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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

Secretly Moving Out?

Posted by on May. 7, 2013 at 11:52 AM
  • 14 Replies

I have a question regarding my Son's father...

We had a conversation yesterday, and I brought up a joke about him "just moving out without notice one day" (because whenever we discuss trying to "get along", and if it does not work, he will want to move out, and take our Son with him as a Separation from Mother, Seeking Primary Custody) and I mentioned that would be illegal(he wants/wanted to not live with me because I am/was "mean" "to him", and I'm not an unfit parent whatsoever where he would have a True basis for taking our Son with him) and he said that it would not be illegal, it would just be in HIS WORDS, "In Bad Taste".

Is this true?  I do not go out and sociallize, I do not drink/do drugs, I do not sleep around, I buy our Son what he needs(food, clothing) and I also pay rent.  

Our rent just went up another $45, and the next cell phone bill(he is the Account Holder)will be HUGE for now on, because he himself choose to add on whatnot(I think he's been talking to his elder sister, who is an Evil Bitch from Hell, who hates herself/life, and uses her prior psychology class attendance to manipulate him into doing stupid things that financially ruin the household, while I have cut down on my expenses, and I did not have many anyway)

I hope to God he does not have anything planned for June, and is keeping it a secret.

I need advice, not sure where my Son's father's Real Mind is(who's in there, his sister/mother/step-father, others with messed up lives who should not give out advice to the Weak).

Thanks. 

by on May. 7, 2013 at 11:52 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SuchAVirgo35
by on May. 7, 2013 at 11:53 AM

Also, I'm not abusive to my Son whatsoever, in any way.

HaileysMom07180
by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2013 at 11:58 AM

well for one be advised, that if he is the father of your son, then yes he can legally take him.  there has to be a specific custody or divorce decree in order for him to not be allowed to take him.  like i said unless he isn't biologically the father.  second of all, if you are worried about him leaving you and you are tired of the threats and you pay the bills anyway, leave him before he leaves you and take your son with you so he can't do the same.  doesn't sound to me like your a bad mother

Bleacheddecay
by Gold Member on May. 7, 2013 at 12:37 PM

I'd consult a lawyer to see what I could do to prevent or minimize your husband from acting out on these threats. If I'm paying the bills he would be moving out but without the child.

SuchAVirgo35
by on May. 7, 2013 at 1:45 PM

I've already filled out a form via legalmatch.com, and so far no one has viewed my case#. I'm not sure if my Son's father blocked their/my phone number from corresponding with each other.  I remember last month, while speaking to my therapist over my cell phone, we were immediately cut off when I got into detail about the going-ons in the household.  So I'm not sure if he has bought, or one of his family members have bought malware/spyware to see what I'm doing during the day, and also, I have limited access to some features on a cell phone that I PAID FOR.  We had to go to the Verizon store yesterday to see if I could find out more, but was told by an associate that it would be impossible for someone to do this(I've checked online, and there are sophisticated software that cannot be detected when using any phone, especially a smart-phone like mine). 

He has been having some interpersonal issues lately, feeling like I'm the cause(I prevented him from bringing in alcohol, and removing what alcohol he was trying to push me into drinking with him, and I do not like to drink at all) and yesterday morning he said it was hard to admit that he has issues, and I had to remind him that we BOTH need to repair our interpersonal issues, and spend this summer making certain that our Son no longer feels the bad Energy that is circulating around the apartment, in which he has acted out in school.  My Son's father is in finals at an online college, but at the same time, he has increasingly been texting/facebook using while doing his schoolwork.  He has promised our Son that he was to go outside this prior Sunday to play football with him, then it never happened.

My Son's father also said something negative about "my" wanting air conditioning, and how expensive it would be to have it, and that he does not expect the weather to be so bad this summer because of the wintery-like spring.  I explained to him that the temperature will more than likely be hot, and that the weather is pretty much unpredictable these days.  His priorities are very much messed up.  I've spoken to my Dad, and he really cannot help me as much as I'd hope(he is elderly, and is caring for his dying wife, and has admitted that he does not have that much experience in relationships, and is now learning more and more as he is an AA motivational speaker) and my therapist and elder friend have told me to "leave him alone"(meaning not to try and "aggravate him") and maybe negative things will slightly die down.

I'm just sick of his secrecy/LYING(for his Mentally Sick relatives)...I've asked him about our Son's saving's account, and he has used some of the money for food(he said that he did not eat workplace cafeteria food, because it was "gross", so he went out to go find somewhere more than likely expensive to eat lunch), because he does not get paid this week, but has stated that the money he took out was only used for gas, so he insists that is all he took out of our Son's savings.  But how did he pay for lunch if he did not use his account at work for food that is in the cafeteria there?  It does not make sense.

I highly believe he has been told that I would not ask deep questions, and go "oh", and not think anything of it.  I'm keeping tabs, but not ready to get into the deep conversation, because of the "Calvary"(his Wild Wild West mentality relatives, who like to gang up on individuals who appear to be a threat, like me for some reason).  They use money as a source to keep people "silent" and "in their place".  Some of their money is illegal, because he has mentioned that if the IRS found out about his mother's/step-father's hay-bailing business, they would be in big trouble, so they have him and their cash checks for them(according to him) and just yesterday he was to give his mother $24 that he mentioned AFTER I used money I could have additionally used for the grocery store instead of fast food, because she told him to meet him at one place, but ended up telling him to meet him somewhere else, but was to be gone WAY after we were to be there to do shopping.

These people love to try and "show off", buy purchasing chrome bumpers/sides for their newly bought $40k trucks, jewelry, spending ridiculous amounts of cash at restaurants, and "unnecessary" gifts(even for people they hate, like me, but they no longer do this, because they know that I do not like them), but they live in the most horded, dilapidated home you could ever imagine(his mother and step-father's trailer is beyond needing to be torn down).

So I'm going to call my Dad and find out if he may know something about whether or not my Son's father can do this, because I think doing this out of "Spite" is pretty much illegal.

Thank You for the advice though. 

jojo_star
by on May. 7, 2013 at 1:48 PM

He is your child's father, if his name is on the birth certificate, he has every right to take him until a legal custody agreement is settled on, then he can't violate that. It's doubtful he'd be able to gain full custody if everything you've said is true, but joint custody seems likely. 

Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on May. 7, 2013 at 2:22 PM
He has every right to
Him. He is his father.
jabs54
by Platinum Member on May. 7, 2013 at 2:26 PM

 Are you married?  If so I believe it is not considered kidnapping if his father takes him. 

SuchAVirgo35
by on May. 9, 2013 at 9:42 AM

No...I asked him to marry me for the sake of our Son to have both biological parents raising him in the same household, he never really gave me an answer.  

LizzieAnnesMom
by Member on May. 9, 2013 at 9:46 AM
If he is on the birth certificate he can legally take him and move out. Just like you could.
mommy2zbg
by Member on May. 9, 2013 at 9:48 AM

 If you are not married, you need to go to court and get a custody order like NOW even if you are together.

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