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Is this demoralizing for her or am I over thinking it?

Posted by on May. 15, 2013 at 7:44 PM
  • 65 Replies
The end of year assembly is coming up for my 2nd grade DD. last year she ran out of it hysterically crying. Why? Because she was the ONLY kid in her class not to get an award. Anyone, with a B- grade or above in all subjects, gets an award as well as 2 citizenship awards per class. Most of the kids received several because they were on the "honor roll" all year so they give them an additional one to show that.

Now let me say my Dd is dyslexic and has some attention problems. She works really hard but academics just aren't her thing. I keep reminding her she got the lead in the school play without even trying out for that part, and she got a blue ribbon in the county level of the speech meet. We all have our gifts. I just felt like she was crushed last year by feeling singled out for "being stupid". Maybe I shouldn't make her go this year. The other part if me says I'm babying her and she needs to learn we can't win them all, and she should be there to support her classmates.

What do you think?!

Also, don't get me started on the B- honor roll thing.I feel like it cheapens the straight A hard work to hand out so many awards.
by on May. 15, 2013 at 7:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Platinum Member on May. 15, 2013 at 7:49 PM
5 moms liked this
Kids need to learn. Everyone doesn't get a trophy or award.
Tell her to work harder.
I agree to praise her for what she is good at but she needs to learn to deal or try harder.
Do not keep her home. Way too many kids are babied today. Its getting worse and worse.
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CameronsMommy23
by on May. 15, 2013 at 7:51 PM
That's kind of sh*tty of the teacher if she was literally the only kid without an award of some sort. In that case I'd be talking with the teacher about your daughter feeling embarrassed. Does she get any help at school for her dyslexia? Maybe you can get her some for the upcoming school yr.
msslou
by on May. 15, 2013 at 7:54 PM
I agree that the everyone wins thing is out of control. It was just so hard when your 7 year old is the only one who didn't get something. I guess I could point it put and remind her if how she felt the next time she complains about the work she has to do. If you want to get better...you had better do it.


Quoting atlmom2:

Kids need to learn. Everyone doesn't get a trophy or award.

Tell her to work harder.

I agree to praise her for what she is good at but she needs to learn to deal or try harder.

Do not keep her home. Way too many kids are babied today. Its getting worse and worse.

Schauseil
by on May. 15, 2013 at 7:55 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree with you on the B-honor roll and the making her go thing. She needs to learn to deal with disappointment.
aurora.dove
by Bronze Member on May. 15, 2013 at 7:56 PM
1 mom liked this

This exactly, kids get coddled way too much these days. They need to learn they can't win everything all the time.

Quoting atlmom2:

Kids need to learn. Everyone doesn't get a trophy or award.
Tell her to work harder.
I agree to praise her for what she is good at but she needs to learn to deal or try harder.
Do not keep her home. Way too many kids are babied today. Its getting worse and worse.


msslou
by on May. 15, 2013 at 7:57 PM
It's actually nothing the teacher controls. The administration does it based on grades. She doesn't get help because she doesn't score in the bottom 10% of all students county wide so it isn't considered a learning disability. Basically she is too smart to get help. Again..,a county decision. Her teacher stays after school with her twice a week (for free), and we do extra work at home.
Edited for autocorrect spelling. ;)


Quoting CameronsMommy23:That's kind of sh*tty of the teacher if she was literally the only kid without an award of some sort. In that case I'd be talking with the teacher about your daughter feeling embarrassed. Does she get any help at school for her dyslexia? Maybe you can get her some for the upcoming school yr.
jojo_star
by Jojo on May. 15, 2013 at 7:58 PM

I wouldn't keep her home. She didn't earn an award. That is that. Not everyone gets an award all the time, you get what you earn. She has to learn the consequences of her actions, not getting the required grades. Yes, she is dyslexic, but that doesn't mean she deserves special treatment, that would take away from the value of the awards that the kids who earned them got. 

cjsmom1
by Silver Member on May. 15, 2013 at 8:00 PM
1 mom liked this
I have a problem with B- being able to get so many awards, but that's just me. I would have her go and remind her how good she is at other things.
atlmom2
by Platinum Member on May. 15, 2013 at 8:03 PM
My dd was behind. We put her in Sylvan and worked with her extra all the time. In HS, dh would give her extra math homework every week. She knew if she wanted to do well she had to do extra work compared to most. The regular homework was a lot but a few days she did extra especially before quizzes and tests. She got mostly B's in math in hs with a few C's sprinkled in (which was good for her). All her extra work she did paid off.


Quoting msslou:

I agree that the everyone wins thing is out of control. It was just so hard when your 7 year old is the only one who didn't get something. I guess I could point it put and remind her if how she felt the next time she complains about the work she has to do. If you want to get better...you had better do it.




Quoting atlmom2:

Kids need to learn. Everyone doesn't get a trophy or award.


Tell her to work harder.


I agree to praise her for what she is good at but she needs to learn to deal or try harder.


Do not keep her home. Way too many kids are babied today. Its getting worse and worse.


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elzmnsf
by Bronze Member on May. 15, 2013 at 8:13 PM
A b minus honor roll??? O please, way to reward mediocrity! I do feel for your dd though. It would suck to feel so singled out at such a young age. Our school spreads the awards out over the year , and mostly everyone gets one at some point. This year, neither of my dd's did and I think the last awards assembly is done, but since it is so spread out they haven't noticed if they were the only ones or not and I haven't the slightest clue if the were either. I am torn on your dilemma though. While I hate the whole everyone wins everything mentality that goes on in relation to our children these days, I am more opposed to it in older kids. I get why we don't keep score in tball for instance. But there are leagues here for middle school where everyone wins and that diminishes valuable life lessons that these activities are supposed to teach! But I have a 7 yr old dd who struggles as well, and she would feel bad in that situation as well and it seems she's the only kid who is expected to learn the lesson that not everyone is good at everything. No advice but lots of hugs!
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