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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Am I weird for allowing my kids to do things for themselves?

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I ask this because my neighbor is always so amazed that my 2 and 3 yr olds can get their own water from the sink or they get their own snacks after asking for them. I made cleaning the house fun for them because they love to vacuum so when they ask to vacuum i tell them they have to pick up the floor first and they actually doi it.

Its like he expects my kids tobe waited on hand and foot and I figure at 2 and 3 they are showing that they want to do things for themselves so I figure let them as long as what they are doing isnt going to put them in harms way. I feel like a very overprotective parent when it comes to them like when we are out I dont let them more than about 4 feet from me unless we are at the park and even then i am walking around the play equiptment keeping my eyes on both of them all the time. So when I let them have independance at home is that weird?   My husband thinks its great that they go get their own cups and they get the juice and bring it to him saying "please" especially my daughter who is 2 and talking on her terms only. He loves that they want to help with the laundry because they get to put the coins in (I have a commercial washer that came from a laundramat). We supervise them when they want to do these things but if they want to learn and they love doing things for themselves and they get to feel like they helped I think its a win for all of us.

So I guessI wonder how much independance do your kids have?

by on May. 2, 2013 at 9:47 PM
Replies (41-50):
kgalvano
by Member on May. 3, 2013 at 10:30 PM

i think that it is good. im the same way with mine.

AuntyEm774
by Bronze Member on May. 3, 2013 at 11:34 PM
1 mom liked this
Independence is an awesome thing! All kids need to learn to do things for themselves and it is never too soon to start, especially with supervision.
godsgirl26
by Bronze Member on May. 3, 2013 at 11:38 PM
Your neighbor would not like me. My kids do things on their own all the time.
alexis_06
by AnnaLisa on May. 4, 2013 at 1:03 AM

 i think thats awesome that your kids do that! my daughter used to be like that (loving to help) shes 9 now, and doesnt find it as much fun..LOL

Lindsay4Ambit
by on May. 4, 2013 at 1:18 AM

My 17 month old gets his own snacks, and helps clean. He understands a lot more than he can say, but he's picking up more and more! Isn't it great to watch them grow and learn?! I'm so proud of him. He throws his diapers away when I change him, brushes his own teeth, and is learning to bathe himself. 

Delta.Dawn
by on May. 4, 2013 at 5:28 AM

I think Independence should be taught young. As long it isn't hurting the child then why not. My kids were starting to pour their own drinks, getting their own snacks , cleaning up their toys and making their beds at age 3. DS1 is going to be 13 and knows how to do his laundry , cook , clean up the house, clean his room , make his bed, do outside chores along with keeping straight A's in School. I am starting to teach DD how to cook ( the same age as I taught DS1 she is 6 will be 7 in Oct) and she knows how to keep her room clean , pick up her toys, she does light house cleaning and rakes the grass after it is cut , feeds her animals and she also is keeping straight A's in School. DS2 on the way will be taught young as well.

Also wanted to add I was taught if you are old enough to make messes you are old enough to clean them. My dad is Army all the way so our rooms had to be tip top shape at all times besides us sleeping at night. My mom was the one who taught us  how to cook early. They wanted us all to learn to be independent so that we carry it on in adult life and not rely on others. Gave us good work ethics.

Basherte
by Bronze Member on May. 4, 2013 at 7:43 AM

My son is perfectly fine with mommy doing everything, but I don't allow that anymore. He needs to learn that he will be fine without me. Meaning that he can do things for himself. He's a big boy. 

I think you are doing the right thing. 

I had to teach my husband how to do dishes, laundry, clean house. Because his grandmother raised him and did everything for him, then when he turned 18 expected him to magically know how to do everything and want to do it for himself, though she spent 18 years doing it all for him.

CafeMom Tickers
pinkcsmtlgy
by on May. 4, 2013 at 8:25 AM

My boys love doing things for themselves.

LuvMommysBabies
by Bronze Member on May. 4, 2013 at 12:30 PM
Mine are 2 and 3 and can get their own snacks, make their beds, they clean up their toys in their rooms.
mcknitro
by Member on May. 4, 2013 at 12:39 PM

I think independence is good.  Your raising children, who will someday be adults, and no one is going to wait hand and foot on them as adults.

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