OH boy...where to start?
Well, I suppose I will give some background. AP and MP have lived with their paternal gma for the past 8yrs. During this 8yrs they endured emtional/verbal abuse, manipulation, etc etc in the home. Along with that, they had to also deal with the grown-ups having a "holier than thou" and "it's everyone else's fault" attitude, as well as being forced to lie FOR the adults TO authorities, judicial, and any professional that the adults came in contact with, so that they can look good and mom and/or the maternal side looked like monsters. Their father has bi-polar and tried to commit suicide twice, VERY manipulative and controling...can you geuss what his mother and father are like?? lol Not only that, but having to hear how I (mom) screwed up thier lives/how manipulative/how i have mental problems...and how I am the cause of all of their emotional problems...(no i am NOT saying that ALL of my girls problems are THEIR fault. alot of soul searching on my end. I know where i messed up) I should say that the girls have been able to keep fact from fiction while living there...they saw through the lies they were being told.
The paternal gma couldnt keep up pretenses as the county started seeing through what I have been saying for the past 8yrs. They are toxic. Gma refused to take any accountability (or admit wrong doing)for the problems they did have a part in and decided to transfer custody back to me. In late Feb 2013...I was granted custody back!! :))
Now lies the issue...I have not parented AP for 8yrs. Not only am I parenting a teenage girl with the normal insecurities, but I am parenting one that cuts and purges and who loathes the sight of herself. AP has been cutting since 2007 and purging for the past couple years. She has severe depression. She is on medication. She HATES her body (fat/ugly). She is 5'9" and weighs about 150. She definitely IS NOT FAT! I am just terrified to discipline her because if i do...will she cut?? New school. Learning how to live with mom. Transitions... tough year for her.
I am consistantly told by other around me that she is playing the "depression" card to make me feel guilty. that she knows what she's doing. Yes, I have A LOT of guilt because of why they were living with gma. I love her soooo much that it frustrates me that i cant help her fix her problems. I have an in-home parent facilitator who comes out weekly to help me with coping skills for me and her (AP). We also have therapy and i am looking into DBT for AP.
She is the smartest, gorgeous, funny, outgoing...etc girl i know.
What are some suggestions on discipline? Any questions or comments are welcome.
THANKS for reading!
on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:05 AM