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Advice for Moms Advice for Moms

How do you get your teenagers to dress respectably?

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My 12yo and 13yo actually do pretty well at this but I don't really know what, if anything, I did that made them want to dress that way.

My 14yo cousin, however, is dressing like a skank and her mom's at a complete loss as to what to do.

How do you get a teen to dress respectably rather than slutty?



by on May. 16, 2013 at 10:40 AM
Replies (11-20):
atlmom2
by Ruby Member on May. 16, 2013 at 12:05 PM
What's skanky??
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jhslove
by Bronze Member on May. 16, 2013 at 12:07 PM

When I was in high school, my parents simply wouldn't let me leave the house if I was dressed inappropriately. They also didn't buy me clothes that they thought were too revealing.

UpSheRises
by Member on May. 16, 2013 at 4:02 PM

Who is buying the 14yo's clothes?

pce68
by on May. 16, 2013 at 10:25 PM

I started talking to my dd when she was very young about which clothes were appropriate and which weren't. As she got older I told her why it was important not to show too much of her body,and to respect her body. Now that she's a teen I talk to her about the wrong messages you are sending to boys when you dress like that, and that is is more important to find a boy who likes you for who you are, for your mind, and your spirit, and not just bc he sees you in a skanky outfit. The boys who want you bc you wear a skanky outfit are also the onew who just want sex and not the ones who want a relationship.

I also practiced modest dressing myself, so that helps. I surround her with other families and kids who also practice modesty. And I refise to buy her outfits that are too revealing. I also refuse to buy her clothes that have words on them, if the words represent a bad message. My dd has limited money so she really doesn't have a way to get clothes unless I give her money or I buy them for her.

pce68
by on May. 16, 2013 at 10:31 PM

It is also really important, I think, to use similar rules about clothes when the girls are preschool and toddler age as when they are teens. Think about what clothes you would NOT want your child to wear as a teen, and then don't allow your 4 yr old to wear it. I see many families let their preschooler wear tube tops, and itty bitty bikinis, and other revealing outfits, and think it is soooo cute, and they keep letting the child wear those types of clothes, and then one day the girl hits puberty and then they suddenly try to tell the girl that short shorts and tank tops are no longer allowed. Of course the child will fight this, if they have been allowed to wear it for the last 10 years, or however long. Don't change the rules just bc they hit puberty.

1squishysmom
by Bronze Member on May. 16, 2013 at 10:31 PM

We only have boys. They are teens and when friends that are girls, not girl-friends, were visiting here dressed like cheap hookers, even if I didn't know them, I would say "You look like a cheap hooker". They just smiled and thought I was joking. I wasn't. I find it disgusting that parents would allow their young daughters to walk out of their homes dressed like this, and certainly wonder what they were thinking when they bought them the clothes they were wearing. 

rhiane24
by on May. 16, 2013 at 10:44 PM

Teach them how to do it at their young age.Make sure that they know what is the pros and cons of wearing that kind of clothes.and last of all be a good example.

---terrah---
by on May. 16, 2013 at 11:14 PM

I think there alot of variables when it comes down to it. Obviously, teaching self respect starting at a very young age is important. But also making sure as a parent making sure to lead by example by wearing clothes that are respectable and not slutty.

But I think most of all in cases of a minor, not allowing them to pick out or wear slutty things. If a 14 year old is allowed to dress slutty...some of the blame is on the parent. At 14, a parent still has the right to monitor clothing purchases.

sabrtooth1
by on May. 16, 2013 at 11:41 PM

Just like you get your kids to do ANYTHING you say.  Teach them from childhood that disobediance is NOT an acceptable option.

Mom2Just1
by Mom2boys on May. 17, 2013 at 12:09 AM



Quoting Mommy2justone:

Don't buy them those kind of clothes. And if they want to dress like a skank they can get a job and pay for clothing like that. 


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