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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

"I don't love you anymore"

Posted by on May. 7, 2013 at 12:58 PM
  • 9 Replies

   We have had a recent issue arise with DS1 (3yo) -- he has taken to saying "I don't love you anymore" or "You're a bad mommy/daddy" when he is mad/angry.
   He does not hear this at home. I'm not sure if he would hear something at the gym's kid area like this. So, I'm not sure where he has picked this up.
   DH thinks that since he understands love and good vs. bad that he says it and understands it (to an extent). I suppose this could be true, but he's only three! Don't three-year-olds mimic?
    Anyone else have this issue?

by on May. 7, 2013 at 12:58 PM
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Replies (1-9):
SexyTeacher
by Gold Member on May. 7, 2013 at 1:08 PM

Yes, yes, yes!!!! Totally normal!! Just wait until he gets older and says " I hate you!!" for the first time!! My heart tore in half and when I calmed down I remembered saying the same thing to my parents!!

ELFs_Mommy
by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2013 at 1:14 PM
It's a completely normal phase. My now 7 yr old did it at around that age, and my 3.5 yr old is in that stage right now. As annoying as it is, and as painful as it may be to hear, just remind yourself that he doesn't really mean it, he's just using what limited language he has to express his frustrations. And also remember, this too shall pass.
jojo_star
by on May. 7, 2013 at 1:45 PM

It's normal. Even as they get older, kids may say something like that, it's just how kids are. Just explain to him that it isn't nice, and don't let it get to you. 

Bmat
by Barb on May. 7, 2013 at 1:55 PM
1 mom liked this

It is typical, especially if he gets a reaction. You may want to reply, OK, but I'll always love you.

jean_marie1987
by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2013 at 1:58 PM

  We do... I don't want him to think it's okay, but I don't want him to get in trouble for expressing himself either.

Quoting Bmat:

It is typical, especially if he gets a reaction. You may want to reply, OK, but I'll always love you.

 

PandTsmomjuly
by Silver Member on May. 7, 2013 at 2:09 PM

My 5 year old does this, my 9 yr old did this, and I'm waiting for my 3 yr old to start.

"I hate you!" gets "I love you too"

"You"re the meanest mommy I ever had!" gets "You're welcome"

"I want a different mommy!" gets "But then you'd never see me again"

"I want my daddy!" gets "I'll miss you"

Usually when they calm down they come to me and apologize and say they love me. I think the main thing is to stay calm and not down-play their frustrations at not being in control of their lives.

Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on May. 7, 2013 at 2:16 PM
Normal.
Bmat
by Barb on May. 7, 2013 at 3:06 PM
1 mom liked this

LOL! I love your responses!

Quoting PandTsmomjuly:

My 5 year old does this, my 9 yr old did this, and I'm waiting for my 3 yr old to start.

"I hate you!" gets "I love you too"

"You"re the meanest mommy I ever had!" gets "You're welcome"

"I want a different mommy!" gets "But then you'd never see me again"

"I want my daddy!" gets "I'll miss you"

Usually when they calm down they come to me and apologize and say they love me. I think the main thing is to stay calm and not down-play their frustrations at not being in control of their lives.


PandTsmomjuly
by Silver Member on May. 7, 2013 at 4:29 PM

LOL. It gets them to stop and think about what they are saying while letting them know that I'm here no matter what :) It's been pretty effective but my 5 yr old now says "HATE DOESN'T MEAN LOVE!" lol.

Quoting Bmat:

LOL! I love your responses!

Quoting PandTsmomjuly:

My 5 year old does this, my 9 yr old did this, and I'm waiting for my 3 yr old to start.

"I hate you!" gets "I love you too"

"You"re the meanest mommy I ever had!" gets "You're welcome"

"I want a different mommy!" gets "But then you'd never see me again"

"I want my daddy!" gets "I'll miss you"

Usually when they calm down they come to me and apologize and say they love me. I think the main thing is to stay calm and not down-play their frustrations at not being in control of their lives.




wedding ticker

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