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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Cant seem to bond with my 3month old because of my depression an anxiety.

Posted by on May. 3, 2013 at 12:31 PM
  • 10 Replies
1 mom liked this
What should i do?
by on May. 3, 2013 at 12:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Bleacheddecay
by Silver Member on May. 3, 2013 at 12:54 PM
1 mom liked this

Go to a doctor. Get an evaluation, medication and counseling.

Canadiana
by on May. 3, 2013 at 1:16 PM

Yes please do, don't feel ashamed, but this could turn serious fast, you need help, it's not your fault, but it has to happen.  Best of luck.

nurse1997
by Member on May. 3, 2013 at 1:16 PM

Hi momma congrats on the baby ;] Listen its a big adjustment having a baby talk to your doc see if its baby blues or are you depressed there is a difference- Are you getting help at home ? Are you getting sleep LOL like we get sleep with babies ? Money plays a big part in anxiety too Hang in there get to the bottom of it thou to be honest it took me a while too to bond with my baby  your like omg I got this to do that to do and the list is growing and every one wants to see that dam baby LOL its like hello im still here relax,breathe,and take things slow you will be a good mom it just might take you a little time to get there ;]  

atlmom2
by Ruby Member on May. 3, 2013 at 1:18 PM
See a doctor today.
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KLove_Mom
by Member on May. 3, 2013 at 1:20 PM

87% of women go through some part of what you're feeling after having a baby, but in many it lasts longer and goes deeper.

Please seek professional guidance on how to deal with it. No one wants anyone to get hurt, and everyone wants to help you bond with and nurture your child.

candymandy
by on May. 3, 2013 at 1:38 PM

I went through something similar with both my kids. I wouldn't necessary call it post partum, but with my first child I didn't realize that babies were big lumps.. They eat, peed, pooped, sometimes smiled, and mainly slept. My son was boring.. I never experienced a newborn.. I didn't feel bonded to a lump. The older he got and started reacting to my silly voices and tickling feet the more I enjoyed his company.. I didn't hate him, I was capable of feeling joy and happiness, just really didn't with him. And to me newborns look like aliens all newborns.. Even at 25 I was clearly unprepared/immature for what a newborn really meant. I didn't lose my cool or what to get rid of him, just didn't feel this all powerful love for him. But those feelings came, every little milestone.. Saying mama, grabbing for me when a stranger holds him.. One day without realizing it I was in love..  I asked my closet friends who had kids did u feel bonded with your baby right away and most were like the second they were born. It made me feel like a bad mother that I didn't feel that way towards my first child. When I had my 2nd son 4 years later I was confident I was a full loving mother now I would instantly have those loving feelings this time.. Same thing happened I had an alien looking baby, he was a blob. I didn't feel that overpowering love sensation when he was born. But every day he becomes that adorable little boy. I had to come to terms that I'm not like every other mother; I won't feel the same way that you do, that she does... But I'm still a good mom. I love my boys we have that bond now and I would fight tooth and nail for them.. Alien lump and all.


SHEMEKIA
by on May. 3, 2013 at 9:18 PM
did anybody have aniexty bout every an anything. I didn't.
Mamamanic
by Gold Member on May. 3, 2013 at 10:29 PM

Your anxiety could be from something else. I'm sure you have an idea what the cause of it is. I had many problems in my home life and right before my second dd was born (like 2 days prior to c-sec) my father passed away.  When I had my first one I had all kinds of anxieties (about her, and what ifs) and had to let go and let God kinda look at things. I have control over, what I can control that is it. You might need to take a big step and decide if you want to give up breastfeeding and get on meds if you are having very sever episodes. 

Quoting SHEMEKIA:

did anybody have aniexty bout every an anything. I didn't.


alexis_06
by AnnaLisa on May. 4, 2013 at 1:07 AM

 you definitely need to see a dr

HappyMommyToo
by on May. 5, 2013 at 1:08 AM

I would go to a doctor and talk to them, or go to where you gave birth and talk to someone at the hospital. THEY WILL help. It sounds like you have post-partum. Hang in there hun!

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