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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Am I weird for allowing my kids to do things for themselves?

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I ask this because my neighbor is always so amazed that my 2 and 3 yr olds can get their own water from the sink or they get their own snacks after asking for them. I made cleaning the house fun for them because they love to vacuum so when they ask to vacuum i tell them they have to pick up the floor first and they actually doi it.

Its like he expects my kids tobe waited on hand and foot and I figure at 2 and 3 they are showing that they want to do things for themselves so I figure let them as long as what they are doing isnt going to put them in harms way. I feel like a very overprotective parent when it comes to them like when we are out I dont let them more than about 4 feet from me unless we are at the park and even then i am walking around the play equiptment keeping my eyes on both of them all the time. So when I let them have independance at home is that weird?   My husband thinks its great that they go get their own cups and they get the juice and bring it to him saying "please" especially my daughter who is 2 and talking on her terms only. He loves that they want to help with the laundry because they get to put the coins in (I have a commercial washer that came from a laundramat). We supervise them when they want to do these things but if they want to learn and they love doing things for themselves and they get to feel like they helped I think its a win for all of us.

So I guessI wonder how much independance do your kids have?

by on May. 2, 2013 at 9:47 PM
Replies (61-69):
MyStarLight
by on May. 5, 2013 at 5:42 AM
Your neighbor would call cps on me then lol
my DD washes dishes helps with laundry
she makes herself sandwiches. She will even help me all around the house.
She is only not allowed to use the stove or the oven at all
When using the microwave she is supervised
brittany208
by on May. 5, 2013 at 9:29 AM

I think that's great. I need to let my DS be a little more independent. I push it in some ways, but not enough in other ways

Bmat
by Barb on May. 5, 2013 at 9:51 AM

I encouraged independence in my children, too. I was surprised when some other moms I got together with were doing so much for their children that the children could have done.

Basicrose
by Member on May. 5, 2013 at 9:52 AM

omg! what do your neighbors know! i think they need to keep their nose out of your business! they could just be jealous b/c maybe they feel spoiling their kids is the way to go. who knows.  anyhoo, i think its great! at that age, they LOVE to do things for themselves..."i'm a big kid! :))"  I would not worry. every family is different. really, does it really hurt a kid to teach them responsibility at a young age?  i remember my mom telling me that she was cooking for her family of 12 siblings + 2 parents at the age of like 10. how do you suppose she learned? just think, you are giving them something wonderful.... independence.  like you said, as long as it doesnt harm them...whats the big deal? 

ScrChk23
by Amanda on May. 5, 2013 at 2:36 PM

 Nope.  We encourage our boys to do things for themselves. 

PandTsmomjuly
by Silver Member on May. 5, 2013 at 2:46 PM

My kids are 9, 5, and 3 and they are very independant. The 9 year old is learning how to cook in the micro, the 5 year old LOVES making his own toast, and the 3 year old gets her fruits and drinks by herself. I also make them put away their own clothes, wash dishes, wipe the table, pick up toys (inside and outside ones), feed the cat and fish, scoop the cat litter, take out the trash, and a bunch of other small chores.

bookdragon
by on May. 5, 2013 at 5:33 PM

 If they want to help let them, it won't hurt them. My 4 kids started helping themselves at early ages as well. They have become very well behaved, self-sufficient people. My girls are 21 & 19, my boys are 14 & 11. They do alot on their own & get upset when I try to help with soemthing that I know they can do on their own.

la_mona
by on May. 5, 2013 at 5:43 PM
If my kids didn't know how to do simple things for themselves they might never get most of the things they ask for... Ijs whoever said being a single parent was easy
Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on May. 6, 2013 at 10:36 AM

We give our kids chores and much Independence.  Connor (almost 7 years) has to wipe down his sink everynight, sweep/mop his bathroom floor, clean his room, pick up after himself.

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