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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Am I weird for allowing my kids to do things for themselves?

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I ask this because my neighbor is always so amazed that my 2 and 3 yr olds can get their own water from the sink or they get their own snacks after asking for them. I made cleaning the house fun for them because they love to vacuum so when they ask to vacuum i tell them they have to pick up the floor first and they actually doi it.

Its like he expects my kids tobe waited on hand and foot and I figure at 2 and 3 they are showing that they want to do things for themselves so I figure let them as long as what they are doing isnt going to put them in harms way. I feel like a very overprotective parent when it comes to them like when we are out I dont let them more than about 4 feet from me unless we are at the park and even then i am walking around the play equiptment keeping my eyes on both of them all the time. So when I let them have independance at home is that weird?   My husband thinks its great that they go get their own cups and they get the juice and bring it to him saying "please" especially my daughter who is 2 and talking on her terms only. He loves that they want to help with the laundry because they get to put the coins in (I have a commercial washer that came from a laundramat). We supervise them when they want to do these things but if they want to learn and they love doing things for themselves and they get to feel like they helped I think its a win for all of us.

So I guessI wonder how much independance do your kids have?

by on May. 2, 2013 at 9:47 PM
Replies (11-20):
frndlyfn
by Platinum Member on May. 2, 2013 at 10:34 PM

I think that it is great you encourage freedom at home but they understand in public they need to be close to you.   I have been working on that with dd who is 7.  She has a few delays so i supervise her pouring juice and making her own snacks.  She also likes to sneak chocolate so she needs to ask before going to fridge.

Bookwormy
by Member on May. 3, 2013 at 9:35 AM
1 mom liked this
This is hilarious!


Quoting 20ACE13:

Yup thats exactly it. Its kind of a funny story and I joke the story officially made us redneck, we were given a goat which I hated a billy goat at that with hornes. THe goat lived here like 8 months and thought he was oneof our dogs.One day our trash man came by (he is the neighbor actually lol) and his mom was with him she asked about the goat and wanted him so a few weeks later when my washer went up she offered this one she got at an auction and when we got it I had like 8 loads of laundry to do and couldn't find a quarter to save my life LOL



Quoting GleekingOut:

Just a question - with the washing machine - do you just reuse the coins over and over again? And I think it's great :) I love working with kids and we say "Packing up time!" and they rush to be the first ones done with their area and to come and sit on the mat. It's brilliant.





Bookwormy
by Member on May. 3, 2013 at 9:36 AM
Independence is great!
CameronsMommy23
by on May. 3, 2013 at 9:44 AM
We let our 2 yr old twins "help" wherever possible. They also pick up their toys and we're starting them on other things like helping to put away pans or help wash themselves. They dress themselves and put on their shoes etc. Our oldest is 7 but he has left sided weakness from a stroke so he isn't quite as independent in some areas like getting dressed alone. He does help with cooking/baking and has to pick up toys and such.
atlmom2
by Ruby Member on May. 3, 2013 at 9:45 AM
2 moms liked this
Oh this is ever so true in todays society. We are raising a generation of wimps. We need to nip this crap in the bud and get back to where we used to be in raising kids. Everyone doesn't win a trophy!!!.


Quoting Roximoxi:

The kids who know how to function on their own are the ones who will continue to push this society forward.  We need hard workers.  There are so many parents who coddle their children, over protect them, do every little thing for them... it is creating a new generation of lazy, non-thinkers.  Keep pushing your kids - it makes them achievers!  Be PROUD that your child can do something that other much older kids cannot.


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anotherandree
by Inga on May. 3, 2013 at 9:48 AM

No way!  

I have a neighbor whose daughters are 8 and 10 and she still gives them a bath! O.O

ali840
by Member on May. 3, 2013 at 9:56 AM
1 mom liked this
I just read an article about what is causing our kids to have such an air of entitlement about them, and the reason stated was because they're so used people doing everything for them. If they're physically able to do something, they need to do it for themselves. My 9 year old cooks his own eggs for dinner almost every night (he's a picky eater) and my 5 yo can get snacks, drinks, dressed all by himself, so why would I do it for him? Like a pp said, I have my own stuff to take care of!
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budgie1117
by on May. 3, 2013 at 10:06 AM
I never understand parents who insist on doing everything for their little ones...isn't our job as parents to help them grow into independent adults? That starts early. I try to let my kids do anything they say they want to do themselves (car seat buckles, pouring drinks, making beds, folding clothes, etc...) within reason, of course. Nothing wrong with it, in my opinion.
budgie1117
by on May. 3, 2013 at 10:08 AM
My stepdaughter's mother was still bathing her when she was 11! ELEVEN!!!! She was shocked when I told her she showered herself when she was at my house.


Quoting anotherandree:

No way!  

I have a neighbor whose daughters are 8 and 10 and she still gives them a bath! O.O


atlmom2
by Ruby Member on May. 3, 2013 at 10:12 AM
I see more and more mothers who don't want their kids to grow up. Too many Mom's today can't deal with children growing up. They stunt them. They cry and freak which is just not normal. Parents should be happy about children growing and changing.


Quoting budgie1117:

I never understand parents who insist on doing everything for their little ones...isn't our job as parents to help them grow into independent adults? That starts early. I try to let my kids do anything they say they want to do themselves (car seat buckles, pouring drinks, making beds, folding clothes, etc...) within reason, of course. Nothing wrong with it, in my opinion.

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