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If spanking's so harmful, why do you do it?

 So I just read this article on how harmful spanking is and how the US is the #1 leader in spanking for discipline.

If you spank, why do you do it?

If you don't spank, why don't you and what do you do for discipline?

by on May. 2, 2013 at 1:18 PM
Replies (31-40):
zacmacsmomm
by Member on May. 3, 2013 at 8:50 AM

I don't  believe that a swat on the ass is harmfull, never have.But I don't believe it sould be a main form of punishment, and YES I said punishment.  Kids need to learn there are negative consequences for bad actions.

momamanda
by Member on May. 3, 2013 at 9:28 AM

My 7 and 9 year old do not need to be spanked anymore, My 5 year old only gets spanked on last resort,like when I've put her in time out and she won't stay there she gets popped. it usually only takes 1 pop and she stays.

I have popped my 7 and 9 year olds mouths for talking back to me though. Just a quick pop on the lips, It scares them more then anything.

My opinion on spanking is that as long as you are spanking for the sake of Discipline and NOT because you are angry then it can be effective. If you are spanking because you are stressed out and angry then that is wrong.

 If I feel Angry or out of control I will not spank them I'm not trying to hurt my child I'm trying to teach them to respect my authority. Whether you agree with me or not this is what I believe in. Although I am interested in reading the article.

HaileysMom07180
by Bronze Member on May. 3, 2013 at 9:29 AM

we spank, not very often, its usually a last resort kinda thing and now that dd is 6 we can talk to her more and she understands more.  spanking only happens about 3 or 4 times a year

CameronsMommy23
by on May. 3, 2013 at 9:33 AM
We spank as a last resort. It doesn't happen often. Our oldest has ADHD and I'm not going to spank him for being hyperactive! Time outs or taking away privileges is an effective punishment for him. His 2 yr old twin siblings usually get time outs also. They may get a spanking every now and then for continuing to do something that may really hurt them like climbing on tall furniture or jumping off furniture. Lol
CameronsMommy23
by on May. 3, 2013 at 9:35 AM
(I don't believe a spanking is harmful as long as it's not hard and always a last resort.)
laparla
by on May. 3, 2013 at 10:15 AM

Children understand why it makes sense, it's just adults that claim not to. 


Quoting jojo_star:

See it however you makes you feel better, but an adult hitting a child is violence. If a child hits a child, it's violence, adult hits and adult, violence, yet when an adult hits a child, it suddenly is no longer violence and it's considered ok? Yes, that makes total sense.

jojo_star
by on May. 3, 2013 at 10:16 AM

Yes, I'm sure all children understand why their parents can hit them, but the child can't hit anyone. 

Quoting laparla:

Children understand why it makes sense, it's just adults that claim not to. 


Quoting jojo_star:

See it however you makes you feel better, but an adult hitting a child is violence. If a child hits a child, it's violence, adult hits and adult, violence, yet when an adult hits a child, it suddenly is no longer violence and it's considered ok? Yes, that makes total sense.


ZsMommy
by on May. 3, 2013 at 10:17 AM


Quoting Retrokitty:

I don't spank. To me its hypocritical. We tell our kids not to hit then hit them. Also I've done a lot of research on it an all the new research is against using it as a form of discipline. I believe in natural an logical consequences, teaching the child and talking to them. I know a lot of people make fun of the "talking to them but its actually proven to work.

This.

idunno1234
by Member on May. 3, 2013 at 10:26 AM

While a young child will not suffer lifelong trauma from an occasional swat on the butt, what gets me are the parents who say it is a necessity.

What it should be is something we move away from, not justify.  I can count on one hand several times the amount of times I hit all four of my children and each time I waited until I was calm (because YES, I WAS PISSED AND SPANKED FOR MY SAKE, NOT THEIR'S), apologized for my obvious lack of control and then addressed the behavior that brought it about. 

Spanking is virtually never necessary and those that feel otherwise are simply ignorant as to how to achieve the desired immediate goal with your children and in the long run, raise them to be successful, respectful adults without resorting to hitting them.  Or worse, there are those who know better but simply don't care.

meg4763
by on May. 3, 2013 at 10:26 AM

I think it depends on what works for each individual family and child. Time outs were never effective, but a light spanking over clothes, not bare-bottom, usually was effective. Now that our son is six, taking away games or certain privileges works better than anything, and we haven't spanked him in almost two years. I was spanked about a handful of times that I remember when I was little, and I deserved it for being a little brat.  I think it is crap that people say you will teach them that hitting is ok. Well a spanking is different than getting hit or beat! You have to have discipline that works whatever your teachable method is. I do not believe spanking with anything other than your hand is acceptable or necessary though, just my opinion.

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