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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

HELP! Defiant 3-Year Old

Posted by on May. 13, 2013 at 9:27 AM
  • 12 Replies

Anyone have tips for a very naughty 3-year old?? My poor friend is going out of her mind. Last night her daughter woke up sometime in the middle of the night to use the potty, and proceeded to tear apart the bathroom. Getting into my friends makeup, ripping magazines etc. Lately she puts up a fight at bedtime, doesn't listen, and talks back. How do you handle these behaviors?? It possibly could be due to a new baby in the house (born in January). Please give me any advice you have! Thanks :)

by on May. 13, 2013 at 9:27 AM
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Replies (1-10):
zacmacsmomm
by Member on May. 13, 2013 at 9:57 AM

Age 3 is ten times worse than age 2 lol.  When my daughter was that age we had to put a gate up at her door, once she climbed that, we put 2 gates up lol.  She would get up in the middle of the night and get into stuff all the time.  My daughter had negative consequences for every negative behavior.  I also learned that if I didn't show much emotion, her "tantrums" got less.  But I also spanked on occaion as well, I'm not suggesting that as some parents don't spank, but clear consequences help.  I would also give my daughter "choices" like, either choose to eat your meal or your choose to go hungry and I let her know that I was fine with either choice. LOL my daughter was a hellion.   I seriously didn't think I would survive to her 4th b-day.  Well she's now 14 and is such an amazing young woman.  This too shall pass, but it's a bitch of a storm to weather!

emmy526
by Silver Member on May. 13, 2013 at 10:41 AM

By setting clear rules and consequences to the child, and remaining consistant.  Rewards given when appropriate, lots of praise for growing up and making the right choice, and threats of punishment, yelling/or screaming, demeaning, belittling or spanking the child for not complying will result in more defiance. 

melissaaytes
by Member on May. 13, 2013 at 11:57 AM

This makes me feel better!!  I am half way there, my dd will be 4 in Nov :)  She is a nightmare now and has always been sooo good!!  She has developed that attitude, but I try not to pay attention to her tantrums either I walk away and tell her she can talk to me when she is done.  

Quoting zacmacsmomm:

Age 3 is ten times worse than age 2 lol.  When my daughter was that age we had to put a gate up at her door, once she climbed that, we put 2 gates up lol.  She would get up in the middle of the night and get into stuff all the time.  My daughter had negative consequences for every negative behavior.  I also learned that if I didn't show much emotion, her "tantrums" got less.  But I also spanked on occaion as well, I'm not suggesting that as some parents don't spank, but clear consequences help.  I would also give my daughter "choices" like, either choose to eat your meal or your choose to go hungry and I let her know that I was fine with either choice. LOL my daughter was a hellion.   I seriously didn't think I would survive to her 4th b-day.  Well she's now 14 and is such an amazing young woman.  This too shall pass, but it's a bitch of a storm to weather!


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Bleacheddecay
by Gold Member on May. 13, 2013 at 12:07 PM

This.


Quoting emmy526:

By setting clear rules and consequences to the child, and remaining consistant.  Rewards given when appropriate, lots of praise for growing up and making the right choice, and threats of punishment, yelling/or screaming, demeaning, belittling or spanking the child for not complying will result in more defiance. 



atlmom2
by Ruby Member on May. 13, 2013 at 12:48 PM
Don't allow her access to the bathroom. Consistant consequences.
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Txlisa7969
by Member on May. 13, 2013 at 12:57 PM

Some advice for getting into trouble at night.  If your friend is a sound sleeper or her child if fairly stealthy (my middle child was). They may want to put a baby monitor in her room to give them a head up if she wakes during the night. 

momofsunshine77
by on May. 13, 2013 at 1:03 PM

My dd got up to go potty in the middle of the night and would get into knives in the kitchen - she climbs on chairs and such.  I put a safety first door knob on her door at night so I have to let her out.  I would rather see her not get hurt.  She too smart - she could turn the stove on at night if she wanted.  I tried expaining that was dangerous and she didn't listen, so the doorknob went on.  The day that she can listen or when she figures it out, I will take if off.  until then it's on and I hate it, but it keeps her safe at night and me sane!!! LOL

Janis_1975
by on May. 13, 2013 at 1:08 PM

if the girl is potty trained then she does need access to the bathroom. I would put everything up high, where she can not get to it.

Is she doing any discipline at all?  I would be putting her in the corner for 3 minutes every time she was doing something bad.

zacmacsmomm
by Member on May. 13, 2013 at 3:21 PM

Both my kids started turning human at age 4, it's a struggle trust me!!!  I kept a bottle of jagermiester in the freezers for those emergencies lol. 


Quoting melissaaytes:

This makes me feel better!!  I am half way there, my dd will be 4 in Nov :)  She is a nightmare now and has always been sooo good!!  She has developed that attitude, but I try not to pay attention to her tantrums either I walk away and tell her she can talk to me when she is done.  

Quoting zacmacsmomm:

Age 3 is ten times worse than age 2 lol.  When my daughter was that age we had to put a gate up at her door, once she climbed that, we put 2 gates up lol.  She would get up in the middle of the night and get into stuff all the time.  My daughter had negative consequences for every negative behavior.  I also learned that if I didn't show much emotion, her "tantrums" got less.  But I also spanked on occaion as well, I'm not suggesting that as some parents don't spank, but clear consequences help.  I would also give my daughter "choices" like, either choose to eat your meal or your choose to go hungry and I let her know that I was fine with either choice. LOL my daughter was a hellion.   I seriously didn't think I would survive to her 4th b-day.  Well she's now 14 and is such an amazing young woman.  This too shall pass, but it's a bitch of a storm to weather!



 

kydandar
by on May. 13, 2013 at 3:42 PM

I too am having a hard time with my boys. Age 3 is much worse than age 2 for my sons and daughter. I cant wait for them to turn 4 because I am not having much fun at all with this stage. My only advice is to stay consistent with each punishment. One of my boys climbs and messes in everything so putting things up high doesnt help for me. I have to put everything in my husband and my room and bathroom so they cant get it. Of course the child looks on the cabinet doors help until they figure those out. My daughter didnt bother with things too much if it had locks.

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