Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

what's going on?

Posted by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 8:48 PM
  • 3 Replies
Dh and I decided to homeschool our kids, and since I stay home, most of the day to day schooling falls on me. I don't mind, I like to do it, but dh volunteered to do the music education(required by the state on a weekly basis) and piano lessons for our son. I have always done organized preschool with ds, and now with my youngest too. But ds will be officially registered with the state this coming September as a kindergartner. I am due with number 3 in September, so ds and I have been working really hard to get a solid routine down these past few months so we are both comfortable and prepared later when it actually counts. We go to a homeschool center for extra classes and support. Here is the issue. Dh is also going to school for an engineering degree, and working a second shift job. He is super busy and I try to be really supportive and aware of the fact that he is working really hard. I noticed dh was not really keeping up with his end of the bargain. The music lessons are so inconsistent, ds can't remember from one lesson to the next what he has already learned. So, yesterday after putting the kids in quiet time I went to talk to dh. This is what I said "I was hoping we could talk about ds music lessons." Dh immediatly got defensive and cut me off, he swears he has been doing the lesson at least once every two weeks, and wanted to know why I was being so critical. I tried to explain my side, reminding him it should be a weekly scheduled thing, and I am trying to prepare for new baby etc. I also wanted to let him know that if he was too busy or stressed with school there is a music teacher at the homeschool center who will teach ds at a reasonable rate. Dh flipped out and started yelling at me that he doesn't appreciate me "threatening" to take ds somewhere else and paying for lessons! I was not threatening, I was trying to take a bit of pressure off and let him know it is ok if he just doesn't want to do it. I would much rather have ds be taught by his dad. Dh then yelled at me that I would pay someone else to do everything if I could. So not true! The only thing we pay for right now for ds is weekly swimming lessons at the Y, and its a one time payment for a 10 week session! I came away from the whole thing so hurt and confused. It is not like dh to be this way, and he hasn't looked at me or spoken to me since this happened yesterday. He intentionally left his phone at home so the boys and I couldn't do our nightly phone call to daddy. I guess I'm just venting, and trying to let go of the things he said, but it was just so hurtful :(
by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 8:48 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-3):
JoeMax
by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 9:20 PM
Bump!
DaniandTom
by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 10:25 PM

Sometimes it's not what is said so much as it is how it's said. Perhaps your tone sounded accusatory to him...and perhaps he knows he is falling down and is feeling guilty. Instead of saying "I want to talk to you about the music lessons" try "WHEW! I don't know about you, but this homeschooling is a lot more work than I thought it would be! Sometimes I feel like I can't keep up with it all. Do you ever feel like that?" It may make it a little easier for him to confess to you that he just doesn't have the time to get it done and he could use some help or that he needs someone else to take over the job. 

Bleacheddecay
by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 10:25 PM

*HUGS* I'm so sorry. He just doesn't want to face how little he is doing for homeschool.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN