she got pregnant. They have pawned everything that they have and some of his mom's stuff, they steal money from her and they will not leave. She feels sorry for her grandbaby, but something has to give. She feels the only way to get them out is to get the police invovled and make a huge siene. Any advice on how she can get them to leave without the police and what about the baby?

by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 3:21 PM
Replies (51-59):
by Member on Apr. 28, 2013 at 2:53 PM
Change the locks when they go out?
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by Member on Apr. 28, 2013 at 3:29 PM
1 mom liked this

My dad had an issue like that with my brother. He was stealing pain medication, money, and stuff from my dad's attic to sell for drugs and alcohol. My dad tried putting a padlock on his bedroom door, but my brother would get in anyway. So one weekend, my brother went off with his friends and my dad packed all his stuff up, put it on the covered porch, and changed the house locks.

by on Apr. 28, 2013 at 3:47 PM

My kids are so much younger so I don't know. But I think I would give a date that they had to be out, and nothing crazy like, have a place in 2 days. But I would say you have I dunno, maybe 5 months to figure out where you are moving to, to save up for a place, for a down payment and a first and last month's rent, to rent a moving truck, if they need one. Etc. And every couple of days I would remind them of the date, and say whether you have a place to go or not, you need to be out by this date. I would be bringing home boxes too, and say here I picked these up so you can start packing, etc. I would also call the police the VERY next time ANYTHING went missing and I would tell them up front. If something goes missing, money, any of my things, etc, I am calling the police and I am pressing charges, and if you two end up in jail, I am going to CPS for custody of my grandbaby. PERIOD. And I would follow through too. Because if they don't follow through, well in my experience empty threats don't go anywhere.

by Member on Apr. 28, 2013 at 4:25 PM
About where to love have her look up shelters in the area, usually after.30 days they help them move into transitional housing.
by on Apr. 28, 2013 at 4:33 PM
1 mom liked this

some times all a grown kid needs is a boot to the butt to get them out of the nest and doing right.

he wont keep a job because he does not have to mommy gives him food and shelter, he can steal her stuff if he wants other things, she would not have her son arrested so whats the harm. that is his thought process so she needs to make him think she will not give him a place to live and she will call the cops if he takes her stuff. there are homeless shelters and he can find a place to stay if he is desperate but she needs to show him he is not the boss.

by on Apr. 28, 2013 at 5:39 PM

Give him a month's notice, in writing, that he needs to leave. If he doesn't, go get an eviction notice, and then if he still doesn't leave, the sheriff will come and escort him out.

by on Apr. 28, 2013 at 10:01 PM
You have to evict them
by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 7:51 AM

You can't want to kick them out and then give a damn where they go. I think your friend is having an inner conflict. She has to rid herself of the guilt open the door and throw his shit in the street. If he pawned my items I would have had him arrested and his baby taken by the state.

Sometimes parent's have to use tough love. Does she own the home that they live in? I would wait until the lease was up and move out and don't leave a forwarding address.

by Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 7:53 AM

Give them a deadline of say 3 months to get jobs & an apartment. Then after the deadline has come change the locks when they're out. If they haven't found a place, file for emergency custody. Wish her good luck! 

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