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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

graduation party or not

Posted by on May. 5, 2013 at 7:34 AM
  • 14 Replies
I have a 17 year old daughter graduating this year who is also the mother to my 5 month old granddaughter... the last 2 years has been very difficult due to my daughters defiance of every rule I've given, blatent disrespect, & unappreciative of most everything...with all that attitude she has excelled in her school work but I don't feel that alone justifies giving her a party. I am experiencing a feeling of loss by not following tradition & such anger for her behavior, is it wrong to not give her a party for her accomplishment even knowing the only reason she anticipates it is for the "grad cash"?
by on May. 5, 2013 at 7:34 AM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Ruby Member on May. 5, 2013 at 7:59 AM
1 mom liked this
If all she wants is money I would not. Although, if you are sending out grad announcements she will get money anyway. The party is to celebrate graduating, not asking for money. People can bring a card and no money.
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JoeMax
by on May. 5, 2013 at 8:01 AM
1 mom liked this
You can recognize her accomplishment without rewarding her bad attitude. If it were me, I would get her a small but nice gift and take her out to dinner with immediate family. That way she knows you and the family are all proud of her for excelling in school.
TawnyaAnn
by on May. 5, 2013 at 8:53 AM
Thank you ladies! Just looking for a liil outside validation :)
bpryce
by on May. 5, 2013 at 9:03 AM
i never had a graduation party and i was a good student and not a teen mom. i didnt take it personal, nor did i have any expectations of a party. if you want to do something take her out to dinner with just some family members and maybe one close friend
anotherandree
by Inga on May. 5, 2013 at 12:09 PM
1 mom liked this

Are you sure that all she wants is the "grad cash" or is that the anger talking?  The reason why I ask is because I was an near straight A student but my mother "did not bother" with a graduation party because I was headed to college.  I was crushed because I worked very hard in school.  If your daughter would like her accomplishments celebrated because she is proud that is one thing, but if she is greedy, that is something else entirely.  I just wanted to throw that out.

---terrah---
by on May. 5, 2013 at 12:18 PM
1 mom liked this

I can understand where you are coming from. I'm sure after two years you are beyond frustrated with your DD and it sounds like you have every right to be. But in my opinion, I'd probably still have a small party for her. Only because a graduation party is about celebrating academic achievements which it sounds like she did well with. You don't have to have a big blowout party but just make sure that your frustration and anger at your DD isn't causing you to downplay how good she did in school.

If it were me, I'd still have a small party but I'd ask that all guests donate money to a local charity in your DD's name instead of giving a gift....that way, she gets her party, you won't feel bad for not having a party and a local charity will get much needed donations. Either that, or I'd ask that the guests who want to bring money as a gift. to put it in a trust fund or savings account for your granddaughter instead of giving the cash to DD. That way, something positive will come out of what seems like a trying time for your family.

Bleacheddecay
by Silver Member on May. 5, 2013 at 2:10 PM

I never gave mine a party and they were respectful. I wasn't aware it was a tradition.

Christine0813
by on May. 5, 2013 at 2:17 PM

 This is reasonable.

Quoting JoeMax:

You can recognize her accomplishment without rewarding her bad attitude. If it were me, I would get her a small but nice gift and take her out to dinner with immediate family. That way she knows you and the family are all proud of her for excelling in school.


MJP76
by on May. 5, 2013 at 2:44 PM

Bad behavior does not get rewarded with a party.

Lindalou907
by Silver Member on May. 5, 2013 at 7:56 PM

Oh heck no.

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